The words “sex” and “intimacy” can be used almost interchangeably in the context of relationships. But true intimacy is so much more than just the physical representation of romance. Intimacy involves elements of trust, passion, and tenderness; these are the elements that combine to create lasting bonds, experienced as the emotional –physical phenomena of that which represents love.
Sex for married couples can be a thing of art and beauty; you know what he likes, she is into your smell, she likes her ear ticked, you like – well, you get the point.
Many couples, despite these moments, find themselves disinterested in sex, or they find that their partner seems disinterested in sex, over years of the same old routine. This is, in fact, one of the most common issues brought up in relationship and marriage advice forums. The good news is, there is no shortage of creative ways to add to your sex life. Here are some awesome sex tips for married couples:
Work on your sex life
So, first things first – if you feel your level of intimacy is on the decline, it is important that you and your partner establish some communication around this, and come to agreements as to what your reasonable expectations are.
- Should you be having sex once per week or once per month?
- What stressors or other issues are obstacles toward more frequent intimacy?
- What needs to be added to refuel your engines and rekindle the passion?
- Are there other issues in the relationship that could be causing or contributing intimacy problems?
In talking, remember not to push or pressure your partner; let them answer at their leisure. Make sure it is a good time to have the discussion; and give them a day or two, even to think process what you’ve said and formulate their own response.
Do not be too hard on yourself
Intimacy issues are par for the course in any long-term relationship. Try not to blame yourself or presume you are doing something wrong. Many people take it deeply personally when there are changes in their sex lives. The truth is, fatigue, stress, and busy schedules can cause changes in priorities, and sex can easily go on the backburner.
That being said, the best medicine is prevention, so try making sex a priority in marriage before you realize you’ve been putting it off. This is important because some couples begin to experience relational problems when the intimacy cycle is disrupted.
There are many creative ways couples can re-introduce sex or expand their sexual repertoire. There are thousands of books on this subject; they describe methods of roleplay, introducing props, or watching erotic films; just to mention a few.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Kelli H