Building a marriage is the same as building a house. If you have cracks in your foundation, you need to fix them early or everything will crumble.
In This Article
It is wrong to say that divorce is never an option, but before you consider it, look back into your marriage and think is there any way by which the marriage can be saved or not? Learn how to stop a divorce you don’t want and work on your marriage before things go out-of-hand.
It’s important to identify and address any problems in your marriage as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more damage they do and this can result in disconnection and divorce.
How to stop a divorce?
Following are a few suggestions or steps to stop a divorce.
1. Understand your own and each other’s expectations
A marriage is the lifelong process of coming to know another person.
This means not only what makes your spouse special, but also what they want and need from you. Rather than making assumptions and feeling confused, communicate with your partner. Start by telling them when their behavior isn’t fulfilling your needs, how that makes you feel and what you’d like them to do differently.
If you can be clear about this and free of judgment, then your partner will learn to share their own needs as well. And, maybe you can learn how to save a marriage from divorce.
It can be difficult to raise these issues but there really is no alternative. There’s no way to “grin and bear it” for your entire life. Make your expectations known now rather than exploding later.
2. Fight better, not less
All interpersonal relationships come with conflict, especially marriage. If you try to avoid fighting altogether, you’re going to create resentment on both sides.
Instead, fight without losing sight of the love you have for one another. Remember that your spouse is not the enemy. You are trying to understand them and find a compromise that works. Avoid raising your voice, straying from the topic at hand, and making absolute statements.
Fighting the right way can actually bring the two of you closer together.
It’s about communicating your feelings to one another in a way that’s constructive.
3. Discuss marriage and divorce
A divorce often comes as a shock to one spouse.
This is because we romanticize marriage and refuse to consider any other possibility. We’d rather not think about or discuss our marriage ending but ignoring this possibility isn’t the answer.
Be honest with yourself about reasons you’d divorce your partner.
Would you stay with them if they cheated? What if they decided they wanted a very different life than you? What if your spouse kept secrets and made decisions without considering your feelings?
It doesn’t feel very good to think about this stuff but if you face it head on, you can stop these problems before they start.
For example –
if you find you and your spouse are fighting about how to handle your money and you know that feeling financially insecure is a dealbreaker for you, you’ll know to focus on this problem directly before things get worse.
Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
4. Focus on the good
Divorce is inevitable when you can no longer see what makes you happy to be with your partner and in your marriage.
Every marriage has peaks and valleys.
Make sure to appreciate the view from the top rather than dwelling on the darkness.
Remember what brought you two together and find ways to recapture that in your everyday life. Keeping the spark alive shouldn’t be complicated and stressful. It can be as simple as taking time to go to the movies together like you did when you were dating, or holding hands on a walk through the park.
Moments like this will keep you two happy together for the rest of your lives.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.