Relationships are hard to navigate, and even harder to be secure in. It’s only natural to have moments of doubt and uncertainty, and feelings of vulnerability. However, there might be some foreshadowing signs of break up that can help you estimate your relationship.
Sometimes you might feel like you’re reading too much into these signs, but your gut is telling you to keep an eye out, something is wrong.
If you’re having trouble telling what could be a sign someone is about to break up with you, then read on for some insightful tips on what to look out for.
1. There’s a growing distance between you
People usually tend to distance themselves if they’re unhappy, feel doubtful, or are uncomfortable. It’s best to let your partner bridge the gap on their own. But it could also spell the end of your relationship and is a sign your partner wants to break up.
2. They stop doing things for you
A relationship is a give and take. It’s an unspoken commitment to put in effort and do things for each other. If you’ve noticed that your partner has stopped putting in effort to make you happy, then it’s one of many break up signs in a relationship.
Psychologists often talk about the importance of reciprocity in relationships, and how it usually stops if one person in the relationships either thinks lowly of their partner or no longer cares about them. No wonder this is a sign to break up.
3. They make up excuses
A sign your boyfriend wants to break up is if he starts making up excuses for why he can’t meet you. These excuses start out small, but slowly it starts to get more common and you realize that he’s making up fake excuses.
People only make up excuses if they are no longer interested. If you realize that he’s actively avoiding being with you without communicating honestly or genuinely, then it is a sign that he wants to end the relationship.
4. They keep picking fights with you
A sign your girlfriend wants to break up is if she starts getting angry at every small thing. She’s irritable and always annoyed. And she takes it out on you. If this sounds familiar, then it probably means she is unhappy in the relationship and is thinking of leaving it entirely.
5. They talk about breaking up repeatedly
You might notice that your partner keeps bringing up the subject of ending the relationship. If a minor inconvenience occurs, they immediately try to break up with you. They’re just looking for attention and not a stable relationship, and could be a sign someone is going to break up with you.
6. They stop responding to your texts
You can’t help but notice that they take a long time to reply or call you back. Not being able to get in touch with your partner can be frustrating — and a sign that something is going on with them.
If they are usually on their phone, texting other people, or posting on social media, but continue to ignore your texts and calls, it’s a sign of a breakup that will come soon enough.
7. They’ve stopped paying you attention
The compliments are running low. Your partner no longer notices you, doesn’t seem to even care if you’re going through a hard time. There’s a disconnect and you realize that your partner is indifferent about you lately. That could be signs he’s going to break up with you.
Nothing you do for them (or even in your own life) is correct according to your partner. They are constantly admonishing you, putting you down, or insulting your ability to do things right. This could be signs of breaking up.
It could also be a sign that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. Abandonment is a common part of a narcissistic relationship cycle. This video goes into more detail about what the phases of a narcissistic relationship looks like:
10. They don’t like making future plans with you
A sign that she wants to end the relationship is if she gets hesitant about making any plans with you about your future, especially if they were excited about it in the beginning of the relationship. A sudden change in their views about the future could be signs a breakup is near.
11. You’re both realizing you want different things
You might be asking yourself “are we going to break up” possibly due to recent fights or realizations that you both want different things. If you and your partner are not ready to compromise or adapt to each other, then it could be a sign to break up.
They come over to spend time with you, but instead are on their phone the whole time or just slump down in front of the TV. If they are no longer paying attention to you or even trying to give you their time and energy, then it could be one of many break up signs in a relationship.
13. They make plans with other people
They are too busy to spend time with you, but they post pictures of parties with other people. This is one of the most telltale signs of a breakup drawing near. If this is getting more frequent, then it’s time to move on and realize that things have changed.
If you realize that your partner is getting reluctant to get in bed with you, or no longer enjoys the things she once did, it could mean she wants to end the relationship and no longer feels invested in it.
The casual intimacy and comfort level that was once a part of your relationship no longer exists. You’ve realized that your partner gets uncomfortable around you and no longer acts the way they used to. When casual, informal behavior goes out the window, so does the relationship.
16. There is a shift in priorities
In healthy relationships, partners need to make each other their number-one priority. The minute this stops happening foreshadows signs of break up. If you’ve noticed that he’s started to put his friends or work ahead of you, it could be one of many signs he wants to break up.
17. Your partner is starting to show interest in other people
One of the biggest signs of break up in the future is if your partner starts talking about other people they’re attracted to. This could be their way of subtly hinting that you should prepare for a break up because they are looking for other people.
18. Your partner is unhappy
If you’ve noticed that your partner no longer laughs as much as they used to, or no longer likes doing the things they once enjoyed, it could be because they are unhappy in the relationship. Depressed people are more likely to end their relationships than other people.
This article goes into more depth about how depression can influence break ups. Asking questions like “Are you breaking up because of your mental health or because you no longer want to be with me?” can help them distinguish their feelings before ending a relationship that could help them.
19. They don’t seem to enjoy spending time with you
If they are no longer excited to meet up with you and keep trying to find a reason to get out early, it could be a sign that something is wrong. If your partner doesn’t like spending time with you, it’s likely because something (or someone) is on their mind, and a sign of breakup to come.
20. They’re always comparing you to other people
“She’s prettier than you”, “Why can’t you be as relaxed as him?” — if these phrases sound familiar, then it could be possible that your partner is rethinking their decision to be with you. Comparing your partner to someone else is manipulative, and spell a sign of break up.
21. Trust your gut
More often than not your instinct is telling you things to watch out for. If your gut is telling you that something is not right in your relationship, it could very well be a sign someone is going to break up with you.
You could notice just one or many of these signs. Being mentally and emotionally prepared for a break up can help you stay strong and realize that you deserve to be treated better. Sometimes break ups happen for the best — so knowing where your relationship is heading can be helpful.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.