How to Make Him See Your Worth? 13 Ways
In This Article
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have” as quoted by British psychologist Robert Holden. The question shouldn’t be how to make him see your worth. Instead, it’s “can you see your own worth and how can you build on it?”
We can’t force anyone to think certain things about us. Of course, we all want everyone to see us as the ideal self we like to think we are. Nevertheless, our blind spots are visible to others.
The idea for how to know your worth in a relationship is to get to know yourself deeply. That way, we can learn to love all of ourselves, warts and all.
Only then can you realize your worth such that others can see it too. Ultimately, if you can’t see your worth, how can others see it?
Why do people regret what they have lost?
All relationships are hard because we often don’t show our true selves. We try to be the ideal image we have of ourselves but after a while that stresses us.
So, gradually, our reactions, fears, and worries start bubbling up. How to make someone realize your importance in their life means understanding all these things and how they impact us.
This is accentuated in romantic relationships because of the level of intimacy involved. If our fears drive relationships apart, some of us will learn valuable lessons. Both men and women can learn to realize that they’ve lost something good.
Often, it’s too late by then but learning how to make a man realize your worth isn’t. Both men and women can self-reflect and make necessary changes to their mindset and behavior for future relationships. That’s how you work on being valued by a man.
How to make him see your worth starts by understanding yourself and how you approach relationships. Some people define themselves through their relationships. If that’s you, you’ll then go through a grieving phase after a break-up where you miss the relationship rather than the person.
It’s worth knowing the difference so that for the next relationship, you can make him appreciate you, and you can focus on being valued by a man. You need to balance your life with other hobbies and friends as a starting point to do this.
It’s essential to balance your life, not overly depend on the relationship. You then become more equanimous about any future challenges. Moreover, you’ve stepped back and learned a bit more about how to make him value you.
Why do people mess up relationships?
Both men and women can and do mess up, and that’s how we learn about ourselves, others, and what we want. Of course, not everyone knows how to take those opportunities to learn and reflect on their part in a relationship.
How to make him see your worth is to know what strengths you bring to a relationship and what your blind spots are. What worries you about a long-term commitment? What’s driving you to ask how to make him see your worth?
How long does it take anyone to absorb the lessons of past relationships? The short answer is that it’s a lifelong journey to keep improving how to make a man see your worth. Your emotional style, belief system, and resiliency are all vital parts of how you can shift your mindset and approach in relationships.
Psychologist Richard J. Davidson defined emotional styles in his book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, as our way of responding to what we’re experiencing at any moment. He summarized our moods, traits, and emotions into six themes with a useful self-test for each one.
Those six themes are, as detailed in this paper: outlook, resilience, social intuition, self-awareness, sensitivity to context, attention/focus. Knowing how you rate along those themes will allow you to understand how to make a guy realize your value because you’ll know your value and triggers first.
Related Reading: 20 Deadly Sins to Avoid to Keep Your Relationship Healthy and Happy
How to become desirable and wanted
Make him realize he needs you by becoming the best version of yourself. For example, what positive traits can you exhibit that come naturally to you? Are you more of the fun, easy-going type, or are you the dependable nurturer?
We all have positive traits that make us more attractive as a person. The study further says that you also become more physically desirable. So, making him see your worth means leveraging your positive traits.
Another point to note is that despite various songs and sayings, similarity attracts, not opposites.
So, a useful technique for making him see your worth is to highlight the habits, preferences, and beliefs you have in common, as further detailed in this overview of the similarity/attraction theory.
13 ways to boost your worth
How to make a man see your worth revolves around whether you can see your worth. As you can imagine, you can’t make anyone do anything. They have to discover it for themselves.
You can influence people, though. So, the most powerful way when thinking about how to make him value you is to show your worth through your attitude and behaviors. Make him want you by oozing the traits we seek, such as confidence, compassion, and inner belief.
1. Work on your self-esteem
How to make your boyfriend realize your importance means working on your self-esteem with a therapist or coach. Yes, it can be a tough journey because you’ll expose painful emotions. However, that’s how you also discover your worth and get to learn how to make him see your worth.
There are some simple habits you can start adopting that will also show you how to make him see your worth. For example, list your strengths, be grateful for what you offer, use positive affirmations and remind yourself that you’re human.
Also Try: Do I Have Low Self-esteem Quiz
2. Befriend your inner critic
Know your worth in a relationship by first connecting with your inner critic, who only wants your best. So, can you talk to your inner critic and assure them that you’re ok and don’t need their feedback?
Perhaps you can tell them that you’re more than good enough and everything will be fine? With time, your inner critic will diminish and leave space to show you how to make him see your worth. It was in you all along.
Related Reading: Overcoming Obstacles to Self-Love
3. Learn to respond, not react during arguments
Make him realize he needs you by listening to his viewpoint before trying to get him to your way of thinking. How to make him see your worth is about not suffocating him. Instead, try to practice looking for common ground while giving him space.
4. Listen deeply
How to make him value you involves listening mindfully without judgment or distractions. We all appreciate it when others listen to us, and it makes us feel valued. It sounds simple, but it’s a great way when thinking about how to make him see your worth.
Related Reading: The Importance of Art of Listening in a Relationship
5. Practice self-care
When you realize your worth, you’ll naturally take care of yourself. Not only will you then look even more fabulous, but you’ll be rested and emotionally stable. There’s no better approach when considering how to make him see your worth.
Related Reading: The 5 Pillars of Self-Care
6. Balance your life
Make him value you again by showing him that you have a life outside the relationship. Explore new hobbies if you need to and go and hang out with friends who show you their appreciation for who you are.
You’ll feel better inside and not so dependent on your relationship. That’s another sure way to consider when thinking about how to make him see your worth.
Related Reading: 10 Tips on How to Maintain Balance in a Relationship
7. Understand your attachment style
How to raise your value in a relationship is to understand how you attach to your partners. So, if you’re anxiously attached, you’ll tend to smother them in the hope they won’t leave you. On the other hand, avoidantly attached people are too emotionally distant.
Have a look at this video on how to make him see your worth by learning about how your attachment style impacts your personality:
8. Know your goals and values
It’s important to know where you’re headed in life to understand how to know your worth in a relationship. For instance, what values guide your decisions? What do you expect in your partners, and how does that help you reach your goals?
Knowing your own goals is then a clue for how to make him see your worth. As Dr. Gottman suggests in his article, common goals allow you to create shared meaning for a stronger relationship.
9. Learn to say no
Knowing your worth when dating someone means saying no. lt is a small but powerful word and people, including partners, respect you more for using it and knowing your boundaries.
So, how to make him see your worth means learning to say no. Techniques include being mindful and in touch with your emotions, among others, as described in this counselor’s blog on saying no.
Humor often helps when thinking about how to make a man realize your worth. Essentially, don’t take yourself too seriously while co-creating humorous moments that connect you on a deeper level. Scientists have even shown it leads to stronger relationships, as summarized in this article.
Related Reading: 20 Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship
11. Be independent but connected
Knowing your worth when dating means not being afraid to share your opinions. Make sure you balance this by also being connected to your man. That means being open to his emotions and to yours while you listen to his views with the aim of understanding and not changing him.
Ultimately, accepting him is the key for how to make him see your worth. He’ll feel valued simply by being around you.
Related Reading: Why Is It Important to Be Independent in a Relationship?
12. Believe in something greater
How to raise your value in a relationship also means stepping out of yourself and your world. Believing in something bigger than yourself is humbling and often inspires us to help others or volunteer. It’s a known way to build self-esteem, which is also part of how to make him see your worth.
13. Cultivate self-compassion
Make him appreciate you by being kind to yourself. Self-worth or self-esteem is only part of the puzzle. As summarized in this HBR article, researchers have shown that we also need self-compassion to be successful in everything, including relationships.
We will mess up, bon, you won’t absorb the learnings so well without self-compassion. Then, by default, you won’t know how to make him see your worth.
Related Reading: How to Practice Self Compassion for a Satisfying Relationship
How to be valued in a relationship
Now you know that it’s all about valuing yourself in a relationship, but how do you get that value back? As mentioned, you need to do the inner work first. Moreover, what are your personality strengths, and how do you use them in relationships?
A powerful tool for how to make your boyfriend realize your importance is journaling. This article by psychotherapist Emily Roberts gives practical examples of self-esteem prompts to help you realize your worth.
Another part of making a guy realize your value is getting to know your belief system. Do you constantly tell yourself that you should be this or that? Are you unlovable if you’re single, for instance?
As counselor Katharina Star explains in her article on changing self-defeating beliefs, once you’ve observed them, can you challenge those beliefs and change them?
How to make someone realize your importance in their life is the wrong question. Instead, ask yourself where you see your worth and what value you bring to a relationship.
If you’re happy with who you are and living to your values, it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t want to be with you. In that case, it says more about them. Moreover, you’ll have the emotional stability to let them go and move on because you’ve been true to who you are.
Of course, it isn’t always easy to know your worth in a relationship and to make him realize he needs you. It starts with valuing yourself in a relationship first and making sure your needs and boundaries are clear.
Working with a therapist or a coach can help you define your emotional style and belief system along with building the resilience to accept people as they are. The only thing you can control is how you respond to life.
When you realize your worth, you’ll notice that people naturally shift how they treat you. Not only will you make him value you again without even trying but you’ll live a more fulfilled life.
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