Are You Being Objectified by Your Partner? 15 Signs

To be adored as an object to fulfill someone’s needs is devastating. Your self-esteem takes a battering as you’re reduced to being simply a toy. Nevertheless, the signs you’re being objectified can be subtle. It doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Listen to your gut as you read through those signs. 

15 signs you’re being objectified by your partner 

What does it mean to objectify someone? The simple answer is that a person becomes an object in the observer’s eyes. They no longer have the wealth of values and strengths that make up a human being. They are quite simply an object to satisfy someone’s appetite. 

As you can imagine, this has a disastrous impact on how you view yourself. The signs you’re being objectified aren’t just mentally destructive. They can also lead to self-objectification.

As the objectification theory explains, a culture that objectifies the female body, for example, influences women to view themselves that way. They start judging their bodies through the eyes of others, which eventually leads to shame. 

The good news is that you can look out for the signs you’re being objectified and then decide what to do. You can either confront the person or establish good boundaries. Don’t forget that you always have the choice to walk away from those who damage you mentally. 

1. Too much focus on sex 

The obvious sexual objectification meaning is that someone is using you for sex. You can spot this pretty quickly if a potential partner pushes you too quickly into having sex. Even before that, the signs you’re being objectified are that they talk too much about sex and your body. 

Attraction vs. objectification isn’t always easy to spot. Of course, we like potential partners because of their looks. Then again, there’s a difference between someone who can’t stop thinking about sex versus someone who wants to hear your life story. 

Also Try: Does He Like Me or Just Wants Sex Quiz

2. You only ever get sexy underwear

To define sexual objectification, you need to understand that this is both about sex and about stripping people of their humanity. They become sexual objects to satisfy their observer’s hunger. 

Interestingly, researchers still debate whether sexual objectification is harmful. This analysis explains that this is very much about context. Naturally, you can role-play during sex, but the demeaning nature of treating someone as an object should have boundaries.

You yourself know how you feel when you experience the signs you’re being objectified. For example, if all your partner can ever think of buying you is lingerie. Every now and again is fine, but at some point, you want to show off your presents to others.

3. They brag about you as a trophy

Objectification in a relationship can make you feel unworthy. You’re only a trophy that your partner shows off rather than a life partner. Deep relationships are based on a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and feelings.

When you’re a trophy, no one listens to your needs. You’re simply a status symbol because of how you look. Although, you can also be objectified for your money or connections. It isn’t always about looks. Either way, the signs you’re being objectified are that you’re being used. 

4. Ignored feelings and needs 

Essentially, the signs you’re being objectified are that you’re treated as if you’re just body parts. Nevertheless, the question “what does it mean to objectify someone” is much more complex. It also relates to what makes us human.

Humans are a complex mix of body, mind, and heart. Our thoughts and emotions add richness to who we are as individuals. When this is ignored, as in the signs you’re being objectified, you lose what it means to be human. 

Related Reading: 10 Things to Do if You Feel Unappreciated in a Relationship

5. To serve their purposes

The standard objectification definition is that you are an object to serve someone else. Women tend to suffer most objectification,  although it can happen to men. The media is part of this trend, although some companies have started changing how they portray women in their ads. 

The darker side of being objectified is that it’s often motivated by the need for power. This study shows that when men’s social status is under threat, such as reporting to a female boss, this can trigger objectification.  

6. They give you labels

Some common signs you’re being objectified are when you simply serve a role. You could be the mother of his kids or the emotional one. Either way, you’re being pigeonholed and not allowed to assert yourself for who you are. 

7. Tell you what to do with your body 

What is objectification if not possession? We own objects, and they don’t have a will of their own. Essentially, the other person thinks it’s ok to tell you what to do with your body and your clothes when they objectify you. 

8. Only focus on your looks 

The sexual objectification meaning is simple. It all comes down to one question: “are they using you for sex?” You’ll know instinctively by how they look at you but also what they talk about. Only ever focusing on your body and not asking about your opinions is a giveaway. 

How to stop being objectified is to remember that no one owns you, and it’s important to establish boundaries and explain what’s ok and what’s not. How people speak to us says a lot about how they view us. You need to point this out to establish your respect when faced with the signs you’re being objectified.

9. No sexual boundaries 

How to stop being objectified lies in establishing boundaries. By contrast, the signs you’re being objectified are when someone thinks it’s ok to touch you anywhere and without consent. 

If you want to know more about how to set sexual boundaries, listen to this psychotherapist who has some very practical advice:

10. Criticizes your body 

When you define sexual objectification, you also have to consider that it can include the negatives about your body. Perhaps your partner complains about your stomach or thighs? Maybe they don’t want to touch them, or even worse, they flinch away from them. 

Essentially, they want your body to be perfect rather than loving you for who you are. 

11.  Overly chivalrous 

Objectification in a relationship can sometimes come across when someone is overly attentive. If they treat you like a porcelain doll with no autonomy or strengths, chances are they think of you as that doll.

12. Other people are objects 

The objectification definition doesn’t have to be just about one person. The signs you’re being objectified can also be for other people. In fact, people have patterns of behaviors, and if they’re objectifying you, they’re probably doing it with others. 

So, listen to how they comment on celebrities or your friends for clues. Do they respect them as individual people, or do they simply see headless bodies floating past? 

13. No real conversations

The signs you’re being objectified are clear in how people communicate. If they respect you as a whole person, they want to have intimate conversations with you. They want to hear about your feelings and desires in life. 

14. Ignores your strengths 

Everyone has something to offer in a relationship. We all have attributes and qualities such as playfulness and a sense of adventure. Attraction vs. objectification highlights those qualities as you explore together how your strengths complement each other.

On the flip side, you’re most likely being objectified when a relationship feels flat or one-sided. They don’t show any interest in your other non-physical qualities. You’re simply an object to pass the time. 

15. They are center-stage 

Examples of objectification all lie in how the observer sees themself. If everything is about them and how to satisfy their needs, you’re most probably being objectified. 

The worst part is that they might not even be aware of it. They might think they’re showing interest in you when they ask you questions. Nevertheless, for objectifies, it’s actually a subconscious way to find out how you can meet their needs. 

Related Reading: 12 Red-Flag Signs of a Selfish Partner

Concluding thoughts 

The question “what is objectification” is actually quite simple. It’s when someone views another person as an object to meet their needs. It essentially strips that person’s humanness and ignores all their needs, feelings, and desires.

Despite our so-called progress, most of our cultures still objectify women, especially in the media. Sadly, this influences many women to self-objectification because they take on the belief as their own. This then leads to self-judgment and crushed self-esteem because they judge themselves through other people.

Examples of objectification are when people are labeled and seen as body parts. Their boundaries are violated, and they aren’t seen as unique individuals. Instead, avoid the signs you’re being objectified by establishing boundaries to how you want to be treated and spoken to. 

It can be useful to work with a therapist when in doubt. Everyone deserves to be seen as the beautiful human being they are.

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Anne Duvaux Coach

Anne’s passion and purpose in life are to guide people to find their own path and contentment by learning about themselves. Only then can we build and nurture the deep connections we all deserve to have. With a background in psychology and neuroscience coaching, she has helped countless couples... Read more transform their communication from aggression to assertiveness and appreciation.   She is both an ICF certified coach and mindfulness-certified, while being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers a holistic approach. You can expect to transform your view of yourself, your relationship, and the world by better understanding the habits of your mind and letting go of the unhelpful ones. You have power over your mind but you don’t have to do it alone. Read less

(Anne Duvaux is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Naperville)