Am I a good lover? What do I need to be doing to assure that my partner reaches orgasm?
What goes where and when and is there a “best” way to be doing this?
Normal questions all men ask themselves at some point in their sexual life.
Are you wondering how to be better in bed? Here are some female-endorsed sex tips to help you feel confident.
These tips will help you get your partner to hear the angels sing each and every time you bed her:
1. It’s not just about penetration
When men think about great sex, they usually focus on the penetrative part of the act. They believe that if they can do that part well, the climax is guaranteed.
But ask any woman, and she will tell you that great sex is much more than just penis meets vagina. It all starts with foreplay.
2. Let’s talk about foreplay
The term foreplay covers a large spectrum.
For some women, it means long kisses over a nice dinner, followed by a session of massage, soft music, candles and finally the act itself. For others, foreplay means the guy taking out the garbage without being asked.
That’s an old joke, but contains a nugget of truth: the helpfulness of the doing this chore without being nagged can often turn the heat up in your couple.
Know this: a man who invests the time, energy and romance into foreplay will be seen as a stellar lover.
And it’s a win-win situation. Even if you think penetration is the be-all and end-all of sex, once you spend some time lingering in the foreplay-zone, you’ll change your mind when you see how hot it gets her.
3. Kiss and kiss again
Don’t reserve your kisses for uniquely when you are in the midst of intercourse.
Begin your foreplay with a kiss, and return to her mouth over and over again during your bedroom antics.
Your mouths are supreme erogenous zones, built for pleasure.
Kiss lightly. Kiss deeply. Nibble on her lips. Brush them slowly, then take her mouth with a little bit of force. All of this will excite her and leave her thinking you really have some expert bedroom skills.
What do women hate? Men that kiss them only when they are having sex with them.
Don’t be that guy.
Confused about where her pleasure lies?
Women’s anatomy down there is clearly not as evident as men’s. Where you are convex, she is concave. The center of her pleasure, the clitoris, can be tricky to find sometimes, depending on how she is built.
Yes, clitoral size varies, just as penis size does. Some are large and easy to find with your fingers, and some are small and a bit tucked in there. So the best way to find her clitoris is with your ears. That’s right. Listen to her breathing, her moaning and her sighs of contentment as you caress her.
If she’s the quiet type, ask her if doing this or that feels good. Still not sure? Ask her to take your hand and guide you to what feels best for her.
She will not only love that you want to make her happy, she’ll very much appreciate that you take the time to do it precisely as she likes it.
4. Communication is key to being good in bed
Fantastic lovers are not born that way. Behind every man who is good in bed is an ex who educated him on what women like.
Are you with a new partner? Don’t be shy. Have an honest and open conversation about what she and you like in bed. This doesn’t have to take place in the bedroom, in fact, a great way to get in the mood is to talk about this before you even take off your clothes.
Tet, phone, or do it in person, it’s a fun and playful way to find out what turns her on, and for you to share what turns you on.
5. Not all women like the same thing
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to pleasing your partner.
What your ex loved your new girlfriend might find revolting. So before you start talking dirty to her, ask her if she finds that sort of thing sexy.
Never spank, slap or use BDSM techniques on her without talking about this type of sexual play before.
Being a good lover means customizing your sexual style to suit and enhance your partner’s pleasure.
That means truly tuning in to her and hearing—by her sexual sounds or just what she tells you—what she’d like you to do.
6. A word about endurance
If you are worried that you won’t last long enough to satisfy her, take matters into your own hands before your date: self-pleasure.
With that out of the way, you will be able to go the course and not worry about your too-quick orgasm shutting down the fun. If you still end up climaxing way too fast, remember there are plenty of ways you can keep your reputation as a great lover.
Use your hands and your mouth, these continue to be viable purveyors of pleasure even if your penis says the show is over.
Here’s what not to do. Consider that the lovemaking session is over just because you’ve come. That’s a surefire way for you to earn the reputation as the Worst lover ever.