If I’d realized that there were stages of physical intimacy, back in my youth, I’m sure that it would have saved me a ton of anxiety.
Being able to read the body language of my partner and understanding the stages of physical intimacy as I was progressing through them would have helped me learn how to put the brakes on in my relationships when I needed to. And it would have also saved me a lot of problems and confusion when it came to being rejected, or having to let down an overly eager boyfriend when I eventually realized their intentions!
I consider these stages so useful that if I had a teen on my hands, I’d definitely be giving them a ‘Stages Of Physical Intimacy’ checklist (along with a list of get-out contingencies and troubleshooting or coping strategies, just in case). Afterall, forewarned is forearmed.
Keep your intimacy ignited
Understanding the stages of physical intimacy doesn’t only have its place in youth though. It can help any new couple orientate themselves when it comes to the physical and intimate side of a relationship. And in a long-term relationship, the stages of physical intimacy can flag a distance between you (so that you might address the problem), and so that you can also keep your intimacy ignited.
Stages of physical intimacy in a new relationship
Learning to understand your new partner intimately is something that doesn’t happen overnight. It develops over time, and so the early stages of a relationship can feel quite daunting, or confusing, especially if you are not overly confident in your dating and intimacy prowess. You’ll probably be making blind guesses about where you are in your relationship on all levels, not just intimately. Also, your partner might have his or her own issues regarding intimacy that may require trust before they can feel comfortable enough to express such matters to you.
If you are aware of the stages of physical intimacy, many of the challenges that these issues bring will be alleviated. It’s like having a textbook manual that helps you to read your partner well, and make better decisions about your relationship while you are still getting to know them. And it can create a fantastic opportunity to build a healthy level of trust with your new partner from the offset.
- You will be able to read the intimacy signs that your partner gives to you, so you’ll know where you are and what is coming next – which means you’ll be able to prepare and be prepared!
- You’ll be able to understand how quickly you are progressing through the intimacy stages – giving yourself the opportunity to slow things down or notice if there is something that is slowing your partner down.
- You can discuss any delayed developments in intimacy with your partner – so that you can encourage your partner to explain why they are not moving forward intimately with you – this could help a beautiful relationship blossom, or save you a lot of wasted time on a relationship that’s potentially not working.
Stages of physical intimacy in a long-term relationship
In long-term relationships, intimacy can often be taken for granted and is usually something that happens to be there – or not (occasionally).
When you are aware of the stages of physical intimacy, you can use this as a gauge to notice if there is a distance between you and your partner. And you can even figure out what you might be able to do to close that distance.
For example; Your partner might kiss you, and naturally, put their hand around your waist which is both intimate acts. But it might stop there – the tenderness, looking longingly into each other’s eyes and love making all an illusion of the past.
In a situation such as the one above it’s hard to know what to do to put things right, especially if the distance has prevailed for a long time. There will be many considerations that are likely to be flowing through your mind – such as whether your partner is still attracted to you, or even still in love with you. Or whether you still feel the same about them, and how on earth do you get yourselves out of this rut.
The stages of physical intimacy might be your secret weapon when it comes to addressing these problems.
It’s easy to do too. You can use it as a guide to assess what stages of intimacy you no longer partake in as a couple, and we don’t just mean the intercourse, we mean everything that leads up to that. Such as eye to eye contact, hand-holding, or even some hand to head action.
These gestures are some of the most intimate you can make, and if they are missing from your relationship now, and things are a little dry in the intimacy department it’s time to reinstate them – before you decide that your relationship is doomed. It’s incredible how far eye to eye contact and a touch of tenderness can take a relationship.