How to Deal with Midlife Crisis and Get over Your Marriage Problems

A midlife crisis in marriage can occur in both men and women. The crisis may be slightly different when comparing the two, but no one is exempt from experiencing a midlife crisis in marriage.

This crisis is one that involves a lot of emotions and includes an identity crisis or a crisis of self-confidence. A midlife crisis can occur when a person is middle-aged, between 30 and 50 years old.

There are many different marriage problems spouses can experience during this time. So, can a marriage survive a midlife crisis?

Although the midlife crisis and marriage happen to co-exist in several cases, it is not impossible to solve the middle age marriage issues. If love prevails in your relationship and you have the will to save your marriage, you can pre-empt marriage breakdown.

So, if you have come across the stages of midlife crisis affairs, here is a little insight into the different ways a midlife crisis affects a marriage, how to deal with a midlife crisis and overcome the middle-age relationship problems.

Questioning oneself

Marriage problems in a midlife crisis often involve a lot of questions.

A spouse can begin to question themselves and wonder if the life they lead is all that there is in life, and they may start to want something more.

A person may question themselves about why they are doing the things they are doing and consider their needs a lot more than they have been. Some people do not recognize who they are any more or what or who they have become.

In other situations, a spouse may wonder and question themselves about why they waited so long to get out and live their life.

Making comparisons

Comparisons are another occurrence. A lot of people want to know, can marriages survive the midlife crisis, and the answer is yes. A midlife crisis destroying your marriage is a common fear of many married couples, but there is a way around a lot of these problems.

As far as comparisons are concerned, you or your spouse may begin to compare yourself to successful people you know, such as friends, relatives, and co-workers or people you see in a movie, or strangers you seem to notice when you are out running errands.

When this happens, a spouse may begin to feel less than, self-conscious, or experience a strong sense of regret. This can make a person focus solely on themselves or cause them to go “soul searching,” leaving everything and everyone behind.

Feeling exhausted

Being exhausted is a common problem that can cause a midlife crisis in marriage.

When a person is exhausted, they may continue to endure their daily routine, but they are operating on fumes. It is similar to a vehicle that is running out of gas. You can continue to accelerate, but once the gas is gone, you will need to refill the gas tank.

A person who is exhausted has continued to go and push every day until they can no longer function. They need to refuel by allowing their body and mind to rest and relax.

When a midlife crisis in marriage occurs everything a person ever thought of will be questioned, regardless if it was something they did when they were six years old or something they did as recently as yesterday. Every situation and every detail will be considered.

This can be an issue in marriage because these instances will be all a person talks about, and the spouse will become tired of hearing about the same situations leading them to become frustrated and aggravated. The condition of the midlife crisis in marriage can escalate from there.

Make drastic changes

Drastic changes in a midlife crisis are often referred to as an identity crisis within a midlife crisis in marriage.

You may notice that your spouse is eager to lose weight or go back to their old ways in high school. A lot of people talk about their days in high school and the things they remember about it, but this is not a midlife crisis in identity.

When an identity midlife crisis occurs, the situation will be sudden and urgent. Your spouse may talk about joining their friends from high school or wanting to lose weight and get in shape, and they will act upon their thoughts.

This is where the problem sets in for many married couples. A spouse may start going out more to bars or clubs with their high school friends and harp on losing weight to become more attractive.

When this happens, a person can become jealous and start to feel as if their relationship is falling apart. Since these changes are sudden and often occur without warning, a spouse can feel they lack attention or emotional support.

How to handle a midlife crisis in marriage

Identify the signs

Dealing with a midlife crisis in marriage won’t be as easy as falling off a log, but that does not mean it is not worth considering.

The foremost thing is to identify the glaring signs of middle age marriage problems.

Don’t run away from the problems

When you have observed in your husband, midlife crisis stages or you have detected the signs of a midlife crisis in a woman, rather than running away or ruining your relationship, the situation calls for your action.

Extend your support

One of the best things you can do to get over your marriage problems is trying your best to be there for your spouse and extend your unlimited support to them.

Your spouse will be able to get over the issues with your selfless love and appreciate your effort in this challenging time. Nevertheless, this is not magic, and it might take a big deal of time to get over this mid-life crisis in marriage.

Go for midlife crisis counseling

If you are still not sure about how to help your wife or how to help your husband through a midlife crisis, consider going for midlife crisis counseling. Some couples greatly benefit from counseling and therapy. 

If you plan on taking this course of action as a solution for a midlife crisis in your marriage, you both must attend therapy or counseling and work through any marriage problems you are having in your marriage together.

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Kaida Hollister Author

Kaida Hollister is a passionate relationship writer, renowned for her ability to shed light on the intricacies of love and human connection. With a deep understanding of psychology and personal growth, she has become known for her... Read more insightful and engaging writing on these subjects. When she’s not busy crafting thought-provoking articles, Kaida can often be found pursuing her love of dance. She is also an avid foodie and enjoys exploring new flavors and cuisines. With a curious and open-minded approach to life, Kaida is committed to helping readers deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships. Read less