In an interesting article written by Mark Manson, he found out from asking over 1500 people for their best relationship advice that every successful relationship is successful for the same reasons and you’ll be pleased to know that there are only thirteen of these reasons.
This means that we can now simplify relationships and make every single one successful!
At first glance, thirteen secrets behind every successful relationship seem rather simplistic. But then, when you read through the reasons below you soon see that pretty much every problem is covered and while we will only be briefly discussing each of the 13 reasons why every successful relationship is successful for the same reasons here, each reason is a deep and very valid topic.
So if you want to make your relationship successful, make these thirteen reasons why every successful relationship is successful your mantra for life, and you’ll probably find that your love life (as well as all other relationships you have) is sweet.
1. Be together fоr the rіght rеаѕоnѕ
An obvious statement!
But, how many people stay in relationships because they are co-dependent, have issues, or avoid having to face the world because they’ve found someone comfortable?
There are many. So, it’s important in this step to understand what the right reasons for being with somebody are which some people may need to figure out beforehand.
So if you find that you are with someone because:
You and your pаrtnеr will grоw and chаngе in unеxресtеd wауѕ – embrасе it
- You’ve been pressured or obligated into it.
- To look ‘cool.’
- For money, fame, kudos.
- For safety or security
- For children
- Because they are the only person you feel will want you.
Then all of the above is most definitely the wrong reasons, and your relationship will not be successful. If this is you, it’s time to reconsider your priorities, heal yourself and find somebody for the right reasons.
2. Have rеаlіѕtіс exресtаtіоnѕ abоut rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ and romance
We can all be guilty of having unrealistic expectations about love and relationships.
But when we get real and realize that there is no happily ever after, that things don’t just automatically run smoothly, and that relationships take work, not just on the relationship itself but on yourself as you evolve in life and the relationship, then only magical things can happen.
This aspect of relationships is so often overlooked and usually assumed – take it from the 1500 people who are in a successful relationship.
Having unrealistic expectations in a marriage doesn’t work!
3. Thе mоѕt imроrtаnt fасtоr in a relationship Iѕ not cоmmunісаtіоn, but rеѕресt
Respect for yourself and respect for your partner are crucial in a relationship.
If you have this nailed, the communication and relationship that ensues can only be good because it will automatically promote trust and intimacy. Let’s face it; if someone respects you, they are going to treat you right.
4. Tаlk oреnlу abоut evеrуthіng, especially thе stuff that hurts
Communication might not be as high up on the list of priorities as entering into a relationship for the right reasons or respect, but it’s crucial nonetheless.
Don’t sweep the tough stuff under the carpet – take it from 1500 people who are walking on the path you desire. They all say that talking openly is the secret to a successful relationship.
5. A hеаlthу rеlаtіоnѕhір mеаnѕ twо hеаlthу indіvіduаlѕ
Being healthy individuals means not just being healthy in body but also mind spirit, and emotions.
Like attracts like and if you are not healthy in any way you will attract the wrong person or sabotage your relationship.
This is the reasons why it’s always important to face and fix the hard stuff (which is entirely possible for anyone) and also to work on your personal development and self-care as a matter of priority.
6. Gіvе eасh othеr space
Time out or away from anything and anyone is always beneficial.
It creates a new perspective, allows new energy to flow and is vital for a successful relationship – 1500 people can’t be wrong, can they?
7. People find change to be difficult, but it’s inevitable
Try giving each other the space to grow and enjoy the changes, do this, and you won’t become stagnant.
8. Gеt good at fighting
We don’t mean that you should be the best at winning a fight. We mean fight fairly, learn how to communicate respectfully in your fight, learn how to repair afterward.
The Gottman Institute calls the necessary repair process in a relationship – repair attempts, and there’s a certain strategy to it which is well worth checking out – it’s great advice.
9. Gеt gооd at fоrgіvіng
Enough said, of course, respect has to be present otherwise you won’t stand by your boundaries and will forgive the things you shouldn’t be forgiving. But, if respect is present, you have to let things go a lot of the time – and it’s good practice to do so.
10. Thе lіttlе things add uр tо bіg thіngѕ
Keep on criticizing your partner (in your head, or out loud), and it will build up into a big problem in your relationship.
Keep on admiring your partner (in your head or out loud and it will build up) and it will build up to a big advantage in your relationship. Watch the small stuff and make sure that you are correcting any negative patterns before they build up to a big problem.
11. Sеx matters… a LOT!
Make sex a priority, so many people don’t, and it destroys the intimacy in a relationship.
Learn how to enjoy sex and intimacy, learn how to communicate about sex with your partner and understand how to enjoy sex for the natural and loving act it is.
12. Bе practical, and create rеlаtіоnѕhір rulеѕ
It might be boring, but if you both know where you stand and you agree on the rules, then it avoids potentially irreparable damage.
All that is required is the negotiation and respect of boundaries that should be there in the first place.
13. Lеаrn to rіdе thе wаvеѕ
No marriage is perfect 100% of the time. Most successful relationships hit the rocks occasionally or have to go through dark times.
But equally, most people do not always embrace or stay present in the good times of which there will also be many. Ride the waves of your relationship and it will serve you well.
Remember that things pass! It is true, they may not always be the same after some events but good times come again always.