My Husband Left Me for Another Woman – Accepting the Reality

It is January 01, 2018. In the gloomy pale shadow of the night, Samantha lies on her bed. Her head kept onto the tear-soaked pillow feels like bursting with pain while she thinks about why her husband left her for another woman.

Samantha is 30 years old, looks 3 years younger. She is smart and healthy. When seen through anyone else’s lens, she’s beautiful. When seen through her own lens, she’s boring, dull and unattractive.

Now, one might ask why that is. Why does Samantha not see herself as much of an appealing human being? That is because she has been, very recently, left by her husband for another woman.

Her husband, apparently, had been having an affair with a 25-year-old olive skinned, thin, and tall girl who dreams of becoming a model one day. With her perfect hair and amazing walk, she can make anyone fall head over heels for her.

Except for the ones who are really in love.

The effects of love

When a person is in love, they do not drool over shinny long legs, or beautiful auburn hair and a sexy walk. When a person is in love, they do not leave a 30-year-old ambitious woman for a 24-year-old wannabe model.

When a person is in love, they see beautiful people everywhere, but they have eyes only for the person they love.

At the age of 30, what Samantha does not realize is that it wasn’t because of her skin, her age or her brain that her husband left her. It was because he was a jerk and never knew how to love.

Like so many other women, Samantha became depressed post-breakup. It wasn’t so much her breakup that broke her so badly, but the fact that her husband left her for someone she thinks is better looking and more beautiful.

Women do not realize that the only reason a man can leave one woman for another is that he is a jerk and was never in love.

He was a coward and didn’t know of loyalty.

The aftereffects of a man leaving a woman

When a man leaves a woman, she usually thinks it was because of her own faults, shortcomings and mistakes. She usually thinks of the things she lacks which would have made him stay had she possessed those things, like youth, glow and charm.

Like any other woman facing a breakup because of the fact that her man left her for another woman, Samantha is intensely aware of her imperfections right now.

Along with being extremely hurt, she is also very insecure.

She can clearly see the blemishes on her face, the pimples on her forehead, the extra flesh on her stomach, her short eyelashes, her ugly hairline. She can see everything bad about her except the one and only bad thing that really exists – her wrong decision of marrying a man like the jerk.

Samantha and so many other women like her blame themselves for another person’s cowardice and shortcomings. This is unacceptable yet woven into the fabric of our society.

Victim blaming – always playing the blame game

Fast-forwarding – It’s 01 November 2018, and Samantha has finally stopped crying.

She is not insecure anymore. She does not look longingly at younger, youthful women. She usually finds herself thinking about all the things she is grateful for and all the ways in which she is amazing.

She now understands that is very common in our society for people to blame women even for the mistakes of men. More often than men, women are found blaming another woman for the mistakes and faults of men.

So, not surprisingly, Samantha is also found hearing things like, you should’ve done this to keep him, you should’ve done that to keep him, and you should have worn your hair shorter and worn your dresses tighter.

Hearing everyone else blame her for her husband leaving her, Samantha stops them in the mid of their sentences, because finally, she has understood that it wasn’t her fault that her husband left her for another woman.

When asked, she tells people “My husband left me, but not for another woman. He left me because he was a coward who shied away from loyalty and long-term commitment.”

Now, the only bad thing Samantha finds in herself is the regret over not choosing the right person for herself.

It is never your fault

It is mandatory that this message is shared with all the Samanthas out there.

Your husband did not leave you for another woman. Your husband did not leave you because you were anything less than another human being in any way. Your guy did not leave you because you weren’t pretty or tall enough.

According to Maggie Martinez, LCSW:

A husband’s decision to leave his wife for someone younger says more about where he is in life than about you.

He left you because he never knew of love. He left you because he had no guts and no sense of loyalty.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less