One of the worst relationship issues that can happen to you is when he chooses someone else over you. This situation leaves you devastated and confused.
You begin to ask yourself, “Why did he choose her over me?” “Why does he love her and not me?”
These questions can sometimes leave you overwhelmed and frustrated because many scenarios will keep playing in your mind. You might even blame yourself when in fact, it is not your fault.
It’s normal to ask questions like the above when he chooses someone else over you.
After all, you were building a life together, and you thought you would end up together. However, things do not always go according to plans due to many reasons.
The best thing to do is to move on, even though it’s hard.
Many people have unanswered the question, “What makes a man choose another woman over you?” Why would any man decide to leave a seemingly beautiful woman for another? Keep reading to find out.
What makes a man choose another woman over you?
When someone leaves you for someone else, you need to understand that you might not be at fault. You must know this because the first thing some women do is to wallow in self-blame.
There are many reasons attached when he leaves you for someone else.
First, love is irrational – you can love another person without any tangible reason. People, including you, have no control over who they choose to love. That makes you start comparing yourself with the other girl or asking, “Why did he choose her over me?” or “Why does he love her and not me?
What you should not do is self-blame. Thinking about the other girl or wishing you have some of her bodily features or lifestyle will only affect your self-esteem.
Understand that it is not your fault when he chooses someone else over you.
The following reasons could be at play when someone leaves you for someone else:
1. Sexual Compatibility
Sexual compatibility is one of the top reasons a man chooses a woman over another. Many men prefer a woman that matches their sexual styles.
These styles may include her moves, the way she kisses, the way she dresses, and so on.
Understand that she might not even be as beautiful as you are. As long as her sexual appeal attracts the man, he will choose her.
Men are naturally attracted to women whose life goals align with theirs. After satisfactory sexual activities, many men like to know if they can move beyond the present level.
If you have nothing in common, there is a high chance that you will keep falling apart.
If you plan to move out of your country, but the man wants to stay, he may go for another woman.
3. Social lifestyle
One of the things men focus on is social compatibility with their love interest. When he leaves you for someone else, the reason could be that you do not fit into his social circle. It hurts, but that’s the way it is.
A man who attends business meetings, business parties, official gatherings, and business-related dinners would want to bring his partner along. If you detest parties or going out, he would choose another who does.
Behavior compatibility could be the culprit when someone leaves you for someone else.
If your man likes to have time alone with you, but your girls’ time is more important, he will choose another woman.
When he chooses someone else over you, your different religions could be the impediment.
Religion is one reason many people would not say openly because they might appear discriminatory or biased.
However, people do leave their love interests because of religious incompatibility.
What do you do when a guy chooses someone else over you?
If a guy leaves you for another woman, you mustn’t brood over it for long. It is normal to cry and get sad since you thought he is the right person.
However, it would help if you allowed yourself to move on as quickly as possible.
15 Things you should do when he chooses someone else over you
The right person who will stay wholly committed to you will come along sooner or later.
If you still feel like moving on is a challenging feat for you, check the following things to do when he chooses someone else over you.
1. Accept the situation
No matter how much you ask yourself, “why did he choose her over me? Or “Why does he love her and not me?” You will never get the answer.
What you need to do is to accept the situation as it is.
Remember that it is not your fault or anyone’s fault. Besides, incompatibility has happened to everyone at some point in their lives.
2. Let out your emotions
When someone leaves you for someone else, it is obvious to be heartbroken. However, you don’t need to pretend like it does not hurt. Cry as much as you want after the breakup.
That’s because managing your emotions can calm you down and help you adjust back to your everyday life. Understand that you have no control over what makes a man choose a woman over another, but you have power over your emotions.
3. Give yourself time
When your man chooses someone else over you, it is best not to rush back into another relationship. That can be detrimental and can affect your new relationship.
Instead, take your time to heal, eat as much as you want (but not too much), stay indoors till you get your confidence back.
4. Talk to friends and family members
When he chooses someone else over you, one of the things you can do is talk to people around you.
That does not mean anybody, but mostly family and friends you trust and can help you get better. Keeping all the negative emotions to yourself can affect your relationship with others.
5. Don’t compare yourself with the other woman
A mistake you should avoid when he leaves you for someone else is to compare yourself with the other lady.
Do not look for imperfections in your body. You are perfect the way you are; he just can’t see it.
Besides, people are different and created uniquely.
6. Don’t stalk the other woman
It is human nature to think another person is better than you when he chooses someone else over you.
What you shouldn’t do is stalk the other woman in an attempt to know what she does or how she does things. That is a sign of insecurity, and it might mess up your self-esteem.
7. Don’t think about her
You may never know what makes a man choose a woman over another, even if you get inside his head.
As stated earlier, love can sometimes be irrational; however, thinking about the other woman will affect your mood.
You are different individuals, and no one is better than the other.
8. Remind yourself that you are perfect
Asking questions, such as “Why did he choose her over me?” “Why does he love her and not me?” are fast ways to unhappiness. Instead, reassure yourself that you are worthy of being loved and adored.
Repeat the statement, “I am worthy and perfect!” as many times as possible. That will help elevate your mood.
9. Enjoy the time you have
There is a certain freedom that comes when someone leaves you for someone else. You have enough time to heal, play around, meet new friends, and possibly love interests.
Try to enjoy and make the best of this moment. Remember, life goes on no matter what happens.
10. Stay far away
When a person chooses someone else over you, it is evident that he does not want you in his life.
So, why stay around?
It is best to cut him off from your life, especially when you are still healing. Please get rid of anything that reminds you of him including his number, social media pages, and so on.
11. Don’t take the blame
When he chooses someone else over you, try not to blame yourself. Breakups happen for different reasons, but it does not mean you caused it.
Even if you outrightly caused it, blaming yourself will only do more damage to your personality. You parted because you are different humans with different needs.
12. Don’t blame the girl
When he chooses someone else over you, you should not blame the other woman. She is just another person who might not even know you are in the picture.
Resenting the other woman will only increase your anger.
13. Forgive him
What makes a man choose a woman over another will always be a mystery to many women. As such, you need to let go of any grudges you have against him.
Understandably, you will feel like paying him back, but you need to forgive him for your peace. Remember, he has a right to his choices.
Learn how to practise forgiveness with this video:
14. Love yourself
When he leaves you for someone else, what you have is YOU, and you have to take care of yourself.
Love yourself so much that you have no time to think of him. His choice does not reflect your personality, and nobody will love you if you don’t love yourself.
15. Move on
Instead of asking, “Why did he choose her over me?” it is best to move on. Ask yourself, “Is this how you want to spend the rest of my life?” You must be the best version of yourself.
Instead of thinking and crying for days, focus on your passion or anything that interests you.
Bury yourself in them till you become your happy and cheerful self. Sooner or later, you will meet the man of your dreams.
One of the most heart-wrenching incidents is when he chooses someone else over you. You begin to ask, “Why did he choose her over me?”
Understand that no matter how much you try to find out, you can’t know what makes a man choose a woman over another.
However, you can manage your reaction to the situation. The best you can do for yourself is to minimize the damages and move on.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.