Here’s how to understand a man: The 25 truths you need to discover
Now that you know what men want in their relationship, you are eager to figure out how to be more understanding.
Let’s start with these few truths about men you need to know.
1. Most men don’t like asking for help
Have you experienced driving and getting lost? Then you ask your partner to ask for help, but he refuses?
That’s not new for most men. You see, many men hate asking for help, even from you. Most men want to complete their tasks and feel good about them later.
They may not like it when you offer help or tell them to ask for any aid.
2. They are born to be problem solvers
Most men are more useful when it comes to problem-solving skills. No wonder you can depend on them when it comes to fixing plumbing, car problems, DIY projects, and even Lego building.
They can focus on one project at a time and try their best to solve it. Not all men are good at multi-tasking, but they can be your all-around-fix-it guy.
Don’t expect them to enjoy shopping because most of them won’t.
3. They don’t think about sex 24/7
What women don’t understand about men is that not all of them think about sex 24/7.
Men think and focus on a lot of things. They daydream about their future, how certain mechanisms work, or their next project. Men also have this amazing ability to doze off and just shut off from everything.
If you see your man drifting away from deep thought, don’t think it’s about sex or other women.
4. Most men might stare at other women
Understanding the male mind in relationships includes knowing that most men will stare at other women. They might do it out of appreciation or curiosity. A simple glance is harmless unless he makes a move – then that is already a red flag.
Other than that, a glance is pretty much harmless.
5. They might love hearing praises
They might not show it, but men appreciate compliments too.
Give him compliments, especially when he deserves it. Did he fix the car? Hug him and let him know you appreciate his skill and hard work.
This act of appreciation will make him happy, even though he doesn’t show it. He can also adopt this practice and show appreciation for your efforts.
What better way to know how to understand men in a relationship than to let them express themselves?
Many people think men aren’t expressive of their feelings. Contrary to this, men also want to express themselves only when they are comfortable.
Once he knows he could be himself with you and you won’t judge him, he’ll open up.
Don’t just be a partner. Be his best friend too.
7. Most men are not so good with multi-tasking
Not all men are good with multi-tasking.
Sure, men are skilled in problem-solving, but most men focus on one task at a time, and they’ll be more productive this way.
Giving too much information or tasks will only make it harder for him to choose which one to do first or be able to concentrate on finishing which task.
It might work better if you asked him to do one task at a time.
8. He wants to feel like a man
What women don’t understand about men is that most of them want to be treated as “men,” and they don’t like to be treated as inferior to anyone.
Men want to feel that they can solve your problems, be the family provider, and become the hero, no matter how small the task is.
He loves that you are empowered and capable of doing things, but it’s also nice to allow him to be the man that he is.
9. Men love competition
Most men have this urge to be better and to compete. So don’t resent him for being competitive, even with you.
Learn to understand it’s a part of them. It has been like this even in the dawn of the human species.
Being competitive isn’t so bad. It can make your partner more determined in life.
10. Men are big boys, and they know it
Most men will always be boys. Even if they are successful business owners or bodybuilders, if you give them a complicated Lego puzzle, RC cars, toy guns, or leave the latest gaming console, you’ll find them enjoying and spending hours playing.
Men avoid stress and escape life’s pressure by enjoying themselves through games and toys.
Please don’t be too harsh and allow them to enjoy themselves. Better yet, try to enjoy these things with him.
11. Men love their friends, games, and beers
When he says he wants to meet up with the boys, don’t think he’s lying and wants to go to a bar and meet other girls.
Most men enjoy watching games and drinking beer.
He’d be the happiest if you trusted him to do this with his friends.
12. They don’t care about important dates
You have been together for so long, yet he still doesn’t remember your birth date. In understanding men, know that most of them don’t pay attention to dates or special occasions.
Studies show that men are likely to forget information such as dates and even your grocery list because of hormone differences. It’s not because he doesn’t love you.
Don’t resent your partner if he forgets your birthday. Let him know and celebrate together.
13. Men hate a long list of to-do’s
Now that you know that men have a short attention span, you probably get why they might hate having a long list of to-dos.
Because of your newfound knowledge of understanding men, you can give your man one task at a time, or if you’re asking him to pick something from the grocery, create a “detailed” list.
You’ll find that this method is less stressful for both of you.
14. Some men are afraid of commitment
Some men are afraid of long-term commitment. They can have many reasons why they feel they are not yet ready.
They require more time to be ready, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to be in a relationship.
An understanding partner can help a man mature.
15. Men work best with positive reinforcement
Most men are genuine and want to be the best for you. However, things may not go according to plan.
Complaining about these shortcomings is understandable, but men work better when you use positive reinforcement.
To do this, complement your partner instead of complaining. This way, he would love to try it again.
16. Some men do need space
There will be times when your man feels suffocated with all the issues and stress in his daily life. He may ask for a bit of space from you, but don’t think of it as a break-up plan unless you see red flags.
A man may want to be alone for a few hours, spend his weekends with his friends, or sleep and play his X-Box the whole day.
Allowing your partner means you feel secure and understanding.
Most men are not good at expressing their emotions. There can be times when they would seem angry, but deep inside, they feel empty and sad.
Men’s emotions in relationships are often shown with actions, not words. You can start a conversation and allow the trust to build so that they would learn to talk about their feelings.
It would also be nice to appreciate their way of showing how much they love you.
20. Men don’t get hints
“Oh, that bag looks so pretty, but it looks expensive. What do you think?”
Women know what this means, but men? Don’t expect your partner to understand that you’re giving hints. They don’t understand the difference between hints and statements.
If you want something, tell him, and he’ll understand. It’s less complicated.
21. He also gets jealous
It might not look like it, but men also get jealous. They are not as vocal as women. They may not show it either, but deep inside, they feel hurt.
In every relationship, it’s just normal to feel jealous sometimes. However, men won’t tell you this upfront. Understanding how men process their emotions will help you know if he’s feeling jealous or not.
Some men choose to be distant when they can’t express their feelings.
Jealousy is such a strong negative emotion. Are you aware of how it starts?
Mel Robbins, NY Times Best Selling Author, explains why jealousy can affect us so much.
22. Allow him to show you he loves you
Now that we know how to understand men in a relationship, allow him to show you how much he loves you in his way.
It’s hard if you expect him to do things he doesn’t want to. Everyone is different, and so would their ways of showing love and affection.
It would also feel much sweeter when you know he made an effort for you.
23. Men hate drama
You’re together, but you bring up past hurts. While nothing is wrong with this, there’s a better timing and place for this type of conversation.
Men don’t appreciate drama and would rather talk in private about it. Remember, your partner doesn’t like seeing you sad. Instead, he would rather see you happy with him.
Once you’ve talked about it and everything is clear. Avoid bringing up past issues.
24. Men have different interests than women
Understanding also means acceptance.
Men have different interests than women, and we have to accept that. Lucky if you have found a partner who shares the same interests with you, but if you see him getting bored, don’t get angry.
You may be a couple, but you still have different social lives that you can enjoy.
25. Men can mask their feelings with anger
Ever wonder why he seems angry or distant? Is there an issue?
You may not know it, but your partner might be dealing with something. Men can mask their feelings with anger. It is one emotion of men that society allows.
They may not be aware of this behavior but have learned it growing up. It’s hard, but a man can open up and be honest with their feelings.
Be there for him and let him know you can be trusted.
Some couples decide to part ways because they are incompatible. They often disagree, argue, and even get on each other’s nerves.
Learning how to understand a man is one step toward avoiding these differences. Men aren’t that complicated once you begin to understand them.
When you know how a man thinks or processes information, the less conflict that you will have.
Remember, though these are helpful, they may or may not work with your man because everyone is unique.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.