Expert Tips for Married Couples to Ignite & Improve Their Sex Life
The words “sex” and “intimacy” can be used almost interchangeably in the context of relationships. But true intimacy is so much more than just the physical representation of romance.
Intimacy involves elements of trust, passion, and tenderness; these are the elements that combine to create lasting bonds, experienced as the emotional –physical phenomena of that which represents love.
Sex for married couples can be a thing of art and beauty; you know what he likes, she is into your smell, she likes her ear ticked, you like – well, you get the point.
As the monotony of life sets in, sex for married couples becomes dis-interesting, or they find that their partner seems disinterested in sex. This is, in fact, one of the most common issues brought up in relationship and marriage advice forums.
Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship or a healthy sex life requires both partner to willingly commit time and effort. Moreover establishing a meaningful communication is also essential for enhancing the sexual intimacy in marriage.
The good news is, there is no shortage of creative ways to add to your sex life. So if you are looking for answers on how to improve your sex life? sex ideas for long term relationships? how to have great sex in marriage? and even the importance of sex in a marriage?
Then here are some awesome sex tips for better sex in marriage or ways to improve sex life for a healthy marriage:
Work on your sex life
So, first things first – if you feel your level of intimacy is on the decline, it is important that you and your partner establish some communication around this, and come to agreements as to what your reasonable expectations are.
- Should you be having sex once per week or once per month?
- What stressors or other issues are obstacles toward more frequent intimacy?
- What needs to be added to refuel your engines and rekindle the passion?
- Are there other issues in the relationship that could be causing or contributing intimacy problems?
In talking, remember not to push or pressure your partner; let them answer at their leisure. Make sure it is a good time to have the discussion; and give them a day or two, even to think process what you’ve said and formulate their own response.
Do not be too hard on yourself
Intimacy issues are part of any long-term relationship. Try not to blame yourself or presume you are doing something wrong. Many people take it too personally when there are changes in their sex lives.
The truth is, fatigue, stress, and busy schedules can cause changes in priorities, and sex can easily go on the backburner. That being said, the best medicine is prevention, so try making sex a priority in marriage before you realize you’ve been putting it off.
This is important because some couples begin to experience relational problems when the intimacy cycle is disrupted.
There are many creative ways couples can re-introduce sex or expand their sexual repertoire. There are thousands of books on this subject; they describe methods of role play, introducing props, or watching erotic films; just to mention a few.
Explore your fantasies
Sex for married couples is haunted by monotonous routines and a lack of spontaneity, the sad part is that it does not take much to ignite the lost passion in most relationship.
Revamp your sex life requires you to be a bit brave and keep an open mind towards trying new things. One of the best ways to disrupt the predictability of your sex life is to explore the boundaries of your sexual fantasies with your partner.
Explicitly communicating your fantasies with your partner might make you feel uncomfortable but not only would this help you come up with sex ideas but would also help you strengthen your communication and trust that you both share.
Here are some steps you can follow when discussing sexual fantasies with your spouse:
– Try and and of possible activities that turns you on, maybe something that you read about or saw in a movie or a clip and ask you spouse to do the same.
– Once you have certain ideas of what you and your spouse might be interested in trying, then try to communicate the same with each other. If in case you feel shy or find talking about your fantasy a bit embarrassing then you can also write it down and pass it on to your husband or wife.
– Mutually decide on what fantasies you both find interesting and would be willing to try.
– Take the lead in preparing and executing the fantasies that you like and ask your partner to do the same. This way you both are exposed to each other and gradually find the courage to accept each others desires.
Bridge the communication gap
Open and honest communication between couples is what binds a relationship. Unless and until you and your spouse find a way to air out your feelings or concerns, you would only feel trapped and foster resentment against each other.
Lack of sex or intimacy in a relationship or a marriage without sex is often a result of poor communication between couples. Communicating with your spouse about topics that you have been avoiding is the key reinventing sex for married couples.
Even though not every conversation would be fruitful however don’t be discouraged and remember that making an effort to talk to your spouse brings you one step closer to understanding what is wrong with your relationship.
So, if ever in your marriage you ever feel muddled about how to have a better sex life in marriage?, or how to enjoy sex in marriage? then you can always find your way back to these sex tips for marriage and strive for the change you want in your life.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Kelli H
Social Worker
Kelli Hastings is a writer, social worker, and proud advocate for women. She earned
her B.A. degree from the University of Oregon in 2007, and worked as a behavior
support specialist and program manager. She is inspired to support couples,
teach them skills that lead to healthy, happy and romantic partnerships. Her interests include cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, visualization practice, and related therapies.
