If Relationships Are Hard Then Why Do We Still Yearn for It?

Marriage.com Editorial Team

Expertise: Relationship & Marriage Advice

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Updated: 21 May, 2023

Table of Contents

Love yourself first, so you can bring authentic confidence to your relationship and deepen closeness.
Open communication strengthens trust by sharing doubts and feelings with care, so both partners feel seen.
Choose daily commitment, meet halfway, respect differences, and let love deepen your bond.

It’s not at all surprising to hear comments about how relationships are hard especially from those who are going through a tough time fixing or even fighting for their relationships.

In fact, most of us would even agree that maintaining a good relationship is indeed a challenge.

Isn’t it funny how we hear about the different sad truths about being in a relationship and how it’s draining or toxic yet these same people would still give it another try? If relationships are so hard to maintain then why do we still yearn for it?

Why relationships are hard?

You meet someone, you click and fall in love, then you move in or even get married and that’s your happily ever after – not!

Real relationships aren’t like this and will never be like this unless you want to be daydreaming all your life. Real relationships are about two very different persons falling in love and getting into a relationship where both commit to make each other happy and be better as the relationship grow. However, even this reality may seem so hard at times.

Why are relationships so hard? What if the person you chose to love suffers from narcissism? What if that person is full of insecurities and jealousy? What if you found out that this person cheats? What if you always find yourself fighting with this person?

Sadly, many relationships fail not because they don’t love each other but because there are things that, no matter how much you fight for it – will never work out. The main question here is, why are relationships so hard to maintain?

Relationships are hard because you and your partner are two different people and you don’t think the same. Two very different individuals who need to adjust and meet half way but most of the time, this doesn’t happen. When one refuses growth and change or when one realizes that they are not ready to commit – ultimately, a relationship fails.

Reasons why we still fall in love

All of us may have had our own share of wrong relationships and might even have told ourselves, relationships are hard and we’ll never fall in love again but then you find yourself falling deeply in love all over again.

Funny but true! Sometimes, we ask ourselves, are relationships supposed to be hard? Some people might even start blaming themselves or asking if there is something wrong with them but we have to understand that even if relationships are hard, it’s beautiful too. This is the reason why even if we have traumatic or sad love stories, we still give love another try.

Love is beautiful and it makes life meaningful. Can you imagine your life without love? We can’t, right? Relationships are hard but worth it. You may have broken your heart more than you can imagine but to give up on love and relationships isn’t something to think about. We still fall in love because it’s a vital part of life. We fall in love again because it makes us feel alive and maybe because one of our purpose here is to find our one true love – our lifetime companion.

Another try – Making it better

While we understand the fact that relationships are hard, we ought to ask ourselves too especially when we’re in a new relationship as to what we can do to make it better. When we risk our hearts again and fall in love, sometimes, we become so cautious that it may seem that we’re so scared of losing this person but again, we don’t know how our partner thinks or what they think so it’s still hard to maintain a relationship with this mindset.

So, how do you make a relationship better?

5 things all healthy relationships have

Are all relationships hard to maintain?

Yes, every relationship is a challenge but even if it is hard to maintain, it’s definitely not impossible. Your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect because there’s no such thing; it just has to be healthy for it to work out. Take it as a challenge and make sure that you have these 5 ingredients to a healthy relationship.

1. Love yourself

As they say, everything starts with us and this goes the same with our relationships. Before you can love another person, you must love yourself first. You can’t be in a healthy relationship if you don’t even love your own self. Be brave to face another chance in love as a stronger, confident, and matured person.

2. Build trust

We’ve heard this many times before but it’s still a great reminder to have trust in your relationship. One common misconception is that you have to trust your partner and that’s it. However, one must remember that this still begins with us.

A confident person who is matured enough will trust easily and will brush off unnecessary doubts and insecurities.

3. Honesty

Relationships are hard but if you are both committed to the relationship, then it’s normal to work on honesty. You don’t want your partner to have doubts and you believe in being all transparent – do this and your relationship will be better.

4. Open communication

Love is beautiful and it’s just right that we do everything to make it work out. Communicate with your partner and this isn’t just about talking but rather about opening your soul to this person.

If you want this person to be in your life then start by opening yourself in terms of talking. Feel free to say your thoughts, your doubts, and even if you are upset. This will start a good practice that will make any relationship better.

5. Commitment

If you want to make a relationship work – commit. There will be big differences between the two of you but be willing to work things out, meet half way even and of course, respect each other’s opinion. This way, both of you will feel your importance in the relationship.

Relationships are hard? Yes, definitely but having a healthy relationship isn’t impossible either. Take this as a challenge to be better not just as a partner but as a person. Love is too beautiful for you to give up so don’t. Work on a better relationship that can last a lifetime.

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Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less