Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or that’s what they say.
I always shied away from the idea of working with someone I loved, believing that spending too much time with them would cause resentment.
The fear of getting sick and tired of seeing the same face day-in and day-out meant I tried hard to keep my time separate and organized, dedicating each part of my day to a specific activity.
Working full-time hours limited the time I spent with my husband to the evenings and weekends, and I believed that it would make the time we spent together more enjoyable, but it only created distance.
We were busy doing what you’re always made to believe you ‘should’ do.
I was always told that I should find a career, work hard, and save money, but this resulted in my husband and I working long days, giving us little time together.
We missed each other
By the time we finished work in the evenings, neither of us had the energy to make our time together meaningful, and fun date nights were a thing of the past.
We both had our own lives to lead, sometimes my work had me coming home late and leaving early, and he did too.
We were like ships that passed in the night, seeing each other occasionally as we zombie-walked towards the bed, wrapped up in our own little worlds of work and life.
Days off were few and far between, and when the weekends did arrive, they were filled with all those grown-up obligations that suddenly become a huge part of adult life without you even noticing.
There was always something that needed doing, another obligation that meant we could no longer jump in the car for a spontaneous weekend away just the two of us.
The daily grind was taking its toll, and we got fed up with seeing each other so less.
It was time to make a change, and it was a decision that not only changed our lives for the better, but it made our relationship so much stronger.
We started a business together
We were told that starting a business together was crazy, that we’d get fed up with being around each other all the time. But in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Starting a business with my spouse made me love him more. I found in him creativity, an innovation that I hadn’t seen before, and it truly brought forward all the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.
This new found creativity was the inspiration behind our new business venture that we called Cleverism and soon gave us the ability to start a second venture, hoping to empower other people to take their own leap of faith towards a life they would love, which we christened FounderJar.
So how did working together increase our love for each other?
1. It improved our communication
Healthy communication is so vital in a relationship. Being able to truly listen and hear what your partner is saying is a beautiful thing and working with my husband meant that we had to find new ways to communicate when we didn’t agree.
You can’t exactly go into another room and ignore your business partner when there is work to be done.
There might be times that it can be difficult, opposing ideas and different personalities can bring some challenges, but it gave us a new reason to really listen to each other’s ideas rather than just brushing them off.
Starting a business together gave us the opportunity to have open, honest discussions, using each other as a sounding board for ideas and inspiration.
Our journey was one of learning together, we made mistakes, but we worked with each other to overcome them.
We had a newfound understanding of each other, and this provided us with the ability to give other people the information they needed to learn from their own mistakes.
Not only did we talk more, but there was also something magical about hearing the passion each of us had for this venture.
2. We appreciated each other more
Do you remember all the reasons you fell in love with your partner?
Sharing our ideas, our inspirations, made us appreciate each other’s strengths and gave us the opportunity to support each other more than before. And, even research claims that gratitude and appreciation are directly linked to marital quality.
I saw a new side to my husband, one that I didn’t get to see when we worked separate jobs.
I saw his determination, the way he logically assessed a situation before he acted, the way he would take a physical step back from his computer if things didn’t come out right, and it just made me love him more.
We discovered wonderful sides of each other’s personalities that we might never have seen if we hadn’t decided to take this leap together.
3. We had more fun together
We spend such a huge portion of our lives working that it would be a waste if we didn’t enjoy it. And, starting a business with my husband has been so much fun.
There were times when being a business couple felt like a challenge, but life is nothing without challenges.
Without the downs, there wouldn’t be value to the ups, but so much of this journey has been incredibly enjoyable.
We interact in a new way; we understand each other better, and most importantly of all; we love the work we do.
Together we have created a business built around helping others, sharing our knowledge to help them achieve their own dreams, to make the changes they want in their lives.
We found our own niche, and it is one we share. Now we work together so others can find their own niches, their own little piece of themselves.
Our relationship has become more relaxed; there is so much more laughter and light in our lives.
Sharing this experience with each other has given us the opportunity to not only love the work we do but have fun while we do it.
I have a best friend that I am lucky enough to be married to and work alongside, and it’s all because we decided to make this journey together.
4. We achieved success together
There’s nothing quite like the sense of achievement you feel when you accomplish a goal you thought might never be possible, but this can cause resentment in relationships.
It’s normal to feel jealous in relationships; in fact, it can be healthy, but sometimes if your partner is more successful, it can create a bit of resentment.
Resentment can ruin a relationship. But, when you achieve tremendous goals with your partner, there is no scope for resentment.
Starting a business together made my husband and I each other’s cheerleaders. We are there, standing right beside each other, offering support and coffee when the other needs it.
There is something indescribable about achieving success together. It is a mix of personal achievement and pride. We are proud of each other, and we are proud of what we have achieved in our relationship.
5. We built a life together
Loving someone means building a life together. That’s why you work and save money and celebrate with each other, and that is why my husband and I decided to do this together.
We wanted to build a life together, not build our lives separately, and occasionally meet each other in the middle.
This journey has given us the opportunity to do something amazing together, the two of us, putting in the work and the commitment towards a common goal.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.