Just like anything else in life, intimacy needs to be consistently taken care of and protected in order to thrive. Think of a garden: a gardener should not only plant the seeds but also needs to tend to the garden if he or she wants to harvest anything worthwhile. The same goes for the intimacy in a marriage. If you want incredible intimacy you must tend to your spouse and marriage. Here are 2 tangible ways to protect and grow the intimacy in your marriage:
1. Flirt with your spouse!
It may sound pretty obvious but it is ridiculously easy to get lost in the day to day activities of life and forget to keep up the flirtations!
Remember back to the times when you and your spouse first started dating. Did you and your then girlfriend/boyfriend only talk about what bills needed to be paid or what had to be done around the house? Of course not! You two flirted with one another! That is when you fell in love. That is why it is important to continue the flame!
There are many different ways you can flirt with your spouse. Every couple has little gestures or phrases that get each other going. So why not shoot your spouse a text with those phrases from time to time? It is a little thing with a large impact. Some texts are the run-of-mill “pick up some milk on your way home” and some are way spicier. Enjoy the spicier ones!
Other ways to flirt can include leaving feisty notes for your spouse, emailing him or her words of affirmation and even calling. However, you and your spouse flirt, have at it. The most important thing is that you do flirt with each other and NEVER with anyone else.
2. Regularly date your spouse!
This piece of advice is also a bit of common sense but once again, couples forget to continue dating their spouse after marriage. Dating your spouse is such an important task that can make or break the intimacy in your marriage. Men and women both need to feel wanted, loved and appreciated.
With that mind, taking your spouse on a date helps to ensure that he or she feels those things. Not to mention that you will also leave with your emotional cup filled up! When date night is regular, you and your spouse will be happy with each other because you will grow together, learn together and have fun together. Neither of you will feel like you are “behind” or “ahead” of the other. You will both be on the same page.
It can be difficult to work out the details sometimes especially if you have children, but date night should be a huge priority.So, try to find a babysitter that can watch the kids once a week. If a sitter isn’t feasible or you are on a tight budget, have a date at home once your kids go to sleep. There are so many ways you and your spouse can make time to allow for a regular date night. Make it work!
Make a pact with your spouse today that you both will be intentional about keeping your “intimacy garden” growing. When flirting and dating become regular habits in a marriage, intimacy thrives.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.