15 Terrible Things a Husband Should Never Say to His Wife

It is a common fact that many men, especially married ones, find women complicated and that nothing much can be done about that. 

We often find people complaining that a woman’s mood can change within minutes, leaving her husband wondering what made his wife turn from calm to crazy in seconds!

It is not impossible for men to understand what women think and want. While trying to understand a female’s thought process can be a task for men, they can, at the very least, follow some ground rules to help them avoid arguments and conflicts with their wives.

For instance, you can think of what a husband should never say to his wife or what topics he should never comment on in front of his wife. Let’s read in detail.

What husbands should not do to their wives?

Husbands should not engage in any behavior that is physically or emotionally abusive to their wives. This includes hitting, pushing, or otherwise physically harming their partner, as well as engaging in verbal or emotional abuse, such as belittling, insulting, or controlling their partner. 

Additionally, husbands should not engage in behavior that is disrespectful or neglectful to their wives, such as ignoring their needs or desires, failing to provide emotional support, or engaging in infidelity. 

It is important for husbands to treat their wives with kindness, respect, and love, and to work to build a healthy and positive relationship together.

15 terrible things a husband should never say to his wife

A husband should always choose his words carefully and avoid saying things that could hurt or damage his wife’s self-esteem. In this article, we will discuss 15 terrible things a husband should never say to or talk about with his wife.

1. Never call your wife ‘fat’ or body shame her

Women go through a lot of body-changing events throughout their life which affects their hormones and also lifestyle. It is very common for them to gain a few pounds here and there. 

Also, in case you don’t know, body shaming is a form of emotional abuse that can be incredibly damaging to a woman’s self-esteem and mental health. Calling your wife “fat” or making negative comments about her body is hurtful and disrespectful.

According to Christiana Njoku, a licensed professional counselor:

A husband’s words can either be a sanctuary of love or a weapon of mass destruction; let your words not be the bomb that shatters her soul.

This can not only upset her but can lead to psychological harm that you don’t anticipate now. These are things a husband should never do.

It’s important for husbands to be supportive of their wives’ health and well-being, but this should always be done in a kind and respectful way. So, even if she asks for your honest opinion on how she looks, make it sound positive and productive.

2. Never compare your mother’s and your wife’s culinary skills

Have you ever said anything like this to your wife, “Honey, you have baked amazing cookies, almost as good as my mother’s, or the lasagna is delicious, my mom’s recipe was only a tad bit better”? 

Big mistake! You might think that you are complimenting your wife, but instead, you are demeaning her. These are examples of things you shouldn’t say to your wife.

She is your wife, not your mother. She neither wants to be your mother nor be compared to her. So, whenever she cooks something good (or not so good) for you, appreciate it and enjoy it, but don’t try to compare her to your mother or anybody else.

3. Never tell your wife to “calm down” or that she is “overreacting”

What a husband should never say to his wife? Don’t ask her to ‘relax’ in the middle of an argument.

When your wife is mad at you for forgetting something or doing something wrong, the worst thing that you can do is tell her to calm down or tell her that she is overreacting. 

She will not calm down; she will only get angrier. Maybe you should just listen to her and wait for the storm to pass! 

Related Reading: How Do I Control My Anger Outbursts and Calm My Nerves?

4. Never admit that you find any female friend or colleague more attractive

No matter how many years you have been married to your wife, never admit that you find your friend/ colleague/acquaintance more attractive. 

You might think that your relationship is past the juvenile jealousy phase but that generally never happens (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing). If you don’t want to deal with your wife’s passive aggression and silent treatment, it’s best if you don’t admit that you find any other woman more attractive.

5. Never use the argument “Is it that time of the month”

Many men tend to use this phrase when they are having an argument with their partner and can’t reach a conclusion. Menstruation is a delicate subject and must not be mishandled over an argument.

This is quite insensitive to say and not to mention, extremely sexist. Your wife is a sane human being and will likely not fight with you unless you have done something worthy of it.

6. Never complain to your wife about nagging

What a husband should never say to his wife? That ‘‘you’re nagging me’’.

There is no point in complaining about nagging. Do you remember the last time she nagged and it came out to be a fault at your end eventually?

Women tend to nag only when husbands forget something or do something frustrating. Also, complaining about her nagging will not make her stop, it will only arouse her irritation. It is better to just accept your mistake and try to rectify it so that she doesn’t have to nag you anymore.

7. Never mention past girlfriends

Well, it’s definitely one of the things you don’t say to your wife, at least not often.

You must have talked about your exes at the beginning of your relationship. So the cat is out of the bag, but it’s better if you don’t fiddle with it anymore. 

Try not to speak about your past girlfriends to your wife on any occasion. Talking about your ex will neither help her nor will it help you. You will cause her insecurity and irritability by making her feel that you still think about your exes.

Related Reading: How to Accept the Past of Your Partner: 12 Ways

8. Don’t mansplain her

Mansplaining is nothing but another way to look upon a woman by inducing an idea into her brain the way you or any man sees it. 

No matter how fierce or bold your wife is, chances are she is unprepared for that mansplained information and will most likely find it insulting. This can not only make her angry but can also leave her feeling disrespected.

If you want to understand what mansplaining means in pop culture, watch this informative video:

9. Don’t be the ‘man of the house’ even if you’re the sole breadwinner

Of course, you’re the man of the house but that doesn’t need to reflect in your actions or words. Don’t bombard her with phrases like ‘Just do as I say’ or ‘This is not your concern’. 

She may not be earning for you but she’s definitely supporting you and the family in some way or the other. Give her the respect a spouse deserves and you won’t have to invest time in apologizing later.

10. Don’t tell her to adjust to your family or situations

Over-adjustment is definitely not among the things to say to your wife.

It is often expected of women to adjust as per their husband’s families or situations because they are the supposed ‘homemakers’. What if she is not ready to or wants to adjust?

Remember, compromising in a marriage is a two-way thing. So, whenever she comes to you complaining about a certain matter, try just to lend an ear and hear her out instead of telling her that she needs to adjust more.

11. Don’t ever say that ‘this marriage was a mistake’

Even if you didn’t mean it or it was said in a fit of anger. Such a statement can leave a scar on any of the spouses, not just the wife. 

Humiliating your marriage is the worst thing you can do during an argument, which can leave a forever imprint on the health of a relationship. These are things your partner should never say to you.

12. Don’t questions her labor

Have you heard husbands asking their wives ‘’what did you do all day’’? This is on top when we talk about things not to say to your wife.

This is generally a stereotype women, who are homemakers, have to face. Regardless of a woman’s employment status, it’s very unlikely that she’s sitting idle all day and contributing absolutely nothing to the house. 

Did she ever say to you ‘’you do nothing in your office’’? No, right? Then what makes you question her routine?

13. Don’t complain that she’s never happy

If you think that you do everything in your capacity to make her happy but she looks dull and grumpy, maybe there’s something more to it. You can get annoyed and throw a statement like ‘‘You are always unhappy’’ only to make her feel more dejected.

Why not put in some effort to find out the cause of her unhappiness instead of buying her flowers and chocolates?

Related Reading: 5 Signs Your Wife Is Unhappy and How to Fix Your Relationship

14. Don’t command her to not touch your things

Wondering what things you should never say to your spouse? ‘’Why did you touch my stuff?’’

The point is she won’t touch your things if she doesn’t need to. While it’s okay to prefer keeping your stuff your way, it’s imperative that you keep the space tidy and neat, especially when she’s putting in efforts to keep the house presentable.

Also, if she won’t manage your belongings, you won’t be able to ask her where your watch is, or where your sock went. Right?

15. Don’t disrespect her family

Very important! Both spouses have the responsibility of respecting each other’s families or at least not disrespecting them. 

As a relationship coach, Christiana Njoku noted that:

The tongue of a husband can be a gentle breeze that soothes the soul; may your words be the gentle rain that nourishes your wife’s spirit and makes her bloom with joy and confidence.

Even if you didn’t like something her mother said to you or something her brother did at the last family dinner, just tell her in an understandable way that too in private. Remember, families are a sensitive topic for everyone and anyone.

Related Reading: 20 Signs of a Disrespectful Wife & How to Deal With It

How to love your wife and show it correctly

Loving your wife involves both words and actions. One of the best ways to show your love is to listen and communicate openly with her. 

Show interest in her day and her feelings, and be attentive to her needs. Remember important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, and surprise her with thoughtful gestures like flowers or a special dinner.

As Christiana Njoku suggests:

A husband’s greatest testimony of love for his wife is not just how he treats her but how he honors her family.

Consistently show affection, whether it’s holding hands, hugging, or kissing. Take an active role in household chores and child-rearing. And most importantly, be faithful and committed in your relationship, showing respect, trust, and support to your wife. When you consistently show love and affection, your wife will feel appreciated and cherished.

You can also consider couples therapy to better understand your spouse and attend to her needs.

Some more questions

Maintaining respect in a marriage from both husband’s and wife’s ends is essential for a healthy relationship. Here are some common questions on how to preserve and strengthen respect between partners.

• Whom do you call a ‘disrespectful’ husband?

A disrespectful husband is someone who consistently disregards his wife’s feelings, opinions, and needs. He may belittle or criticize her, dismiss her ideas, or refuse to compromise or collaborate. 

He may also engage in behaviors that are emotionally or physically abusive, controlling, or manipulative. Ultimately, a disrespectful husband fails to show the respect and consideration that is necessary for a healthy, loving, and fulfilling marriage.

• What makes a wife not respect her husband?

A wife may lose respect for her husband if he consistently fails to meet her expectations, behaves irresponsibly, or breaks his promises. He may also exhibit disrespectful or hurtful behaviors, such as criticizing, belittling, or dismissing her opinions and feelings. 

A husband who is emotionally or physically abusive, controlling, or unfaithful can also damage the respect and trust in the relationship. Overall, a lack of respect can stem from a range of issues that undermine the foundation of a healthy and loving marriage.

Let her see your love, not ignorance

In any successful marriage, it is important to prioritize showing love and respect toward your partner. As a husband, it is crucial to demonstrate your love towards your wife through your actions, listening to her, and being attentive to her needs. 

Being present and engaging in your relationship will help build a strong foundation based on mutual respect and understanding. All these are things a husband should do for his wife. 

Ignoring your wife’s needs or belittling her feelings will ultimately lead to a breakdown in trust and affection, jeopardizing the longevity of the relationship.

Also, in those cases, you might have to spend certain nights sleeping on the couch!

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less