How to Understand a Man: 25 Truths You Need to Know

We’ve heard this: “Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.”

Let’s say you haven’t, but one thing is for sure, you know that men and women are wired differently.

We’ve seen articles and tips about understanding women and their brains, but not many about how to understand a man.

Sure, every man is different, but there are things you can remember to help you understand your partner better, thus avoiding conflict and strengthening your relationship.

Is it possible to read a man’s mind?

“I want to learn how to understand a man and be able to decode his thoughts. Is this possible?”

Understanding male psychology is not that easy. Each man is different, so it would be unfair to create a “formula” to decode their minds.

The fact is, there’s no formula on how you can read his mind.

Sure, there are a lot of male stereotypes that can help you understand men, but now how to read a man’s mind.

The next best way to understand a guy’s behavior is by understanding how they think and see life through their eyes.

How can you fully understand a man?

Understanding men in relationships we all want to know that.

Imagine being able to start understanding how men love and how they react to certain situations given to them. Maybe, there will be fewer arguments and misunderstandings.

But how do we start learning how to understand a man?

To fully understand a man, you don’t necessarily need to read his mind. That’s impossible.

What you have to do is to understand how they react and process each situation given to them.

While there are general facts that we can base our studies on, it’s also important to learn that not all men are the same.

What does this mean?

It means you might become knowledgeable about the common traits of men while also being an understanding partner. It would help if you learned about your partner’s unique personality.

What does a man need from a woman in their relationship?

Men, like everyone, want their partners to be understanding, as most of them find it difficult to be emotionally expressive.

This way, they can relax and open up in the relationship. They might show you who they really are without fear that their decisions may cause trouble.

When a guy sees that his partner understands, he will most likely put his guard down and let you in his world. He’ll show you his true self because he knows you’ll get him.

Related Reading: How to Improve Understanding in a Relationship

Here’s how to understand a man: The 25 truths you need to discover

Now that you know what men want in their relationship, you are eager to figure out how to be more understanding.

Let’s start with these few truths about men you need to know.

1. Most men don’t like asking for help

Have you experienced driving and getting lost? Then you ask your partner to ask for help, but he refuses?

That’s not new for most men. You see, many men hate asking for help, even from you. Most men want to complete their tasks and feel good about them later.

They may not like it when you offer help or tell them to ask for any aid.

According to Licensed clinical social worker Maggie Martinez:

Sometimes, they need to make their own mistakes by not asking for help before they realize asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

2. They are born to be problem solvers

Most men are more useful when it comes to problem-solving skills. No wonder you can depend on them when it comes to fixing plumbing, car problems, DIY projects, and even Lego building.

They can focus on one project at a time and try their best to solve it. Not all men are good at multitasking, but they can be your all-around-fix-it guy.

Don’t expect them to enjoy shopping because most of them won’t.

3. They don’t think about sex 24/7

What women don’t understand about men is that not all of them think about sex 24/7.

Men think and focus on a lot of things. They daydream about their future, how certain mechanisms work, or their next project. Men also have this amazing ability to doze off and just shut off from everything.

If you see your man drifting away from deep thought, don’t think it’s about sex or other women.

4. Most men might stare at other women

Understanding the male mind in relationships includes knowing that most men will stare at other women. They might do it out of appreciation or curiosity. A simple glance is harmless unless he makes a move – then that is already a red flag.

Other than that, a glance is pretty much harmless.

5. They might love hearing praises

They might not show it, but men appreciate compliments too. 

Give him compliments, especially when he deserves it. Did he fix the car? Hug him and let him know you appreciate his skill and hard work. 

This act of appreciation will make him happy, even though he doesn’t show it. He can also adopt this practice and show appreciation for your efforts. 

Appreciation also strengthens your relationships. 

Related Reading: Romantic Phrases & Sayings to Make Your Partner Feel Special Everyday

6. They want to express themselves

What better way to know how to understand men in a relationship than to let them express themselves?

Many people think men aren’t expressive of their feelings. Contrary to this, men also want to express themselves only when they are comfortable.

Once he knows he can be himself with you and you won’t judge him, he’ll open up.

Don’t just be a partner. Be his best friend too.

7. Most men are not so good at multitasking

Not all men are good at multitasking.

Sure, men are skilled in problem-solving, but most men focus on one task at a time, and they’ll be more productive this way. 

Giving too much information or tasks will only make it harder for him to choose which one to do first or be able to concentrate on finishing which task. 

It might work better if you asked him to do one task at a time. 

8. He wants to feel like a man

What women don’t understand about men is that most of them want to be treated as “men,” and they don’t like to be treated as inferior to anyone.

Men want to feel that they can solve their problems, be the family provider, and become the hero, no matter how small the task is.

He loves that you are empowered and capable of doing things, but it’s also nice to allow him to be the man that he is.

9. Men love competition

Most men have this urge to be better and to compete. So don’t resent him for being competitive, even with you.

Learn to understand it’s a part of them. It has been like this even in the dawn of the human species.

Being competitive isn’t so bad. It can make your partner more determined in life.

10. Men are big boys, and they know it

Most men will always be boys. Even if they are successful business owners or bodybuilders, if you give them a complicated Lego puzzle, RC cars, or toy guns or leave the latest gaming console, you’ll find them enjoying and spending hours playing.

Men avoid stress and escape life’s pressure by enjoying themselves through games and toys.

Please don’t be too harsh and allow them to enjoy themselves. Better yet, try to enjoy these things with him.

11. Men love their friends, games, and beers

When he says he wants to meet up with the boys, don’t think he’s lying and wants to go to a bar and meet other girls.

Most men enjoy watching games and drinking beer.

He’d be the happiest if you trusted him to do this with his friends.

As Licensed clinical social worker Maggie Martinez explains:

It shows you trust him in your relationship and that you want him to have fun and spend time with his friends.

12. They don’t care about important dates

You have been together for so long, yet he still doesn’t remember your birth date. In understanding men, know that most of them don’t pay attention to dates or special occasions.

Studies show that men are likely to forget information such as dates and even their grocery lists because of hormone differences. It’s not because he doesn’t love you.

Don’t resent your partner if he forgets your birthday. Let him know and celebrate together.

13. Men hate a long list of to-do’s

Now that you know that men have a short attention span, you probably get why they might hate having a long list of to-dos.

Because of your newfound knowledge of understanding men, you can give your man one task at a time, or if you’re asking him to pick something from the grocery, create a “detailed” list.

You’ll find that this method is less stressful for both of you.

14. Some men are afraid of commitment

Some men are afraid of long-term commitment. They can have many reasons why they feel they are not yet ready.

They require more time to be ready, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be in a relationship.

An understanding partner can help a man mature.

15. Men work best with positive reinforcement

Most men are genuine and want to be the best for you. However, things may not go according to plan.

Complaining about these shortcomings is understandable, but men work better when you use positive reinforcement.

To do this, complement your partner instead of complaining. This way, he would love to try it again.

16. Some men do need space

There will be times when your man feels suffocated with all the issues and stress in his daily life. He may ask for a bit of space from you but don’t think of it as a break-up plan unless you see red flags.

A man may want to be alone for a few hours, spend his weekends with his friends, or sleep and play his Xbox the whole day.

Allowing your partner means you feel secure and understanding.

Related Reading: 20 Ways to Give a Man Space to Fall in Love

17. They want to flirt

A part of how to understand guys’ behavior is knowing that they want to flirt – a lot.

They want to flirt, not because they don’t love you or are no longer committed. Men are polygamous by nature, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be faithful.

Most men can fight the urge to flirt, so that’s something to be proud of.

18. Men hate naggers

Men hate it when their partner nags them. If you think they would digest everything you are saying, sorry, but they won’t.

For men, all they hear is someone nagging them, and they would want to go as far away from you as possible.

Instead, keep calm and try positive reinforcement and deep conversations.

Related Reading: 20 Tips on How to Stop Nagging & Build Better Communication

19. They are not good at expressing emotions

Most men are not good at expressing their emotions. There can be times when they would seem angry, but deep inside, they might feel empty and sad.

Men’s emotions in relationships are often shown with actions, not words. You can start a conversation and allow the trust to build so that they would learn to talk about their feelings.

It would also be nice to appreciate their way of showing how much they love you.

20. Men don’t get hints

“Oh, that bag looks so pretty, but it looks expensive. What do you think?”

Women know what this means, but men? Don’t expect your partner to understand that you’re giving hints. They don’t understand the difference between hints and statements.

If you want something, tell him, and he’ll understand. It’s less complicated.

21. He also gets jealous

It might not look like it, but men also get jealous. They are not as vocal as women. They may not show it either, but deep inside, they feel hurt.

In every relationship, it’s just normal to feel jealous sometimes. However, men won’t tell you this upfront. Understanding how men process their emotions will help you know if he’s feeling jealous or not.

Some men choose to be distant when they can’t express their feelings.

Jealousy is such a strong negative emotion. Are you aware of how it starts? 

Mel Robbins, NY Times Best Selling Author, explains why jealousy can affect us so much.

22. Allow him to show you he loves you

Now that we know how to understand men in a relationship, allow him to show you how much he loves you in his way.

It’s hard if you expect him to do things he doesn’t want to. Everyone is different, and so are their ways of showing love and affection.

It would also feel much sweeter when you know he made an effort for you.

23. Men hate drama

You’re together, but you bring up past hurts. While nothing is wrong with this, there’s a better timing and place for this type of conversation.

Men don’t appreciate drama and would rather talk in private about it. Remember, your partner doesn’t like seeing you sad. Instead, he would rather see you happy with him.

Once you’ve talked about it and everything is clear. Avoid bringing up past issues.

24. Men have different interests than women

Understanding also means acceptance.

Men have different interests than women, and we have to accept that. Lucky if you have found a partner who shares the same interests with you, but if you see him getting bored, don’t get angry.

You may be a couple, but you still have different social lives that you can enjoy.

25. Men can mask their feelings with anger

Ever wonder why he seems angry or distant? Is there an issue?

You may not know it, but your partner might be dealing with something. Men can mask their feelings with anger. It is one emotion of men that society allows.

They may not be aware of this behavior but have learned it growing up. It’s hard, but a man can open up and be honest with their feelings.

Be there for him and let him know you can be trusted.

Conclusion

Some couples decide to part ways because they are incompatible. They often disagree, argue, and even get on each other’s nerves.

Learning how to understand a man is one step toward avoiding these differences. Men aren’t that complicated once you begin to understand them. 

When you know how a man thinks or processes information, the less conflict that you will have.

Remember, though these are helpful, they may or may not work with your man because everyone is unique.