Dos and Don’ts of Having Emotionally Fulfilling Relationships
Having an emotionally fulfilling relationship is the key to staying together until death does us apart. You want a long-term commitment, one that leads to growing old together.
But, the obstacles in your path may deter you from reaching your goal. Overcoming them, as a couple, can steer you in the right direction again.
For you to get there, you must familiarize yourself with the dos and don’ts of having a fulfilling relationship.
Knowing what you should and should not do to live together in harmony and be with each other for the long haul plays a crucial role in feeling fulfilled in a relationship.
The recipe for a healthy and fulfilling relationship
Every relationship is made from different ingredients, hence, comparing your relationship to another couple’s relationship is fruitless.
You came together because you clicked. You have a healthy and fulfilling relationship because you share a common goal for how you want the relationship to be like.
This brings you both on the same page. What are the ingredients of having a healthy and fulfilling relationship?
To have a fulfilling experience, you need a recipe for living it by knowing the ingredients you should and should not put in it.
The dos of a fulfilling relationship
Following are the dos of a fulfilling relationship:
1. Maintain a meaningful emotional connection
Neurobiological research has shown that emotional safety is pivotal in maintaining a healthy emotional connection with your partner. Make each other feel emotionally safe, emotionally fulfilled, and loved.
Feeling loved means your partner accepts and values you. They completely understand and get you. You do not want to exist for each other for the sake of coexisting.
You want to be emotionally available for each other. Having emotional fulfillment will close the distance between you and your partner.
2. Welcome respectful disagreements
Two ways that couples handle and address disagreements are either quietly talking things through or raising their voices to get the point across.
Regardless of the manner you handle conflicts, ensure you do it in a respectful manner and, most importantly, never be afraid of conflicts.
You need to feel safe to express yourself to your partner, not fearful of how they would retaliate. Together, aim to find solutions to conflicts without degradation, humiliation, or insisting on being right.
3. Maintain outside relationships, hobbies, and interests
Your partner cannot meet all your needs, and you cannot meet theirs. So, having these unrealistic expectations puts unnecessary strain on each other.
Surprisingly, to keep the spark alive, you need to keep outside relationships, hobbies, and interests alive.
Do not let your relationship with your partner consume you so much that you end up losing your identity.
Stay connected with your friends and family, and continue doing what you love outside of your relationship.
4. Strive for honest and open communication
Honest and open communication is one of the most essential ingredients in any fulfilling relationship — whether it is with your partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend.
When two people can comfortably express their fears, needs, and desires with each other, it strengthens the bond and increases the trust between two people.
5. Focus on the positives
No one is perfect. Neither you nor your partner is perfect. Everyone has negative qualities about them, but the reason you are with each other is that the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones.
When you have a disagreement or argument, it is human nature to think of the negatives first and put the positives on the negative burner.
By always focusing on the negative aspects of a relationship, the relationship will not go anywhere.
Whenever you feel like your relationship is being threatened, consciously and intentionally tell each other what they like about each other, why they still want to be together, and how they can resolve the situation as quickly as possible.
The don’ts of a fulfilling relationship
Following are the don’ts of a fulfilling relationship:
1. Playing on your partner’s weaknesses
Do not play on their weaknesses, but always reiterate their strengths.
By continually telling them what they are doing wrong, you are decreasing their motivation to do anything right.
You are crushing their confidence by always pointing out the wrong in them. Instead, sit down with them to discuss how they can do things differently in the relationship.
2. Getting revenge on your partner
Taking revenge for what your partner may have done wrong is petty, and there is no better way to put that.
You want to steer clear of the cycle of revenge — you take revenge, they take revenge, you, them, and so on.
Always treat them the way you want them to treat you, regardless of how they act towards you. Never get even in a relationship because that spells doom.
3. Blowing things out of proportion
Sit down alone to reflect on the entire situation before you throw a tantrum or have a meltdown. Never assume or overthink a situation before talking to your partner.
Do not let your fears and insecurities catch up with you. When you feel a situation is too overwhelming, ask yourself if it is worth risking your entire relationship.
4. Acting out of desperation
Before you make any decision, think through it several times before you go through with it.
Acting out of desperation only leads to more misery. Sometimes, people get so desperate for their partner to change that they go as far as threatening divorce or a breakup.
In your mind, you think threatening them with divorce or breakup will force them to change, but in the event they agree, it will make you feel worse, as that is not what you intended.
In short, do not let your emotions get the best of you.
If nothing works and you want to work on your relationship to improve it, you can always seek marriage or couples counseling.
It can help you work through conflicts and come to a resolution. If both of you are willing, a counselor can help you add the right ingredients to your relationship.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.