3 Empowering Steps to Move on for the Recently Divorced

Divorce can be one of the most challenging life events an individual can experience, marked by emotional turmoil, uncertainty, and significant life changes. However, it also presents an opportunity for personal growth, transformation, and the beginning of a new chapter. 

Thus, for those who have recently divorced and experienced the end of their marriage, we are here to help you move forward, offering practical advice and emotional support.

7 common challenges faced by individuals after divorce

Life after a divorce can present a myriad of challenges that can affect almost every aspect of an individual’s existence, from personal identity to social relationships.

While the process of moving on after divorce can be daunting, understanding these challenges is the first step toward healing and rebuilding. Here are 7 common challenges individuals face after divorce, each offering an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.

1. Emotional turbulence

The emotional aftermath of a divorce can resemble a rollercoaster, with highs of relief and newfound freedom interspersed with lows of grief, sadness, and fear. 

Healing after divorce requires managing these emotions, acknowledging them without judgment, and understanding that they are a natural part of the healing process. Accepting your feelings as they come can pave the way for emotional stability.

2. Reconstructing identity

Divorce often prompts an identity crisis, as many people define themselves in relation to their partner and the union they share. 

Starting over after divorce involves reevaluating who you are outside of the relationship and rediscovering personal interests, values, and aspirations. This journey of self-discovery can be empowering, providing a foundation for a fulfilling life ahead.

3. Adjusting to single parenthood

For those with children, divorce introduces the challenge of adapting to single parenthood, which includes managing logistical responsibilities single-handedly and coping with the emotional impact of the divorce on your children. 

Establishing a co-parenting strategy that prioritizes the well-being of the children is crucial, as is finding a balance between being a supportive parent and taking time for self-care.

4. Financial restructuring

The financial implications of divorce, such as the division of assets, alimony, child support, and the costs of setting up a new household, can lead to significant stress. 

Educating yourself about personal finance, creating a budget, and planning for the future are vital steps in coping with divorce and ensuring financial independence and security.

5. Shifts in social dynamics

Divorce can significantly alter your social life, affecting relationships with friends, family, and acquaintances. 

Some may find their social circle shrinking or changing as mutual friends choose sides or as they no longer fit into couples-oriented activities. Building a new support network and exploring different social opportunities are essential for moving forward.

6. Letting go of shared dreams

Part of moving forward after divorce involves mourning the loss of the future you had envisioned with your partner. 

It can be one of the most painful aspects of a breakup, as it requires letting go of shared dreams and making peace with the reality that those plans will no longer come to fruition. 

Creating new personal goals and dreams is a step toward healing and rebuilding a hopeful future.

7. The dating scene

For those interested in recently divorced and dating, reentering the dating world can feel intimidating and fraught with uncertainty. 

The dating landscape may have changed significantly since they were last single, and the idea of opening up to someone new can be daunting. Taking it slow and focusing on self-discovery before diving into dating can make this transition smoother and more enjoyable.

13 tips for moving on if you have been recently divorced

Moving on after a divorce can feel like sailing uncharted waters. For those recently divorced, the path to healing and rebuilding encompasses a range of actions—from embracing your emotions to setting new goals. 

Here are 13 tips designed to aid in divorce recovery, helping you build resilience and move on to building a new life after divorce.

1. Accept your emotions

It’s normal to experience a wide range of feelings after a divorce. Accepting your emotions without judgment is crucial for those recently divorced. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, relief, or whatever comes up, understanding that these emotions are part of the healing process.

2. Lean on your support network

Whether it’s friends, family, or a support group, having a network of people to lean on can be invaluable for someone recently divorced. 

These individuals can offer a listening ear, advice, and distractions when you need them most. This can work as post-divorce support and becomes a foundation upon which you can rely, offering both emotional and practical support. 

3. Prioritize self-care

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential during this time. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and do things that make you feel good about yourself. Self-care is a powerful tool for overcoming divorce and rebuilding your sense of self.

4. Rediscover your interests

Often, marriage can lead to individuals putting their interests and hobbies aside. If you’ve been recently divorced, now is the time to rediscover what brings you joy and fulfillment outside a relationship. This exploration is a critical step in finding happiness after divorce.

5. Set new goals

Creating new goals for yourself can provide direction and a sense of purpose. Whether these goals are career-oriented, personal development, or hobbies, they can motivate you to move forward and focus on the future. 

Setting these goals helps to redirect your energy towards positive growth and development, offering a roadmap for rebuilding your life. 

6. Embrace solitude

Learning to be comfortable on your own is an essential part of divorce recovery. Use this time to reflect, meditate, or simply enjoy your own company. Finding peace in solitude allows you to reconnect with your inner self, exploring personal desires, ambitions, and areas for self-improvement. 

7. Cultivate a mindfulness practice

For those recently divorced, establishing a mindfulness practice can be a transformative way to handle the complexities of your emotions and the stress of life changes. 

Mindfulness — the act of being fully present at the moment, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, without being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us — can offer a sense of peace and stability amidst the turmoil of divorce.

8. Limit contact with your ex

If possible, limiting interaction with your ex-spouse can help you focus on healing and moving forward. Constant contact can reopen wounds and hinder your ability to start anew. By establishing boundaries, you can protect your emotional space, allowing yourself the time and peace needed to adjust to your new reality.

9. Explore new social outlets

Building a new life after divorce may mean finding new social circles or activities. Join clubs, volunteer, or attend events related to your interests to meet new people and build a supportive community. 

These activities not only enrich your life with new friendships and experiences but also reinforce your sense of identity and self-worth. 

10. Practice gratitude

Focusing on the positives in your life, no matter how small, can shift your perspective and cultivate resilience. Gratitude can be a powerful tool in overcoming divorce and embracing your new reality. 

Cultivating a habit of gratitude helps to highlight the good in your life, encouraging a positive outlook and diminishing the impact of negative emotions. 

11. Forgive yourself and your ex

Forgiveness is a key component of healing. Holding onto anger or resentment can hold you back. 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing to let go of negative emotions that can hinder your growth. This process is essential for emotional freedom, allowing you to move forward without the weight of past grievances. 

12. Consider the needs of your children

If you have children, their well-being should be a priority. Ensure they feel loved and secure, and maintain open communication to help them manage the changes in their family dynamics.

Prioritizing your children’s needs involves creating a stable and supportive environment, reassuring them of both parents’ love, and addressing their concerns with honesty and sensitivity.

Watch this TED Talk where Herve G Wery talks about divorce and separation and why you should not stop loving your children during this stage of life:

13. Stay open to new possibilities

Being recently divorced may feel like an end, but it’s also a beginning. Stay open to new relationships, experiences, and opportunities. Embracing change can lead to unexpected joys and fulfillment.

Such openness to the new and unknown can reinvigorate your life with excitement and adventure, reminding you that the end of a marriage is not the end of happiness. 

How can seeking professional guidance benefit the healing process?

Professional guidance, whether through therapy, counseling, or coaching, offers a structured and supportive environment for individuals to process their emotions and experiences after divorce. 

Therapists can help identify and work through underlying issues, offer strategies for managing stress and anxiety, and assist in setting goals for the future. Professional support can accelerate the healing process of divorce, providing clarity and direction during a tumultuous time.

FAQs

Undertaking a journey after divorce can raise numerous questions about personal growth, healing, and starting anew. Here are answers to some frequently asked questions that might help manage this transformative phase:

• How do I restart my life after divorce?

Restarting life after divorce involves self-reflection, setting new goals, and embracing change. Prioritize self-care, build a supportive network, and explore new interests or hobbies. It’s a time to rediscover who you are outside of the marriage and what you want from life moving forward.

• How long does it take to recover from a divorce emotionally?

Emotional recovery from divorce varies significantly among individuals and depends on numerous factors, including the circumstances of the divorce, the length of the marriage, and personal resilience. Recovery can take anywhere from a few months to several years, but gradually, with support and self-care, healing occurs.

• How do I start over after divorce at 60?

Starting over after divorce at 60 involves embracing the opportunity for a new beginning. Focus on health, nurture social connections, and engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. Financial planning and exploring new hobbies or volunteer work to enrich your life are also crucial at this stage.

• What is the home phase after divorce?

The “home phase” after divorce is a period of adjustment and rebuilding where you create a new sense of normalcy and security for yourself (and possibly your family). 

It involves establishing new routines, redecorating or moving to a new space to reflect your new start, and making your living environment a comforting and empowering sanctuary.

Key takeaway

Divorce, while challenging, is not the end of the road—it’s a detour on the journey of life. By confronting the challenges head-on, seeking support, and focusing on personal growth, individuals can emerge from this experience stronger and more resilient. 

Remember, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting the past; it means building a new future with wisdom gained from experience. Embrace the journey with patience and optimism, and know that happiness and fulfillment are within reach.