We have a habit of assuming that a person is happy, satisfied and even “lucky” if they are in a romantic relationship with someone. The possibility, that perhaps the individual in a long-term relationship is the loneliest, emotionally unstable person of all does not cross our minds.
Why? Because our minds are conditioned in a way that finding “the one” for yourself is the true meaning of life.
While that could be the ultimate goals of many people, it shouldn’t mean that you force yourself into relationships that are of potential damage to you.
Relationships can be classified into two broad categories; healthy and unhealthy relationships. There are key features that indicate how toxic or unhealthy a relationship is for you. No one wants to think the worse about their relationship or to believe that it’s unhealthy.
We all want to see the best in people we love. It may be hard to admit that your relationship is toxic, but the sooner you do, the better.
How do you tell the difference?
A healthy relationship takes lots of effort and time. A happy relationship is based on mutual respect, trust, equality, individuality, passion, and attachment. These things take time to develop. A healthy relationship should not be the cause of your stress and anxiety.
You shouldn’t be feeling insecure about something that you need to be most sure and secure about.
Any relationship that makes you doubt yourself, make you doubt the other person, makes you feel threatened and becomes your weakness, is not a healthy one.
If you’re insecure about expressing your true feelings to the person, not right. When you have to hide or conceal a physical flaw, not good.
A healthy and positive relationship will not have you compromise on your individual identity and personal space. Your relationship is only, and should only be a small part of who you are and not entirely define you. When you feel you and your identity, your real self is being overshadowed with your relationship and your partner; it may be a negative sign.
Relationships work when both the people in it are equally involved.
If you feel that most of the times it’s your partner making decisions for you and does not look forward to your opinions and advice, it’s time to reconsider things.
Your relationship with one person should never affect your relationships with other important people in your lives. Your family time, your social life, should not be compromised to the extent that your days revolve wholly and solely around that one person.
Aggression, impatience, intolerance, extreme jealousy, anger, lack of trust and even physical abuse, all are signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Are breakups really the worst thing possible?
Since relationships are a sign of success, breakups are automatically signs of failure. You need to get past this concept and realize that perhaps a break up is the most important and healthiest thing you could be doing for yourselves in a while. Healthy breakups are possible.
The worst thing is not breaking up; the worst thing is staying and holding onto a hopeless relationship which did nothing but harm you and your mental state.
Getting yourselves out of a long-term unhealthy relationship is a brave thing to do. It’s not easy moving on. But when you do, you open yourselves to newer and fresher possibilities and opportunities. You let yourself breathe some air of freedom. Healthy breakups can indeed mark the beginning of better things in life that are yet to come.
You may find yourself in a distressful place after a breakup, considering the emotional damage you just had to bear. Give it some time and take all the space you need. You’ll soon realize that cutting off toxic people and relationships from your life was probably all you needed. A healthy breakup is a way to get rid of the toxicity in your life.
However, jumping on the conclusion that you need to break up a soon as you face a small set back is not the right thing to. All relationships have good and bad times, positive and negative experiences.
The important thing is how frequent are the negative experiences occurring. If your relationship is a constant source of stress, that could be a negative sign. But if you are generally stressed out or going through a rough patch in life and putting the blame on your relationship, then breaking up could be an uncalled for, impulsive decision.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.