People should come together not out of insecurity but out of love. Seeking your own happiness in other people is only going to make you sadder. You have to feel complete on your own so that you can add value to any relationship. Most people want to be in a relationship because being close to someone is part of our human nature. People are happy when they are in a fulfilled, balanced relationship, and are able to achieve much more in life this way, both personally and professionally. However, there are people who can’t stand being single and would enter any relationship just to feel safe and know they belong to someone. This approach is harmful– it means being a codependent relationship. Before being happy with someone, you need to be happy with yourself. So, are you one of those dependent people? Take are you in a codependent relationship quiz to find out.
1. You call your partner five times in a row, and they don’t answer. What comes to your mind first?
A. Maybe they are busy or away from the phone
B. Maybe something is going wrong
C. Maybe they are cheating on me right now
2. Have you changed your tastes and opinions just to match your partner’s?
A. I would never do that
B. Sometimes, just to make them feel good
C. Always, otherwise they would think we are too different
3. Your partner has been assigned a big project at work. How do you respond?
A. You call them to check on them
B. You show up at work because they have been pulling long days at work
C. You are elated and support you in every way possible
4. Your partner has an addiction problem and can’t go to work. What do you do?
A. You ask your partner to get out of bed and call their supervisor
B. You come up with an excuse and inform the supervisor
C. You instruct your partner what to say and bring their phone
5. Does your partner constantly complain about how difficult life is, and you handle everything for them?
A. Never
B. Only when they are overwhelmed
C. Always
6. Are you afraid to express your genuine feelings to your partner?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. Why would I be afraid?
7. Is much of your day taken up with trying to do everything for your partner?
A. Frequently
B. Hardly
C. No, my days are quite balanced
8. You are facing issues with one of your friends. Which one of these best describes what you would do?
A. You invite your friend to come to your house so that you and your partner can discuss the issue
B. You beg your partner to accompany you to your friend’s house so you can sort things in their presence
C. You make plans of having dinner with your friend, so you sort things on your own
9. Your partner has a gambling addiction and often seeks financial aid from friends and family.
A. You don’t give the money to your partner, but you do lend them a ride to the casino
B. You inform all the family and friends not to give your partner any money until his gambling is in control
C. You decide to accompany your partner to the casino to control his gambling
10. Your friends often tell you that you don’t have time for them anymore.
A. They make that remark, but you don’t care
B. Sometimes you forget, but when they mention it, you make it a point to hang out with them
C. You have no friends since you started dating your partner
11. What do you do when your partner is away on business?
A. You feel sad that your partner is going away, but you are excited about spending time alone
B. You decide to pay your partner a surprise visit
C. You can’t stay without your partner, so you decide to accompany them on the work trip
12. How will you help your partner prepare for an interview?
A. You help them pick an outfit and get dressed for the interview
B. You wish them good luck and ask if there is anything you can do to help
C. You sit in the waiting room and wait till your partner’s interview is over to get to know how it went.
13. You two are out, and your partner needs to go to the restroom. What do you do?
A. I don’t even notice
B. Ask them if I can join
C. Go with them and wait at the door
14. Do you talk with your partner before making a decision?
A. No
B. Yes, always
C. Only if it’s something important and relevant for both of us
15. Do you ever go out with your friends and let your partner stay at home?
A. Yes, I think it is important to spend time separately as well
B. No, but I wish I did
C. No, I can’t stay away from my partner
16. You get into an ugly conflict with your friend or neighbor. What do you do?
A. I handle the conflict all by myself
B. I handle it by myself but also talk about it with my partner
C. I request my partner to come and defend me
17. Your partner says they want to break up with you. What is your reaction?
A. I am sad, but I respect their choice
B. I ask them to provide the reason
C. I tell them I will commit suicide or harm myself in other ways
18. How do you feel when you are not with your partner?
A. Completely normal
B. A bit sad
C. Miserable and lost
19. How often do you text your partner?
A. Only when I need to tell them something important
B. A couple of times a day
C. At least once every hour
20. Your partner is bothered by something you have said or done. What do you do?
A. Beg them to forgive me
B. Wait for them to get over it
C. Apologise and give them space
