How Effective Is Black and White Thinking Therapy?

The mind is immensely powerful. It allows us to imagine a future and plan for it while also learning from the past. Sometimes, though, it’s too overenthusiastic and distorts our perceptions into vicious circles of painful emotions. We can then turn to black-and-white thinking therapy.

Using therapy to focus on black-and-white thinking can be a useful platform to let go of distortions in order to view reality for what it is. As a result, we become more accepting and grounded.

Black-and-white thinking can generate painful patterns of events, but it is not therapy as such. Instead, we’ll explore some examples of therapy that can focus on black-and-white thinking. The goal is then to replace it with wiser forms of thought.

What drives the black-and-white mentality?

Black-and-white thinking is a natural experience of our development as humans.

As children and adolescents, we use it to make sense of the world in terms of right and wrong. In many ways, we need it to give us the structure to understand the rules we must learn to follow to be accepted by our communities.

Various psychologists have worked on developmental theories, including Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget, who described cognitive development in early adulthood in this university overview.

In short, we have to work through our black-and-white or absolute way of thinking and discover for ourselves that others have different views and that none of them is actually all right or all wrong.

Other psychologists, including Susanne Cook-Greuter, Loevinger, Kegan, Wilber, and others, have built on child and adolescent theories to explain adult development. This is sometimes referred to as the leadership maturity path. Whilst development is relatively linear until around 20 or so, it isn’t linear beyond that.

Some of us will let go of our black-and-white or extreme thinking. Nevertheless, others hold on to it because it makes them feel safe. Believing that things are right or wrong provides a certainty that we all crave. Others, though, will have experiences that push them into other ways of thinking, where they naturally look for the “gray.”

Other potential causes of black-and-white thinking

We all have triggers from past childhood wounds that we haven’t healed. These can momentarily push us back into our black-and-white ways of viewing the world. The result is that we become anxious and even depressed because we can’t see beyond our extreme views, and we can’t move forward.

As you might expect, certain mental disorders also need black-and-white thinking therapy. Narcissists, for example, tend to view the world as what’s right for them and what is wrong.

Sometimes, we are also faced with black-and-white thinking from the narcissists in our lives. This is hugely challenging and adds immense pressure to our emotional balance. Explore these strategies to deal with malignant narcissists.

Other disorders where coping with black-and-white thinking is a struggle include borderline personality disorder, Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, and depression. You might also be living with someone facing depression, which can be tough.

You want to be there for them while not letting yourself fall into the downward spiral. So, review these tips for dating someone with depression.

Nevertheless, you do not need to have a disorder to sometimes be triggered into black-and-white thinking.

The effects of having a black-and-white mindset

We never actually lose our ability to think in extremes because we still have the child within us. The art of wisdom is to recognize this way of thinking.

Overall, black-and-white thinking closes us down and prevents us from listening to other views. It also often leads us to judge ourselves more harshly.

For example, if we are mainly in an extreme mindset, we might say to ourselves, “I always fail.” Instead, a more balanced thinker might say, “I sometimes fail, but I can find ways to learn.”

In therapy, black-and-white thinking is often known as a cognitive distortion. The mind is notorious for taking these distorted shortcuts. They can be very useful, but they can also close us off from ourselves and others.

So, we jump to conclusions, which are often the wrong ones, or we mind-read and expect our partners to know what we need.

These distortions, or shortcuts, can be hugely damaging because we create negative stories around them that are often completely different from what is actually happening.

Instead, we can use black-and-white thinking therapy to let go of our fixed beliefs and be more open to seeing what is actually happening. 

For example, cognitive therapy for black-and-white thinking encourages you to reframe your extreme views. One useful technique is the Thoughts on Trial technique, where you take a thought and list all the facts for and against that thought.

Such black-and-white thinking therapy allows you to evaluate your thoughts more objectively. They are then less likely to drag you down into a vicious circle of anxiety.

You can learn more about the full list of cognitive distortions in this video by a psychotherapist:

How to move from either/or thinking to a both/and mindset

The first step in overcoming black-and-white thinking is to be aware of it. It isn’t always easy to notice our thoughts, so you can also ask a trusted friend or colleague to point out when you make extreme statements.

Once you start noticing your absolute phrases, black-and-white thinking therapy can guide you to change your language.

Instead of saying, “I am a failure,” you can start shifting to “I am experiencing the thought that I am a failure, but what facts support this, and can this really be true in every single moment.”

It is a common technique from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) to create distance from your thoughts. With time, you give yourself the space you need to choose a different thought.

You can read more about defusing thoughts with ACT in this therapist’s article: How to disentangle from thoughts and feelings.

Such black-and-white thinking therapy is often more powerful than simply reframing the thoughts because ACT works with the emotions behind the thoughts. To really succeed in black-and-white thinking therapy, we need to honor both our logical mind and the emotions that drive it.

You are then more able to boost your self-worth, which can also be linked to black-and-white thinking. Discover more ways to boost self-worth in relationships with this article.

FAQs

Black-and-white thinking, also known as all-or-nothing thinking, can significantly impact relationships and personal well-being. Here are answers to some commonly asked questions:

• What therapy approaches are there to deal with extreme ways of thinking?

Black-and-white thinking therapy can come in all forms depending on what is driving it as well as your style of thinking.

For instance, many appreciate the logical processes behind cognitive behavioral therapy for black-and-white thinking. Others, though, might need more guidance to connect to their emotions while creating space. 

Acceptance & commitment therapy can be one such approach. If you are also dealing with deep childhood pain, somatic therapy can help you process the emotions that are driving your extreme mindset.

• How can I let go of my black-and-white mindset?

Managing black-and-white thinking starts with awareness and self-compassion. We all have it in us to think in black and white. Despite this, the question is how much it is impacting you and others around you.

Black-and-white thinking therapy can be a useful guide to allow you to connect with where your absolute thinking comes from. You can then start shifting into a more open and curious mindset.

• What mental disorder is associated with all-or-nothing thinking?

People with disorders such as borderline personality disorder, as well as generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and depression, can all experience an all-or-nothing mindset. This tends to be a symptom, though. The key is to use black-and-white thinking therapy to work on the cause of the suffering.

• What is the black-and-white thinking style sometimes known as?

Black-and-white thinking is sometimes also known as all-or-nothing, extreme, or absolute thinking. It is one of the cognitive distortions coined by Aaron Beck in the 1960s. Beck is also famous for being the father of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

As such, black-and-white thinking therapy often involves CBT. Nevertheless, it’s worth noting that CBT might not be enough for deeper issues. Sometimes, it can feel too logical and cognitive, whereas people also need to connect with their emotions.

Therefore, many therapists are expanding their toolkit to blend various therapies to better adapt to their clients’ needs.

Moving beyond black-and-white thinking

Black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking can limit your views and block you from others and life opportunities.

We all have the capacity to experience this type of thinking, but the wisdom is to be aware of it and shift it into a more open exploration of the gray in between.

When we move from an either/or mindset, we liberate ourselves because there are so many more ways of doing things. The challenge is that it can also create uncertainty.

Nevertheless, the challenge is worth taking. Black-and-white thinking therapy can help you separate your thoughts and emotions and become more grounded in the grayness of the world.

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Anne Duvaux Coach

Anne’s passion and purpose in life are to guide people to find their own path and contentment by learning about themselves. Only then can we build and nurture the deep connections we all deserve to have. With a background in psychology and neuroscience coaching, she has helped countless couples... Read more transform their communication from aggression to assertiveness and appreciation.   She is both an ICF certified coach and mindfulness-certified, while being a counselor in training, meaning that she offers a holistic approach. You can expect to transform your view of yourself, your relationship, and the world by better understanding the habits of your mind and letting go of the unhelpful ones. You have power over your mind but you don’t have to do it alone. Read less

(Anne Duvaux is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Naperville)