How to Stay Strong Through a Divorce: 13 Tips

Some days it feels like the ground has been pulled from under you, doesn’t it? 

Divorce can leave you questioning everything—your past, your future, even yourself. One moment you’re fine, the next you’re overwhelmed by memories, paperwork, or silence. Friends may say, “you’ll be okay,” but what does that really mean? 

Life feels different now… slower, heavier, yet strangely open. It’s not easy figuring out how to stay strong through a divorce when your heart is tender and your mind is racing. Still, strength shows up in unexpected places—small victories, kind words, even in just making it through today.

How to stay strong through a divorce: 13 tips

Learning how to stay strong through a divorce isn’t about never breaking down—it’s about finding ways to keep moving, even on tough days. 

Staying strong through a divorce means leaning on support, caring for yourself, and trusting that healing will come, one small step at a time.

Let us look at the following ways to stay positive throughout the divorce process.

1. Recognize that it took courage to divorce  

Many people resign themselves to staying in bad marriages out of fear: fear of change, of being alone, of not wanting to take a risk, finding the courage to divorce took guts.

According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:

The decision to divorce and want something that will help create a healthier you is admirable.

Congratulate yourself for wanting a better life.  You may not see them now, but the positive things about divorce will reveal themselves in time.

• Remember: Courage doesn’t mean you weren’t afraid—it means you chose to act despite the fear, and that strength will guide you forward.

2. Allow all your emotions to flow  

In addition to learning how to stay strong through a divorce phase, it may bring up other memories of loss, abandonment, and even loneliness.  Allow yourself to feel everything.  Let the tears flow.  

Cry, wail, or even hit a pillow if you feel the need. Some people designate a “let it out time” each day, 10 minutes devoted to emotional release, after which you gather yourself together and carry on with your routine. This might sound mechanical, but it helps!

• Remember: Letting your feelings out is a sign of healing, not weakness.

3. Be kind to yourself

If there were ever a moment to practice great self-care, this is it.  Part of staying strong through a divorce should include daily practices of treating yourself with tenderness. 

Incorporate quotes about staying strong through divorce, such as “I am a worthy, valuable person” or “People are drawn to my inner light,” especially when your brain is dwelling on the pain of divorce and telling you otherwise. 

• Remember: Talk to yourself the way you would comfort a dear friend.

4. Give yourself time to recover  

If you start feeling critical of yourself because you think you “should be” over the pain by now, give yourself a break. When considering how to stay strong through a divorce, it takes time. Stay strong and positive.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, further shares:

There is no playbook for how to handle emotions after a divorce. You will likely cycle through various stages of emotions, and that’s completely normal.

Know that eventually, with the passage of time, your good days will outnumber your bad days.

• Remember: Healing doesn’t follow a schedule—your pace is perfectly okay.

5. Start rebuilding who you are  

Many married people have a tendency to “blend” personalities, erasing their own personal passions.  Use the divorce to rediscover who YOU are. Now that you are single, make a list of hobbies that you let go of during your marriage and what you might do to get back to those.  

Doing activities that you put aside during your marriage will help you stay positive during the divorce.

• Remember: Exploring old passions or new ones helps you reconnect with yourself.

6. Take a trip on your own

Discovering a place totally new to you can help in remaining positive.  Where have you dreamed of traveling?  Now’s the time to make that happen!  Traveling solo is a fantastic way to build a sense of fierceness, which can help you survive divorce emotionally.  

Book a trip to somewhere you’ve never been.  Nothing amplifies the feeling of staying strong through divorce more than the challenge of exploring new lands!

• Remember: Every new place you see can remind you how capable you really are.

7. Start a gratitude practice  

Journaling three things for which you are grateful each day can be one of your positive thinking strategies.  

Taking a daily moment to observe gratitude has been proven to help with mental focus and physical energy, helping to stay positive and stay strong.  It reminds you of the good that is out there in the world.  

• Remember: Even small blessings count—they’re proof that good still exists in your life.

8. Take utmost care with your diet and physical exercise

Important to stay strong through a divorce by not allowing yourself to be tempted to buffer your pain by eating unhealthy foods or lying around on the couch watching endless hours of mind-numbing TV.  

Those practices will only lead you down the spiral of depression, making staying strong through a divorce more difficult.  Instead, eat a balanced diet, including fresh fruits and vegetables, some high-quality dark chocolate (lifts your mood), and practice plenty of outdoor movement, where the sunlight will enhance your spirits.

• Remember: Nourishing your body is another way of taking care of your heart.

9. You do not have to do this alone

Are you trying to stay strong all by yourself, but it isn’t working yet?  

Reaching out to trusted friends and family is also vital to your well-being, but having a therapist who is neutral and trained in how to help with staying strong through a divorce can be an important member of your support team.

• Remember: Asking for help is a strength—it means you value your well-being.

10. Recognize that divorce is not the end of your life.  

It may seem like it sometimes, but truly, divorce is not the end of your life.  It is merely the end of one part of your life.  You still have a long road ahead of you, filled with new discoveries, new challenges, new growth, and who knows?  New love! 

Maggie Martinez highlights that:

Just because you went through a divorce doesn’t mean all your goals are no longer important. In fact, this helps you focus more on those goals.

• Remember: This is a new chapter, and new beginnings can still hold joy.

11. Create healthy boundaries with your ex

Learning how to stay strong through a divorce often means setting clear limits with your ex, especially when communication is necessary for co-parenting or shared responsibilities. Boundaries protect your peace, reduce unnecessary conflict, and give you space to heal without reopening old wounds.

• Remember: Saying “no” when you need to is part of protecting your well-being.

12. Focus on financial independence

Staying strong through a divorce isn’t just emotional—it’s also practical. Building or rebuilding financial stability can restore confidence and give you a sense of control over your future. Start with small steps like budgeting, saving, and seeking professional advice if needed.

• Remember: Every small financial decision is an investment in your independence and security.

13. Surround yourself with positive influences

The people you spend time with can deeply affect your outlook. Stay close to those who uplift, encourage, and remind you of your worth. Positive environments make the difficult days a little lighter and help you regain hope.

• Remember: Choose connections that make you feel stronger, calmer, and more yourself.

7 ways to rebuild life with hope

Life after divorce can feel like stepping into an unfamiliar world—uncertain, overwhelming, and sometimes lonely. But rebuilding is possible, and it doesn’t have to happen all at once. By focusing on small, intentional steps, you can gradually create a life filled with hope, strength, and joy again.

1. Find laughter again

Laughter is medicine for the soul, especially when life feels heavy. Watching a funny movie, sharing silly moments with friends, or even laughing at yourself can lift your mood. Joy doesn’t have to be complicated—it can start with a smile.

• Example: Hosting a casual movie night with friends to enjoy a lighthearted comedy.

2. Explore your creative side

Creativity is a powerful outlet for healing and expression. Whether through painting, writing, music, or cooking, it can give you a fresh sense of purpose and fun. Creative activities also build confidence by reminding you of your unique abilities.

• Example: Starting a personal sketchbook or trying out a beginner’s pottery class.

3. Spend time in nature

Nature has a calming, restorative effect that helps shift perspective. A walk in the park, gardening, or even sitting outside can reconnect you with peace and beauty. These moments remind you that life continues to grow and bloom.

• Example: Spending Saturday mornings tending to a small garden or balcony plants.

4. Volunteer and give back

Helping others can reignite a sense of meaning and joy. Volunteering connects you to people, reduces isolation, and builds gratitude. Even small acts of kindness can create positive energy and remind you of your own strength.

• Example: Volunteering a few hours at a local animal shelter or food bank.

5. Try something adventurous

New experiences spark excitement and help you see life differently. Adventure doesn’t always mean skydiving—it can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or learning a dance. Taking risks, big or small, builds confidence and joy.

• Example: Signing up for a weekend salsa or Zumba class.

6. Reconnect with friends, old and new

Friendships often bring laughter, comfort, and belonging. Reaching out to old friends or forming new connections can bring light back into your life. Relationships based on positivity and support remind you of the joy of connection.

• Example: Calling an old college friend and planning a catch-up coffee date.

Watch this TED Talk by Mike Duffy, a happiness researcher and author, who shares how deep friendships power our happiness and well‑being. 

7. Celebrate small milestones

Every step forward is worth celebrating. Whether it’s a week of consistent self-care, finishing a book, or simply feeling good on a tough day, acknowledging progress fuels hope. Celebrations—no matter how small—help joy take root again.

• Example: Treating yourself to a nice meal after completing a personal goal.

FAQ

Divorce brings up countless questions, and it’s natural to seek clear answers. Here are some quick responses to a few common concerns people have while navigating this transition.

• How long does it take to heal after a divorce?

There’s no set timeline—healing can take months or even years. What matters most is allowing yourself to grieve and grow at your own pace.

• Should I stay friends with my ex?

It depends on your situation. If contact is respectful and healthy, friendship may work. But if it brings pain or conflict, boundaries are more important than forced closeness.

• How can I stay strong for my kids during a divorce?

Be honest but age-appropriate, keep routines steady, and show them love consistently. Children cope better when they feel secure and see their parents managing with calm strength.

New beginnings

Divorce may feel like the end, but it can also be the beginning of something new. The journey isn’t about never feeling pain—it’s about finding strength, rediscovering yourself, and slowly welcoming joy back into your life. 

With patience, support, and self-compassion, you can rebuild with hope and courage. Remember, each small step matters—every boundary you set, every goal you reach, and every moment of peace you create is proof that you are moving forward toward a brighter chapter.