Narcissistic Couples: When Two Narcissists Fall in Love

Can two narcissists become a couple? When you think about this question, the first thing that comes to mind is a big fat NO! How could two so self-absorbed people that it’s a mental disorder ever get engaged with each other?

Yet, if you think about it, you might have already met a couple of narcissistic couples. Or you might have even seen them on TV, among so-called power couples.

Narcissists do get into relationships with other narcissists, and in this article, we’ll discuss why and what this relationship looks like.

Narcissistic couples in relationships

Can two narcissists be together?

Narcissists do get into romantic relationships. They get married and have children. You would expect a narcissist to stay single or in casual relationships to be able to pursue their career or talents. But, they can enjoy having someone near too.

Sometimes, they shape (often through abuse)  their partner into what they need to get that constant admiration and care. Basically, spouses of narcissists can often end up sacrificing everything to be able to be there and please their ever-hungry-for-praise partners.

Narcissistic couples might struggle to provide enough love and affection to each other. They might seem to be doing so in the beginning, but soon everyone is clear on what their roles are.

The narcissist demands, and their partner provides. They don’t usually have an interest in their spouse’s feelings, needs, and interests. They have an interest in their own wants and requirements. They will often talk and never listen. They will often ask and never give back.

When two narcissists are in love: What happens when two narcissists fall in love?

Can two narcissists be in a relationship? What happens when two narcissists date?

One might wonder how two such people would get together. It sounds counterintuitive to expect two selfish individuals to form a couple. Who does the pleasing, then? Who is there to serve as a personal assistant in that relationship?

You would expect a narcissist to find someone who is insecure and a natural people-pleaser so they don’t have to work too much on getting them into that slave-like position. And this does happen most of the time.

Nonetheless, there’s also another possibility, and that is for two narcissists to become a narcissistic couple. There must be some science behind that too. 

The first is that similarities attract, and it is a widely known factor in terms of relationships.

A recent study revealed that a narcissist is likely to have a narcissistic partner in long-term relationships. The same goes for Machiavellianism and psychopathy. This finding also supports the thesis that like attracts like, even among people who normally prefer getting complimented by less self-absorbed individuals.

The second possibility is that since narcissists aren’t really desirable life partners, they end up having to scrape the leftovers.

Non-narcissists will probably find someone who can reciprocate their love and care. 

Finally, what might also be true is that they are attracted to the perfect image a narcissist puts forth. They might like how they appear as a couple, thus, how their narcissistic partner makes them look good in the public eye.

What are the signs of a narcissistic couple?

In a narcissistic couple, both partners exhibit intense self-absorption, seeking constant admiration and lacking empathy for each other. Conversations center on their achievements, and they compete for attention and control.

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker–

Narcissism is a personality disorder defined as excessive self-esteem and a tendency to prioritize one’s needs. Narcissistic individuals show little concern for the emotional needs of others but emphasize their importance. Lack of empathy, a sense of superiority, and approval of others, traits like addiction, can be among the symptoms. 

While they may appear perfect to others, conflicts arise due to prioritizing their own needs over each other’s, leading to a fragile relationship. Breaking this cycle involves recognizing their behavior and seeking professional help to build healthier connections.

Here are 5 signs of narcissist couples

• A constant need for admiration and attention
• Lack of empathy towards each other’s feelings
• Competitive behavior to outshine each other
• Focusing on their own achievements in conversations
• Fragile relationship due to prioritizing individual needs over mutual understanding

Challenges faced by two narcissists in a relationship 

narcissist couples might appear initially compatible, both not craving attention and validation. However, as the relationship progresses, these challenges become evident, hindering their ability to maintain a healthy and fulfilling connection.

Here are some common challenges faced by two narcissists in a relationship

• Power struggles

In a two-narcissistic relationship, both partners constantly vie for dominance and control, leading to conflicts and never-ending power struggles.

• Lack of empathy

Neither partner of the narcissist couple shows genuine empathy toward the other’s feelings and needs, resulting in emotional distance and misunderstandings.

• Competitiveness

A narcissist dating a narcissist can feel a sense of competitiveness.

Their competitive nature hampers cooperation and teamwork, as they prioritize individual achievements over the relationship’s well-being.

• Attention-seeking behaviors

Both demand constant attention and admiration, leading to a superficial connection based on ego boosts rather than genuine emotional intimacy.

• Emotional rollercoaster

The relationship between narcissistic couples may fluctuate between extreme highs and lows, as each partner’s self-esteem is fragile and dependent on external validation.

How to survive a narcissist relationship

Surviving a narcissistic relationship can be incredibly challenging, as it involves managing things with a self-absorbed partner. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and protect yourself emotionally while attempting to cope with such a situation.

These tips on how to survive a narcissistic relationship might help

• Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from emotional manipulation and exploitation.
• Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support and validation during difficult times.
• Focus on self-care: Prioritize self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and a sense of peace.
• Build a support network: Surround yourself with people who understand your struggles and can provide a safe space for sharing your feelings.
• Limit contact: When possible, limit interactions with the narcissistic partner to minimize emotional harm.
• Develop emotional resilience: Build resilience by focusing on your strengths and developing coping mechanisms to handle challenging situations.
• Consider seeking professional help: If the relationship becomes unbearable, seeking professional guidance can be empowering and provide clarity for your future decisions.

Know about some hidden signs of narcissistic relationships in this informative video:

Some more points to consider 

Dealing with narcissistic relationships can be a tough task, and many people have questions about their dynamics. Let’s address some such common questions to provide easy-to-understand and empathetic answers.

• Are two narcissists good together?

While it may seem like two narcissists would understand each other, their relationship is often fueled by self-centeredness, leading to power struggles and emotional turmoil. In the long run, such pairings can be emotionally draining and lack genuine emotional connection.

• How to break up with a narcissist

Breaking up with a narcissist requires careful planning and emotional support. Set boundaries, expect resistance, and prioritize your well-being. Surround yourself with a strong support system to help you through this challenging process.

• Do narcissistic couples last?

Narcissistic couples may appear strong on the surface, but their relationships are often built on ego and lack true emotional intimacy. While they may stay together for various reasons, the underlying connection is often superficial and unstable.

• How can I protect myself from the dangers of narcissistic couples?

Protecting yourself from the dangers of narcissistic couples involves setting firm boundaries, recognizing red flags, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals. Prioritize your emotional well-being and avoid getting entangled in their toxic dynamics.

• Do two narcissists attract each other?

Yes, two narcissists can be drawn to each other initially due to the familiarity of their behavior. However, their relationship is often marked by power struggles and a lack of emotional depth, making it challenging to sustain a healthy and fulfilling connection.

Being together despite narcissism

So, can two narcissists marry? Yes! The similarities between two narcissists can make them feel attracted to each other. They may find solace in being with someone who has the same value system as them.

The expectations from a relationship are different between narcissistic and non-narcissistic people. And this difference can become the cause of a lot of friction and dissatisfaction later on. However, when a narcissist is in a relationship with another narcissist, they have certain benefits too.

It is suggested that both narcissistic partners agree on a level of proximity that they would like to maintain and not find each other’s behavior odd in order to maintain a healthy dynamic in the long run.