25 Signs of a Disrespectful Wife & How to Handle It
Those who have been married for several years know from experience that all marriages have their ups and downs. But lately, is your marriage experiencing a new down?
Does your wife seem depressed, distant, and openly disrespectful of you? You want to make things better but are unsure how.
Let’s examine some of the signs of a disrespectful wife. Once these signs are identified, you can work towards a productive response to the disrespect and, hopefully, towards the healing of the marriage.
A key component of marital happiness is respect for one another, even in moments of conflict and disagreement. The lack of respect in a marriage can be one of the most painful situations you can find yourself in.
When signs of a disrespectful wife become apparent, you can feel unworthy and ignored, like you don’t exist and that all you are bringing to the relationship is going unnoticed.
Who is a disrespectful wife?
It is a bit difficult to define a disrespectful wife in a simplified statement as there are a myriad of signs and traits of a disrespectful wife.
If we take into consideration all the disrespectful wives available, their traits might be just as unique as themselves.
Nonetheless, a disrespectful wife is someone who is not concerned with her spouse’s happiness or liking. She is selfish and prefers to live her life as per her whims and fancies by not considering her spouse’s opinions and desires.
25 signs your wife is disrespecting you
Here are some signs of a disrespectful wife. Read these signs of a disrespectful wife to identify if some of these signs hold true for you.
If you feel that some or all of these signs are applicable to you, there is a dire need to take appropriate action to deal with this stressful situation effectively.
1. Your wife is rude towards you
She may openly criticize you in front of friends and family. And not in a cute, teasing way, such as “Oh, look at how messy your hair is!”
No, the rude wife will take that even further, perhaps stating in front of your friends, “He can never be bothered to care about how he looks.” This makes you feel belittled and embarrassed. This is definitely not okay.
2. Whatever you do, it is not enough
Your efforts to work hard to ensure that the family is well cared for financially go unnoticed or even criticized.
“I come home from the office, exhausted after another long day at work, and my wife treats me like crap,” stated one man who is dealing with a disrespectful wife. “I cannot understand why all the things I do to make her happy are never enough,” he continues. “She’s such an ungrateful wife!”
What he doesn’t understand is that an unappreciative wife who does not acknowledge her husband’s efforts to contribute to the family’s well-being is one of the signs of a disrespectful wife.
3. Your wife never listens to you
When one has lost respect for one’s spouse, it is not unusual for them to stop listening to you.
Ignoring your attempts at communication is a passive-aggressive way to show a lack of respect as if what you have to say is not worth tuning into.
It is very hurtful to be met with this type of behavior, as it can make you feel like your opinions are not valuable.
4. Your wife neglects her household responsibilities
The housework goes undone, and the place is a mess. Laundry is left in the dryer; dishes stack up in the sink, the garbage can is overflowing.
You come home from work, look around at the chaos in the house, and say to yourself, “My wife doesn’t respect me. If she did, she would at least do her part of the household chores so that when I get home from work, I don’t have to take care of everything at home then.”
Not keeping up her part of what makes a marriage run smoothly is one of the signs of a disrespectful wife.
5. Your wife makes no time for you
One of the sure signs your wife doesn’t respect you is when she is constantly on her phone, computer, or tablet or watching the latest series on television instead of interacting with you.
She prefers to spend her weekends with her friends. All of these actions take time away from your couple. You feel like you are no longer a priority in her life.
6. Your wife does not acknowledge what you bring to the marriage
Your latest promotion, the work you do around the house, taking her car to the mechanic for a tune-up – she does not congratulate you on your accomplishments, nor does she thank you for your caring tasks.
7. Your wife belittles you
Whether in public or private, she cuts you down and makes you feel lower than an earthworm!
Despite being a perfectly able person, she makes you feel worthless and makes you doubt your competency.
If this is happening to you, by now, you should know that you are living with a disrespectful wife.
8. Your wife is difficult
Living with a difficult wife is taxing on the spirit. You never know what she is going to do next.
You cannot please her. She will criticize you, your friends, and your family. And, forget discussing critical issues; even talking about simple day-to-day things with her isn’t easy!
9. Your wife treats you as if it doesn’t matter if you stay or go
She will keep the television on when you attempt to talk with her or continue on her phone call.
When you leave for work in the morning, she doesn’t bother to even get out of bed to say goodbye, let alone kiss you and wish you a good day.
10. Your wife is stubborn
Stubbornness is one of the signs of a disrespectful wife that is very hard to mitigate. To deal with a stubborn wife who is so set in her ways is a struggle.
She thinks it is her way or the highway, that she is always right and you are wrong.
11. Your wife exhibits disrespectful behavior on her social media
She flirts with old boyfriends on her Facebook and poses inappropriately on her Instagram feed.
Having fun-filled conversations with friends or having a healthy relationship with an ex isn’t wrong, but there are boundaries.
If she continues to behave in an inappropriate way, despite you objecting to it, it is certainly disrespectful behavior from her end.
12. Your wife flirts with other men in front of you
“My wife openly flirts with waiters, salesmen, and the barista at our coffee place. I cannot bear her flirtatious behavior,” says one man who is dealing with a disrespectful wife.
When a wife exhibits seductive behavior in your presence, the impact can be devastating, making you feel like you are not manly enough to keep her satisfied and interested in you.
Shamelessly flirting with others indicates a lack of respect between husband and wife and should not be tolerated. It can act as one of the clear signs of a wife who is losing respect for her husband.
13. Your wife degrades your friends and family
She never has a kind word to say about your best friend. It isn’t just about any specific person. She generally hates your parents and siblings or any other person close to you.
She may go so far as to refuse to attend any of your side of the family’s events.
14. She gives you a cold shoulder
If she doesn’t agree with something you said, she is capable of giving you the cold shoulder for days at a time.
Even if you try to apologize or resolve the issues, she will prefer sulking and continue giving you the silent treatment. All these are the signs of a disrespectful wife in a marriage.
15. Your wife does not know the meaning of compromise
This is part of her stubborn nature. You either have to do things her way, or you don’t do them at all. There is no meeting in the middle nor any effort to negotiate a win-win situation.
16. Your wife is emotionally manipulative
To get what she wants, she will use manipulative methods, including threats, guilt trips, spreading lies about you, or other inappropriate behaviors, all to force you to do what she wants.
Being manipulative is indeed one of the signs of being disrespectful towards a person.
17. Your wife points to others’ marriages as better than yours
If she continually voices her envy about other couples’ relationships, saying, “Why can’t we be like them?” This is another sign of a disrespectful wife.
It is okay to appreciate other happy couples around you. But, comparing it with other couples, despite you trying your best to keep her happy, certainly is disrespectful.
18. You haven’t had any sexual intimacy in ages
You haven’t gone to bed together in a long time, and you can’t even remember the last time you had sex!
She stays up late, watching television or playing games on her computer. You find yourself in bed, alone, night after night.
19. When you do talk, all she does is complain
You haven’t had a meaningful conversation for a long time. Each time you open up to her, you are met with a litany of complaints.
All these are the signs of a disrespectful wife that you mustn’t ignore. If her attitude is affecting your self-esteem and mental health, perhaps you must seek professional counseling.
20.Your wife undermines you
You ask her to do something, and your request will be ignored.
Or, worse, she will do the opposite as if she was deliberately trying to make you mad. If you notice any of it, you know what you are supposed to conclude!
21. She doesn’t take your feelings seriously
This sign refers to the wife’s tendency to downplay or ignore her husband’s emotions and concerns, making him feel unheard and invalidated.
For example, if a husband expresses his anxiety about an upcoming job interview and his wife responds with, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing; it’s just an interview,” she is not taking his feelings seriously. This can leave him feeling dismissed and unsupported, which can strain the relationship.
22. She engages in financial secrecy
If you are looking at how to tell if your wife is disrespecting you, try to assess her openness in discussing her finances with you.
If your wife hides financial matters from you, such as spending without your knowledge, keeping separate bank accounts, or making major financial decisions unilaterally, it can be a sign of disrespect in a marriage.
23. She gaslights you
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a person deliberately distorts their partner’s perception of reality, making them question their memory, feelings, or sanity.
For example, if a wife denies saying hurtful things that she clearly said and then insists her partner is imagining it, it can make the partner doubt their own recollection and sanity.
This form of emotional abuse can lead to profound self-doubt, confusion, and a diminished sense of self-worth as the victim becomes uncertain about their own reality and judgment.
24. She disregards your boundaries
A disrespectful wife may constantly push your boundaries, whether it’s invading your personal space, reading your private messages, or interfering with your social life, showing a lack of respect for your personal boundaries.
25. She blames you for everything
If your wife consistently places blame on you for every issue or problem in the relationship, refusing to take responsibility for her actions or contributions to conflicts, it can create an unhealthy dynamic and indicate a lack of respect.
It’s important to remember that disrespect in a relationship can take many forms, and each situation is unique.
If you notice several of these signs and they are causing distress in your marriage, it’s advisable to seek open and honest communication with your spouse and consider couples counseling to address the issues and work toward a healthier relationship.
Why does my wife disrespect me?
Do you often say to people around you that my wife doesn’t respect me? But why does she disrespect you?
This is an important question to ask, and it is the starting point of being able to identify issues in order to be able to move towards a productive dialogue on why a wife disrespects her husband.
Psychologist Kenneth T. Wang suggests,
When confronted with signs of disrespect, the first step is to employ ‘I-messages’ – a compassionate and assertive tool. Convey your own feelings of being disrespected and genuinely inquire about potential interactions that triggered your partner’s emotions. This a bridge for better understanding and growth towards a stronger and healthier relationship.
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Have an open conversation to unearth the reason
To find out why your wife disrespects you, start with a conversation. It will be a difficult conversation and one that needs to be managed with great care.
It may be beneficial to consult a marriage counselor who has the expertise to guide you and your wife through the process of uncovering the sources of her disrespect.
When a wife insults her husband, there is a history behind this anger. When a wife undermines her husband, there is something brewing beneath her behavior.
Working with a marriage counselor can be vital. With a counselor, you and your wife have a safe space to reveal your emotions and reactions. The counselor will help keep the conversation on track.
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Get to the root of the problems to understand the reason
“My wife is rude and disrespectful,” one husband revealed during a marriage therapy session. “Can we explore what is provoking this behavior?”
The wife, in turn, revealed that she felt very alone in the marriage, almost invisible. Their relationship over the years had devolved into more of an exchange than a loving, supportive partnership.
The early days were filled with romance and good talks; time is taken to be together emotionally and physically.
But as the years went on, the wife felt less and less important. Her reaction was to turn into an arrogant wife, one that showed her disdain for her spouse with signs of disrespect in marriage.
Because the husband felt his wife treated him like crap, he reacted by not engaging with her. He felt that if he did not engage, he could not be the victim of her disrespect. He no longer wanted to deal with a stubborn wife. So he checked out.
A vicious cycle was created: he avoided interacting with her, she felt ignored, she degraded her husband to spark a reaction (and feel “seen”), and he wondered, “Why is my wife so mean?”
Apart from these two tips to decipher the reason behind why your wife is being disrespectful towards you, here are a few common reasons why wives disrespect their spouses.
- If a spouse is disrespectful, their wife ought to be disrespectful towards them!
- A wife disrespects a husband when she is no longer interested in the marriage.
- When a wife is having an extra-marital affair, she inadvertently disrespects her spouse.
- When a wife has some underlying issues that she is unable to express freely, it often comes out as disrespect toward the spouse
- When a wife has a better career or earns more money, she tends to disrespect the spouse.
These are some of the many reasons for lack of respect in a marriage. Use these tips to find out what reason holds true in your relationship.
You may also seek a counselor’s help to navigate you through this perplexing situation.
10 ways to deal with a disrespectful wife
What to do when your wife disrespects you? How to deal with a disrespectful wife?
You are not condemned to living your life with a disrespectful wife. There are some techniques you can use to engage with her and talk about the situation.
Read on for some essential tips to help you deal with your wife.
1. Do not take her disrespect personally
Her behavior is hers. It is normal for you to think you are doing something wrong, but avoid feeling offended. Her reaction is hers.
Keep that thought in your mind as you shape the conversation you wish to have with her about her disrespect.
2. Pick the time for the dialogue
You certainly don’t want to enter into the discussion in the heat of the moment.
In the morning, you might tell her that you’d like to have a heart-to-heart talk later, preparing the groundwork. Invite her out to dinner so that she will be distraction-free.
3. Start with focusing on her, not you
“I can sense some anger. Can you tell me about where that is coming from?” might be a good opening question.
Your wife might get pleasantly surprised and react passively instead.
4. Ask her what she needs to feel respect towards you
Again, the focus is on her needs. This sends a message that she is important to you, and you want her to be happy.
Of course, nothing is going to change all of a sudden. But, if you keep practicing this regularly, she might mellow down over a period of time.
5. Ask your wife if she would be open to going to a marriage counselor
You don’t have to force her into it. You two can even opt for couple counseling.
This way, you can communicate to her that you value the relationship above everything else and that you, too, are willing to make changes in your attitude for the greater good of the relationship.
6. Ask her to determine the issues openly
Tell her you are invested in the health of your relationship, and you want to make things work between you.
Ask her if she can identify concrete issues that you and she could work on.
7. Be ready to devote several conversations to this process
Your marriage cannot be fixed with one date night or one session with a therapist.
You need to have immense patience and appreciate your wife even if she shows little signs of improvement.
8. Try to be more vulnerable with each other
Wondering what to do if your wife is disrespectful? Be ready to hear her truths, and even you need to start being vulnerable. Opening up to each other will promote healing.
Even this will be a very slow process. And practice vulnerability only when you feel that the time is right.
9. Ask your wife for clarity
If your wife says things that you don’t understand completely, ask her for clarity. Never assume what she is trying to say.
Assumptions are one of the biggest relationship destroyers!
Watch this video to learn more about how to create boundaries and ensure clarity within a relationship:
10. Be ready to move on if required
Learning how to get out of a disrespectful marriage sends a message that you will not tolerate inappropriate, disrespectful behavior. You cannot go on and on if nothing that is suggested above works for you.
You must definitely learn how to save a disrespectful marriage. But, despite your best efforts, if the relationship continues to be unhealthy, perhaps you need to move on.
Wrapping up
In every relationship, the two people yearn to be seen, heard, and understood. Often, a wife’s disrespectful behavior is a hidden cry for attention.
By taking the time to go deeply into the whys behind your wife’s signs of disrespect, there is hope for healing and a new chapter in your relationship.
Also, if you find the reasons behind her disrespectful behavior to be unjustified, don’t let your mental health go for a toss. Seek professional advice to make a decision in the best interest of your health and relationship.
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