5 Ways to Spice up Your Marriage

Marriage is a unique gift that brings challenges like no other and yet at the same time it can be so rewarding. Many marriages experience a plateau at certain intervals during the relationship cycle.

There are times when everything seems “boring”, routines are in vogue and the chatter is all the same. The doldrums are the new game in town.

If you are anything like most couples, we all need our marriages to be enlivened with new energy and invigoration. And this does not magically appear. There has to be intention about bringing fun and excitement to the relationship.

So here are 5 ways to spice up your marriage.

As a Caribbean-American islander, spice is essential to the taste of our food. Spice removes that bland palate and gives “pep in your step” or vigor to your taste buds. From the spiciness of pepper and ginger to the “herbfulness” of cardamom and star anise, Spice adds flavor.

So, let’s talk about 5 ways to add flavor to your marriage 

1. Add the six-second kiss to your daily routine

Do this everyday for one week and watch what happens.

The “kiss with potential” designed by Gottman Institute is known to foster deeper connections with your spouse. I have personally tried it with my husband and it does create a deeper desire for more, while strengthening the marital bond. 

2. Surprise your spouse

One day this week, out of the blue, take a few moments to buy a gift, flowers, or write a note and give it to your spouse.

You can even drop it off at work or hide it in a place that your spouse frequents in your home. Your partner will be so excited that you took the time to think about them. 

3. Take a shower together and sing a song together

Showering together has often been known as a sort of aphrodisiac.

But this twist of singing together under the shower where it shifts the attention from a physical connection to one that is emotional helps to foster deeper connection and creates shared value with your spouse. 

4. Schedule a unique date night

Date nights are always fun and help us to release the tension that can be found in daily life. Date nights give each other the opportunity to reconnect with their spouse, to laugh with each other, and foster healthy relations.

So, when you schedule your date time, do something different not the same. For instance, you and your partner can do a progressive dinner. That is to have an appetizer at one restaurant, an entrée at another different restaurant and then dessert somewhere else.

Try renting bikes or paddle boards at your local park or beach.

Or take a midnight moonlight kayak tour. The list is endless of unique date times that can be scheduled. Be creative. 

5. Make the mundane fun

Sometimes our relationships can become too serious forgetting that we are all human.

Learn to laugh at yourself by implementing some twists to everyday chores.

Hold hands while grocery shopping. Take a hot bath together while in full regalia and slowly remove your clothes while in the tub. Talk to your spouse while driving to work and tell each other what makes them beautiful. Feed each other breakfast. Play some music while cleaning the house, share the chores, and sing and dance as you clean.

Jade Major Bryan Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Jade Major–Bryan specializes in Christian counseling with a focus on couples, women, depression, anxiety, and self-esteem. She has been helping individuals and couples facilitate healing, through her EMDR, groups, retreats, and intensives.     Jade is an EMDR (Eye... Read more movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) trained therapist.  EMDR is a therapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences.    Jade can help you revive your marriage and learn to value each other's company again. For women struggling with life transitions, such as divorce or empty nesting, there is hope! Through therapy, Jade can empower you to find yourself and create a new level of self-confidence that will encourage you to find your healing. Read less

(Jade Major is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Fort Lauderdale)

Marriage.com Assessment

What Help Does Your Relationship Need Most Right Now Quiz

Reviewed byJennifer Jacobsen Schulz, LCSW

Backed by relationship science and evidence-based psychology, this assessment helps identify the area of your relationship that deserves the most attention right now, whether things feel strong or slightly off. Research shows that even healthy relat...

Questions: 20 | Last updated: Jan 23, 2026

Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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