Romance is an essential characteristic of a long and happy relationship. That said, romance doesn’t always mean giving flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. Romance is all about putting your partner as your number one priority and letting them know that their thoughts and feelings are important to you. Does that mean you have to make it your full-time job? Of course not! There are plenty of ways to romance your partner while maintaining your social life. Here are some great ways to show your mate they have your time, attention, and love.
Take an interest in their passions
Would you feel like you were a priority to your partner if they never took an interest in your hobbies or interests? Probably not. Your mate feels the same way. Putting your partner as your number one priority means taking an interest in the things they enjoy doing.
Show your partner that you care about what they are passionate about by asking about their hobbies. Football may not be your cup of tea, but if this is your partner’s favorite pastime then throw them a bone by watching a couple of games with them or asking them to teach you how to play. Even if you don’t make it a consistent “couple’s hobby”, participating in something your mate is passionate about will make them feel loved.
Communicate regularly through couple check-ins
One of the biggest things couples need to feel like they are a priority to one another is to be heard. Making your spouse your number one priority means taking time to connect with them every single day and hearing them out. Doing a “couple’s check-in” every week is a great way of letting your mate feel heard. Use this time to ask one another what you can be doing better as a spouse as well as letting them know about all the things you love about your relationship. Making a practice of respectfully hearing out your partner will ensure that you grow together instead of growing apart.
Talk about your partner’s life
People love to talk about themselves, and it’s no secret that couples bond when they get to know one another. Even if you have been with your partner for many years, you should still try and get to know them. Ask about their life, the goings on at work, their childhood memories, and future goals. Even if you have discussed these things before, taking an interest in your partner’s life will make them feel like their thoughts and feelings are a priority for you.
As simple as it sounds, playing fun games of “would you rather…” or “what would you do if…” can do wonders to open up the doors of communication and make your partner feel heard and expressed.
Every couple has things they wish the other wouldn’t do. Habits and quirks that may have seemed cute at the beginning of the relationship now seem irritable. But is there anything romantic about complaining? The answer is a resounding ‘No!’ Sure, every spouse is bound to get on the other’s nerves every now and then, but there is always a better way to handle grievances than nagging at your mate.
The next time you feel the need to complain or criticize your partner’s personality traits or home-habits, ask yourself: “Will I still care about this tomorrow?” If not, learn to let things go, just as your partner likely does when they get annoyed with you.
Gratitude is a huge part of feeling valued in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is also one of the first things to grow slack when you have been with the same person for a number of years. Does your partner do kind things for you like making your lunches, holding doors open for you, or doing the manual labor around the house? Show your appreciation with a sweet text, hug, and a kiss, or a ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Sometimes voicing that you acknowledge all of the amazing things your partner does for you can make them feel loved and appreciated by you.
Don’t stop “dating”
When you were first dating you likely made an extra effort to impress your partner. Dinners, flirtation, day trips, and general “wooing” used to be commonplace for your nights out together. These behaviors were what kept both coming back for more, so don’t stop!
Monogamous, long-term couples benefit from date nights even more than new couples do. Taking time for one another like this helps keep your relationship feeling youthful and exciting. Having a date night every week is a great step in putting your partner as your number one priority. This is especially helpful if you have started a family together and rarely get the opportunity to be alone as a couple.
Show your affection
Newly dating couples are always flush with affection; kisses and hugs, shy hand-holding, walking arm in arm. If this practice has dropped out of your relationship routine, it’s time to pick it back up again. Studies suggest that couples who are affectionate with one another outside of the bedroom feel safer in their relationships and produce higher levels of the feel-good hormone oxytocin. Being affectionate with one another is also a great way to lower blood pressure and promote trust.
If your partner is working toward the goal of losing some weight or eating healthy, why not send off a gushing text expressing your pride over their goals and accomplishments in that field? Show your partner that their success is a priority by celebrating when they achieve one of their goals. This can be something as big as throwing a celebratory dinner after a new work promotion or as simple as slipping a note in their lunch telling them how happy you are for them over their latest personal achievement.
It doesn’t take a lot of effort to tell your mate that they are doing amazing things, that you’re proud, or that you’re rooting for them. Yet, the emotional reaction you’ll get from these simple statements is huge!