What Should You Do If Your Wife Is Lazy?

Do you ever get the feeling that you are working way too hard in your marriage?

You struggle to support your relationship while your wife sits back at home doing nothing.

Such thoughts can really destroy a marriage. After all, laziness in a marriage is not only frustrating, it can create resentment in a spouse who feels like he’s doing all the work. Eventually, disappointment mixed with anger can curtail communication.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, notes that,

Balance is essential for a successful marriage. Neither partner should think that the other is lazy or absent. Both partners need to feel valued and respected.

So, if you start noticing that your wife is lazy, it’s time you do something about it. It is important to nip laziness in the bud. This can only happen if this problem is acknowledged and worked upon by both partners.

Here are 4 solutions you can consider:

1. Communicate and confront her

There is always a reason why someone is not being productive. Your wife may be going through something that she is not willing to talk about. Initiate the conversation and openly discuss the matter. Tell her what you think about her attitude and ask her about her possible problems.

Inquire about her physical and mental well-being.

For example, people suffering from depression tend to feel very lethargic. When depression takes its toll, people are usually unaware of it too. You may also want to ask her about her general satisfaction with you and your marriage. Try to get details out of her so you can understand what she may be going through.

Maggie Martinez points out,

If there are no problems, only speaking can set a great basis for further development towards productivity. One thing is extremely important to take into account – do not argue.

Try to solve the problem one day at a time; don’t make her feel like you’re being too pushy.

2. Encourage her and offer your support

Actually, lazy people tend to have really creative ideas when it comes to solving problems. It is often the case that most creative people are lazy. Explore your wife’s talents and encourage her to take guitar or painting lessons if she enjoys that. If your wife happens to be a good cook as well, praise her food.

Some people just need a pat on the back to keep them going and to go out and start working really hard. If your wife already has a job, get to know more about it.

On the other hand, some people need someone really strict to tell them what to do. If your wife is like that, she may appreciate such a gesture. It may just be the thing she needs.

Related Reading: Signs of a Lazy Husband and How to Deal With Him

3. Understand your own motivations

Ask yourself if this is a sudden change of behavior you are noticing in your wife or was it a trait from long-before. You also need to examine your own motivations.

Do you really want to inspire a positive change in your wife and help her address her laziness, or is it just about proving a point?

• If the goal is the former, then you’re on the right track. Both partners need to be a source of positive reinforcement and influence each other to be the best they can possibly be.
• If it is the latter, then understand that your wife is unlikely to take you seriously.

Don’t let her laziness make you think any less of her. Influence and help her to address the matter instead.

Expert Maggie Martinez states,

4. Check your behavior

Have you scolded her for this shortcoming? Have you made sarcastic remarks about her laziness that have resulted in fights?

If yes, then understand that having such an attitude is not going to serve any purpose. Feelings of anger, frustration, and disappointment are natural but you need to express yourself in a respectful manner. Don’t hurt her sentiments. Appreciate her work and efforts when she does things and egg her on to achieve more.

Whether it is at her workplace or at home, she sets an example for her, which reveals that having a resigned attitude never helped anyone in life. To improve things, all of us need to work and contribute to our well-being around.

To sum up, laziness is something we all experience from time to time. But when it happens constantly and results in the other person working much more, it can result in serious discontentment.

Addressing and solving the matter can be an exercise in patience, but it is absolutely worth it! Work together with your partner to solve this and help each other grow as individuals.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less