How to Increase Physical Intimacy in a Relationship: 17 Tips

Physical intimacy is a key part of feeling connected in a relationship, but it can sometimes feel like it’s slipping away. Whether life has gotten busy, stress is building up, or other things are taking priority, it’s not uncommon to experience a shift.

Does it mean something is wrong?

Not necessarily! Every relationship goes through phases, and sometimes, a little effort is needed to reignite that spark. The good news is there are plenty of ways to feel close again.

If you’re wondering how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, there are simple steps that can help you and your partner feel more connected, both emotionally and physically.

What physical intimacy is actually…

Physical intimacy is about more than just physical touch; it’s about the connection and closeness that two people share. It’s the way you communicate without words, through gestures, cuddles, and even a gentle brush of the hand.

It’s those little moments when you feel truly seen and understood by your partner. Sometimes, it’s easy to confuse physical intimacy with just being sexual, but it’s much broader than that.

Research highlight: Studies show that expressions of affection, including physical displays, are common in committed couples and positively correlate with relationship satisfaction. Higher relationship commitment is linked to more frequent affectionate communication, which also reduces attachment insecurity, contributing to a stronger emotional bond between partners.

Whether it’s in marriage or a relationship, physical intimacy brings couples closer, helping them feel safe, loved, and appreciated.

So, when we talk about physical intimacy in marriage or a relationship, it’s really about building that emotional closeness through physical connection.

5 reasons why physical intimacy is important in relationships

Physical intimacy plays a vital role in the bond between two people, helping them connect on a deeper level. It’s about more than physical touch; it nurtures emotional closeness, trust, and understanding.

If you’re wondering why building physical intimacy is important in your relationship, here are 5 reasons that might help you see its value.

1. Strengthens emotional connection

Physical intimacy helps couples feel emotionally closer, offering comfort and security. A hug, a touch, or simply holding hands can remind your partner that they are loved and valued.

These small acts of connection build trust, which deepens the emotional bond between two people. Over time, building physical intimacy becomes an important way to show support and affection without even needing to say a word.

2. Reduces stress and tension

Physical intimacy, such as cuddling or touching, releases hormones like oxytocin, which helps reduce stress. In relationships, this calming effect can make both partners feel more relaxed and at ease.

Research highlight: Studies show that oxytocin plays a crucial role in romantic relationships by promoting positive behaviors such as affectionate touch and social focus. Higher oxytocin levels are found in new couples and are linked to long-term relationship success, relationship quality, and the ability to form adult social bonds.

Sharing intimate moments offers comfort and helps release the tension built up from daily life. Through physical closeness, couples can feel less overwhelmed, which allows them to cope better with challenges together.

3. Promotes trust and security

Being physically close to your partner can foster a sense of safety and trust. It shows that you are there for each other, not just emotionally but physically.

When you consider building physical intimacy, it reassures both partners that they are valued and respected, reinforcing the foundation of the relationship. This mutual trust becomes an essential element of feeling secure in your bond.

4. Encourages open communication

Physical intimacy can help open the doors to better communication. When you feel close to your partner, it becomes easier to share your thoughts and feelings.

Whether it’s through physical touch or gestures, building physical intimacy often leads to more honest conversations. This openness helps couples understand each other better, strengthening both emotional and physical connections in the relationship.

5. Increases relationship satisfaction

Couples who experience consistent physical intimacy often feel more satisfied in their relationships. The act of being close helps maintain a loving connection, reinforcing the positive feelings they have for each other.

By building physical intimacy, partners can create lasting memories of comfort, love, and support, which contributes to their overall happiness and contentment in the relationship.

How are physical and sexual intimacy different?

Physical and sexual intimacy might seem similar, but they carry different meanings in a relationship! While both forms of closeness are essential, they serve distinct roles in how partners connect emotionally and physically.

Understanding the differences can help strengthen the bond between you and your partner… after all, every relationship is unique, right?

Whether it’s the comfort of a gentle touch or the passion behind sexual closeness, both types of intimacy matter.

Attribute	Physical Intimacy	Sexual Intimacy
Definition	Non-sexual touch such as hugging, cuddling, or holding hands.	Involves sexual activities like kissing and intercourse.
Purpose	Builds emotional connection and comfort.	Strengthens sexual attraction and pleasure.
Context	Occurs in both private and public settings.	Typically occurs in private, intimate settings.
Emotional Impact	Increases emotional security and trust.	Enhances passion and physical connection.
Presence in Relationships	Found in both platonic and romantic relationships.	Primarily present in romantic or sexual relationships.

17 ways to increase intimacy in your relationship

Building intimacy in a relationship is about creating a deeper emotional, physical, and even spiritual bond with your partner.

Whether you’ve been together for years or are just starting out, understanding how to improve marriage or relationship intimacy can make all the difference.

It’s not just about physical closeness but emotional connection, too! Here are 17 ways you can increase intimacy in your relationship and create a stronger, more loving connection.

1. Spend quality time together

To deepen your bond, it’s essential to prioritize time together. This isn’t just about sitting in the same room; it’s about engaging with one another. Put down the phones, turn off the TV, and have meaningful conversations.

Go for walks, enjoy shared hobbies, or simply relax together.

When you focus on how to improve physical intimacy in a marriage or relationship, being present and attentive to each other can naturally create more closeness and understanding between you.

What you can say: “I love spending time with you, even when we’re just relaxing together. Let’s plan more moments like this where we can really enjoy each other’s company.”

2. Communicate openly and honestly

Open communication is the foundation of intimacy. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your partner. When you express yourself without fear of judgment, it strengthens emotional intimacy.

If you’re wondering how to improve marriage or relationship intimacy, it often begins with being honest. Also, don’t just talk about the good things; being vulnerable about worries or insecurities can bring you closer together, as it shows trust and openness.

What you can say: “I feel safe when I can share my thoughts with you. I want us to keep being honest with each other, no matter what.”

3. Make physical touch a priority

Physical touch is a key way to build closeness. Holding hands, cuddling, and hugging are simple yet effective ways to build physical intimacy. These small gestures help create a sense of comfort and safety.

If you’re looking at how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, consider incorporating more frequent touch throughout your day. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex; sometimes, it’s just about showing affection.

What you can say: “I love holding your hand or cuddling when we’re together. It makes me feel close to you, and I hope it makes you feel the same.”

4. Explore each other’s love languages

Understanding how your partner gives and receives love is crucial for deepening intimacy. The five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—can provide insights into your partner’s needs.

If you know how to build sexual intimacy in a marriage or a relationship, you’ll be able to cater to your partner’s specific emotional desires, which ultimately help both emotional and physical intimacy thrive.

What you can say: “I want to love you in the way that makes you feel the most connected to me. What’s your love language, and how can I show my love better?”

5. Be supportive during difficult times

One of the most meaningful ways to improve marriage or relationship intimacy is by being there during the tough moments. Whether your partner is going through stress, anxiety, or grief, showing empathy and support strengthens your bond.

Offer a listening ear, a comforting hug, or words of encouragement. Knowing you’re there no matter what helps solidify emotional and physical closeness.

What you can say: “I’m here for you, no matter what. You don’t have to go through this alone. Lean on me, and we’ll get through it together.”

6. Share personal goals and dreams

Discussing your personal aspirations with your partner can help deepen intimacy. Sharing what drives you, your future hopes, and even your fears can promote understanding and closeness.

It’s a chance to let your partner into your inner world, which can build trust. The more you share, the more connected you’ll feel, both emotionally and physically.

This also helps when considering how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, as shared goals often lead to more affectionate and supportive behaviors.

What you can say: “I’ve been thinking about where I want to go in life, and I’d love to share that with you. What are your dreams and goals?”

7. Be affectionate outside the bedroom

Affection doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom! Show love through touch, hugs, and compliments during your day-to-day activities. Being physically close regularly can help determine how to build physical intimacy.

When affection becomes part of your routine, it encourages deeper connection and closeness, eventually leading to an improved sense of intimacy, both emotionally and sexually.

What you can say: “I want us to stay connected, even when we’re not in bed. A simple hug or kiss means a lot to me.”

8. Practice active listening

Listening is a powerful tool in relationships! Instead of thinking about what to say next, focus entirely on what your partner is expressing. Show empathy and understanding, and avoid interrupting.

Active listening enables deeper emotional intimacy, which in turn can lead to physical closeness. Start by listening well if you’re wondering how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship. Emotional connection often strengthens physical attraction and touch.

What you can say: “I’m here, and I’m really listening to what you’re saying. Your feelings and thoughts matter to me.”

9. Prioritize intimacy in your schedule

With busy lives, intimacy can sometimes take a back seat. Make it a priority by scheduling alone time where you can focus on each other.

Whether it’s a regular date night, a weekend getaway, or just a few hours of uninterrupted time, this commitment is crucial for how to improve physical intimacy in a marriage or relationship.

Planning for intimacy shows that you value your connection and helps maintain a strong bond over time.

What you can say: “I miss our time together. Let’s make sure we have regular time just for us, where we can really connect.”

10. Be playful and have fun together

Laughter and fun create memories that last! Playfulness often leads to spontaneous moments of physical intimacy like tickling, cuddling, or a simple, playful nudge.

When you’re relaxed and having fun, you’re more likely to feel close to your partner. If you’re trying to figure out how to build physical intimacy, remember that it doesn’t always have to be serious!

Sometimes, playfulness can bring you even closer.

What you can say: “I love laughing and being silly with you. It makes me feel even closer to you when we have fun together.”

11. Practice forgiveness and let go of resentment

Holding onto grudges or past mistakes can build walls in a relationship. If you’re trying to understand how to improve marriage or relationship intimacy, learning to forgive is crucial.

Resentment can create emotional distance, which can also affect physical closeness. By letting go of past hurts and focusing on the present, you can create room for deeper emotional and physical connection.

What you can say: “I don’t want to hold onto what happened in the past. Let’s move forward and focus on making our relationship stronger.”

12. Explore new activities together

Sharing new experiences can bring you closer! Whether it’s a new hobby, a cooking class, or an adventure trip, exploring something new helps you bond.

It’s not just about finding a shared interest but also about being open to discovery together.

When you engage in new activities, you might also find new ways to express affection, helping you figure out how to build sexual intimacy in a marriage or relationship.

What you can say: “Let’s try something new together! It could be fun to explore new activities and create fresh memories as a couple.”

13. Keep the romance alive

Romance is essential to keeping intimacy alive! Surprise your partner with a heartfelt note, a special dinner, or an unexpected gesture of love. Romance is one of the ways you can increase physical intimacy in a relationship.

It shows that you care and that you’re invested in maintaining that connection. Small romantic gestures over time lead to a stronger emotional and physical bond.

What you can say: “I want us to keep the romance alive. Let’s make time for sweet surprises and little gestures that show we still care deeply.”

14. Respect personal space and boundaries

While closeness is important, respecting your partner’s need for space is just as essential. Everyone needs time to recharge and reflect. Being mindful of this helps strengthen trust and shows that you respect their individuality.

It may seem counterintuitive, but giving space can actually help build physical intimacy in the long run, as it creates balance and respect in the relationship.

What you can say: “I respect that you need time for yourself, and I’m here when you’re ready to reconnect. I value both our closeness and our space.”

15. Engage in deep conversations

Small talk is great, but diving into meaningful conversations can create a deeper bond. Talk about life’s bigger questions—your values, beliefs, or even your fears.

These kinds of discussions can encourage emotional intimacy and help you connect on a deeper level. This emotional closeness often leads to physical closeness, offering another way to improve marriage or relationship intimacy.

What you can say: “I love when we talk about the deeper things in life. It makes me feel even more connected to you when we share our thoughts.”

16. Show appreciation regularly

Expressing gratitude for your partner strengthens emotional intimacy. It could be a simple “thank you” or an unexpected compliment. These small acts of appreciation make your partner feel valued and loved.

If you’re looking at how to build physical intimacy, remember that emotional closeness often leads to more physical touch and connection, making appreciation a powerful tool in any relationship.

What you can say: “Thank you for all the little things you do. I see and appreciate them, and I love you even more for it.”

Watch this video where Sara Algoe, a professor of psychology, explains how gratitude affects romantic relationships:

17. Be patient with the process

Building intimacy takes time and effort. Don’t rush it, and don’t expect instant results. If you’re working on how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, patience is key.

Intimacy grows when both partners feel secure and connected, emotionally and physically. It’s a process that involves consistent effort, understanding, and love, so take it one day at a time!

What you can say: “I know intimacy takes time to grow. I’m committed to working on our connection, and I trust that we’ll get closer as we keep putting in the effort.”

To sum up

Building intimacy in a relationship is a journey that requires time, patience, and effort… but it’s absolutely worth it!

Whether you’re focusing on emotional closeness, learning how to increase physical intimacy in a relationship, or nurturing sexual connection, every little step brings you closer to a deeper bond.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about consistently showing love, support, and understanding. Remember, intimacy grows with trust, shared experiences, and open communication.

So be kind to each other, enjoy the small moments, and keep nurturing your connection. In the end, it’s these everyday acts that create lasting intimacy and a stronger, more loving relationship.