Cheating, when it comes to relationships, is a scary word. It’s a dreaded reality that is familiar to all of us. It could have been with our parents, friends, or past relationships.
Falling in love is such a wonderful experience, but it’s also a risk.
When we enter a relationship, we also risk getting hurt. It takes a while for a person to trust, only to be betrayed by the one person you never thought could do it.
Is my boyfriend cheating?
It is a question that we don’t want to ask ourselves. But what if we are already seeing subtle signs of cheating? What can we do about it?
Learn the first signs your boyfriend is cheating
Some say your instincts will be the first sign of a boyfriend cheating.
It all starts with your gut feeling. Then you will notice minor changes in your boyfriend’s behavior. These are the signs of a cheating boyfriend in a relationship. But for some, how to see if a boyfriend is cheating does not come that easy.
“Is my boyfriend cheating, or is it just me being paranoid?”
If only we could directly ask and get the answer we want, but we can’t.
You can’t just ask your boyfriend about this because he might laugh and accuse you of baseless suspicion.
Aside from your intuition and subtle indications, are there any signs your boyfriend is cheating that you should look out for?
Is it possible to know if your boyfriend is cheating?
Cheating boyfriends are hard to catch. It may be their first time, but they would always figure out ways to avoid being caught.
Some men will go to great lengths to cover their infidelity. Sadly, this is a reality that many of us have already faced.
Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Is my boyfriend cheating?’
How can a man stay with you and tell you he loves you when he’s fooling around with someone else?
‘Is my boyfriend cheating?’ Can you spot signs he is cheating?
Do you want to figure out how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Here are 30 spot-on signs to watch out.
30 clear signs your boyfriend is cheating on you
Is my boyfriend cheating?
How many times has this thought crossed your mind? Do you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, and you want to know how to prove it?
There are actually many ways to see if your boyfriend is cheating, and if you know someone who has gone through the same situation, they would probably tell you the same thing.
Find out if he’s cheating on you with these 30 clear signs.
1. He’s always distracted
“I think my boyfriend is cheating because he’s always distracted.”
You are together in one roof, yet it seems like he’s not present. He’s not ‘in the moment’ with you. You have to call his name more than twice or repeat what you just said.
It’s okay to be like this sometimes, maybe, your boyfriend is thinking of work. But what if he’s distracted with someone else.
2. He buys new perfume and clothes
Here is another obvious sign to watch out for. Is your boyfriend suddenly extra conscious about his looks?
Like a teenager in love, we’re all familiar with the urge to look your best when you’re attracted to someone. Buying new clothes, changing his hairstyle, and buying new perfume may just be a way to get his self-esteem back, or maybe, he’s trying to impress a new girl.
3. He becomes irritated
Suddenly, your boyfriend becomes irritated whenever you become clingy to him. All of a sudden, he gets annoyed when you sing to him.
Feels weird? Maybe because before, he used to love all those quirky stuff you do for him, now it’s the exact opposite.
The change in his behavior can mean that he’s dealing with problems or because he’s having an affair.
4. You notice he always have mood swings
It’s sad when you see him get irritated with you, but what if he changes back to his old self again, and be that super sweet partner?
What’s going on?
This is one of the common signs he is definitely cheating on you. When a man is seeing someone else, he feels guilty, angry, and confused, that’s why he’s always lashing out. Then he feels guilty and tries to make it up.
We see it as frequent mood swings, but your boyfriend has a lot going on.
5. His routines had changed
Are there other ways how to know if my boyfriend is cheating on me?
Be extra observant about his routines. We all have routines that make our life organized. For example, he is used to waking up at 6 am and clocking in at 8 am. Then he may usually go home at a specific time, not unless there’s overtime or a meeting.
Have you noticed drastic changes in his schedule? Does he go to work extra early and come home late? Maybe, he started going to the gym more often, even when he’s doing overtime.
This may mean that your boyfriend is trying to fit his affair on his schedule.
6. He suddenly likes doing overtime
What if your boyfriend suddenly became enthusiastic and it seems like he wants to be the “employee of the month”? He would always come home late because he’s doing overtime.
It could be that he’s trying to get promoted, but if you feel that it’s not about the promotion, then that seals your suspicion. No one would work extra just because they love their job.
Also, be wary if suddenly, your boyfriend becomes occupied with a new hobby that he spends his day-offs just for that. The new hobby or promotion might be another woman.
7. You don’t talk as often
He goes home tired or busy that he forgets to ask about your day.
Sometimes, even if it is his day off, he needs to go somewhere or needs to unwind. He always looks at his phone or spends extra time in the bathroom.
When you have him all alone, he would rather sleep than cuddle and talk. You would feel these changes because they’re pretty obvious. Some signs don’t need to be said out loud because your heart would know.
8. He no longer invites you to go out
You used to go out and check out coffee shops or restaurants.
Now, he always has reasons, or maybe, he just doesn’t invite you to go out anymore. You might start to feel like he’s slowly distancing himself from you and starts to avoid the things that will work on your intimacy.
Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini explains the 5 types of intimacy and why are they important.
9. He feels distant
You feel it, don’t you?
He slowly becomes a stranger. The man who used to be so passionate, intimate, romantic, and attentive has changed.
You don’t feel the connection anymore. You feel that he’s distant, and at times, it may seem that he doesn’t want to look into your eyes. The most common reason is that he’s already falling for someone else.
10. He doesn’t say ‘I love you’ as often
“Is my boyfriend cheating? He no longer says that he loves me.”
Again, routines are hard to change, not unless something is going on. When you have been together for some time, saying the three-letter word is like wearing your underwear.
You can’t go out without reminding your partner that you love her.
But what if he does? What if one day, he just leaves without saying it? Maybe, it’s just a mistake, but if you feel like he’s avoiding saying it to you, even if you’re the one who said it first, that means he’s having an affair.
You’re being sweet and caring, so you want to fix his luggage, but he suddenly acts weird and asks you to stop.
Or maybe, he seems to be extra secretive about his wallet, his car, and even his clothes. If you feel that something is going on and it’s not his usual behavior, then you’re right. He might be having an affair.
15. His phone password changed
“He changed his phone and social media passwords and asked for privacy. Is my boyfriend cheating?”
If he was open to you before and all of a sudden, he values his privacy, then your suspicions might be correct. One more thing, you might notice that his phone is always with him, which he didn’t do before.
When you’re in the mood, sex can be awesome, but what if your partner suddenly shows off a different persona in bed?
Well, it could be because of porn movies, but trust your intuition on this. It feels different when a man has learned a new trick from a new lady. Most of the time, a man who wants to try new moves in bed wouldn’t be flawless with it, not unless he’s been practicing.
22. Your friends notice it
Sometimes, it is our friends who we can turn to when we are in doubt.
They would be the ones who will tell you the things that they notice, the things that you fail to accept, and sometimes, the signs they notice before you do.
You would be surprise that friends can notice these signs first before you do, and that’s also normal.
23. Always out with ‘friends’ excuses
It’s okay for your boyfriend to go out with his friends, but what if, all of a sudden, they have weekly plans that don’t include you?
There can also be cases where his friends are always asking for him. Feels weird? Then, maybe he is just using them as excuses.
24. He hates it when you ask about his friends or coworkers
After noticing about his frequent boy’s out and his friends asking for his help weekly, you are bound to get curious and end up asking about them.
This is where the other signs your boyfriend is cheating come in.
His usual response is to tag you along or explain what’s going on. However, if your boyfriend suddenly gets defensive or irritated, he might be hiding something from you.
25. Midnight calls and texts
You woke up in the middle of the night, and your boyfriend was not in bed. He’s outside talking to someone. Who would call him at this hour?
Maybe, you would see his phone light up, which means someone messaged him.
Again, who would do that in the middle of the night?
If it’s an emergency, you would probably know. Sadly, if your boyfriend asks you to let the issue go or finds some excuse, you might want to consider digging deeper.
26. His excuses don’t add up
Have you ever caught your boyfriend trying to find an excuse and end up telling you things that don’t add up?
There is no perfect cover-up. Sooner or later, your boyfriend might spill some information or even tell you something that won’t add up.
He may say that he was hanging out with someone, but you saw this person in the bakery.
27. He talks about getting a break from your relationship
Instead of talking about your future, you might notice that he has started giving hints about taking a relationship break.
You can also notice him being quiet when you are making plans.
You feel that he avoids specific topics, especially when you’re talking about your relationship or your future.
What should you do if you think your boyfriend is cheating?
Here’s what to do if you think he’s cheating.
First, be strong and get yourself together. It’s normal to feel angry because the man you love betrayed you. The next step will depend on you and your partner.
If the secret is out in the open, you need to talk about it. Assess the situation and yourselves.
Why is he cheating? Can you still forgive him? Does he want to stay?
These are just some questions that you need to address. Cheating is a major scar on a relationship.
“My boyfriend cheated on me what should I do?”
Once you’ve talked about your relationship, take time. Put yourself first. You can talk to a trusted family member, a friend, or a therapist.
Take your time before you decide if you should stay or leave. Think of yourself and your kids, if you have any.
It’s hard to plan what to do when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating. You have to confirm your suspicion first, and these signs would help.
A person may show some of these signs and not be a cheater. He may be busy with work or a problem in the office he can’t talk.
That’s why it’s not advisable to jump into conclusion without enough evidence.
“Is my boyfriend cheating? Does he deserve another chance?”
If everything adds up and you’ve confirmed your suspicion, the next part is all about communication. You are to decide if your boyfriend is deserving of a second chance, but remember, by giving him a second chance, you’re risking your heart again.
Think of yourself first and heal. Don’t rush and seek help. A family member, a friend, or a therapist can help you decide.
Just remember this, love yourself first and know when to let go.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.