1. How do you feel inside the marriage?
A. Unhappy, indifferent, irritable, desperate
B. Confused, angry, closed off, hopeful
C. Happy, stable, vulnerable, calm
2. How is your sex life?
A. We have had less sex recently, or go to bed at different times. I can sometimes feel the tension when we get intimate.
B. We rarely have sex or share the same bed anymore. When we do, it seems devoid of emotions.
C. We have a normal amount of sex and want to spend time together in bed. It feels warm and fulfilling.
3. Do you spend time together with your spouse?
A. We barely do it anymore, we seem to have found more pleasant activities apart from each other
B. Even if we have other stuff to do, we try to make time for each other
C. We do it more and more rarely, there is always something that seems more important
4. When you are together, how do you communicate?
A. We can talk about the important things, how we feel and what we truly want, or simply have a good time together
B. We do not seem to share what is truly important to us anymore, we seem to be misunderstanding one another and end up having a fight
C. We rarely do that anymore, we seem to have nothing to say to each other and end up being irritated at one another when we talk
5. Do you feel emotionally close to your spouse?
A. Less and less with time
6. Something very good or very bad happens to you, and you can only call one person. Who is the first one you want to phone?
A. My spouse, of course
B. My spouse, although I do not feel that he would be there for me recently
C. A close friend or another family member
7. Do you feel like you and your spouse share the same values and priorities?
A. I can see that we have grown apart inside our marriage, we seem to see the world in a completely different way
B. Even after all this time, what we hold dear and how we see the world has evolved in the same direction for both of us
C. We seem to have some differences that often result in arguments, yet we still hold a common vision for the future
8. Do you feel the trust and respect between you?
A. We have always held these in high regard, and I can genuinely feel them in our connection still
B. We have said so many things to each other, and done so much, I feel like we have lost both
C. We may get mean to each other and sometimes react without thinking, yet I still feel like I can trust them
9. When you imagine a happy future far ahead, do you see your spouse in it?
A. We are in love and building our future together
B. They are there, and things between us are better than they are now
C. As much as I want to, they seem to be out of the picture
10. What keeps you together with your spouse?
A. We still love each other, although we are having a rough time latelyrn
B. We have kids/share a house/finances/something else, it is just easier this wayrn
C. We love and care about each other, and want to grow togethe