How to Spot a Gold Digger and Ways to Deal With Them

Love is a beautiful thing, especially when you find the one person who will walk the journey of life together with you. However, it may not be easy to find the right person who will love you for who you are and not for what you have.

Otherwise, you may get in a relationship with a gold digger. Unfortunately, it can be challenging to identify a gold digger once you meet one in your life. Read on to know the signs of a gold digger and ways of dealing with it.

What is a gold digger?

If you are new to the dating scene, you may wonder, “What is a gold digger?” Here is your gold digger definition explained.

Simply put, a gold digger is someone that gets into a relationship with another person primarily for money. They are in the relationship for money more than for love or emotional attraction. Unlike before, gold diggers can be of any gender, whether a male gold digger or a female gold digger.

If your partner lets you cater to the bills all the time, live a lavish lifestyle, dine in the most expensive places, or are always curious about your finances, chances are you are dating a gold digger.

How to spot a gold digger in a relationship

There are several ways to spot a gold digger. Here is a summary of gold digger characteristics in both genders.

Characteristics of a female gold digger

• She has expensive tastes.
• She tends to reject inexpensive gifts.
• She has a sense of entitlement.
• She never offers to split bills.
• She tends to accept gifts as an apology.
• She is out of your league.
• She does not contribute equally to the relationship in terms of effort or expenses.
• She relies heavily on a partner for financial support.
• She uses charm or manipulation to gain financial benefits.

Characteristics of a male gold digger

• They are obsessed with status.
• They are very jealous.
• He likes to have an extravagant lifestyle.
• He always inquires about your finances.
• He loves shopping and getting gifts from you.
• He pursues relationships primarily for financial gain.
• He values financial security over emotional connection.
• He seeks to exploit the wealth of others.
• He tries to avoid financial responsibilities.

22 surefire signs that your partner is a gold digger

It’s time to discover the clear signs you’re dating a gold digger. 

It’s essential to be aware of signs that someone might be more interested in your wallet than your heart. Here are some signs to watch out for in women and men

Signs of gold digger women

Spotting a gold digger earlier in the relationship can help you bail out before it’s too late. Here are ten signs of a gold digger woman you may want to watch out for.

1. She has gold digger friends

One sign that you may be dating a gold digger is if all her friends date and marry rich guys. Just like the saying, “Birds of the same feather flock together,” gold diggers are more likely to hang out with fellow gold diggers.

2. She is not emotionally attached

More often than not, women get emotionally attached to their partners. They love to show affection to men that they truly like.

However, this may not be the case if they are just after your money. A gold digger wife is more attached to your money, and this is her motivation to do and say the right things. But you may never hear from them as soon as the money is over.

3. Puts more value on expensive gifts

Sentimental and thoughtful gifts could mean a lot to a woman who really likes you. However, if she is only in a relationship with you because of money, she will not accept any gift that does not have a monetary value. 

For them, it is less about thoughtful gifts and more about expensive gifts.

4. Prefers an expensive gift for an apology

When you have a gold digger for a girlfriend, all you need is to buy them an expensive gift to resolve an argument. Instead of sitting down to solve the issue, they would rather have you buy them something of a high monetary value.

Also, some gold digger women may initiate stupid fights just so that you can buy them gifts to apologize. No matter how mad they were, getting them an expensive gift will surely impress them.

5. She only hangs out in fancy places

Most of the time, a gold digger will only want to hang out in expensive joints. Being a gold digger goes hand in hand in accepting only the finer things in life.

A gold-digging woman will choose the fanciest places, usually reserved for special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays. Some will ask to go somewhere expensive on the first date just to see if you can manage their lifestyle.

6. She is curious about your income

Expect a gold digger to ask where you work, your position, where you live, and your income status out of curiosity. It is okay to know this information, especially if you intend to get serious with a gold digger in a relationship.

Unfortunately, most women inquire too much about your income to decide whether they will stay with you or not. Therefore, it may be a red flag if she questions your financial situation on the first or second date.

7. She doesn’t pay for anything

It is natural for men to foot the bill when on dates, particularly at the start of a relationship. Nevertheless, you should be concerned if your partner is not bothered to contribute or offer to pay the bill.

You may be having a gold digger on your hands if they are too comfortable not splitting the bill or catering to their expenses. One of gold diggers tactics is to use reverse psychology to justify their actions.

Most gold diggers will insist that a real man should pay for all bills. If you intend to take your relationship to another stage, bring up the subject and discourage the behavior as soon as possible.

8. She is ungrateful and entitled

A gold digger woman may have a sense of entitlement and don’t feel the need to work for anything. These are some of the classic gold digger examples. 

Also, they lack gratitude and may take everything for granted, and that includes you. Because of their entitled and ungrateful attitude, you will never hear words such as “Thank you” or “Please.”

On the same note, watch out for ill-mannered behaviors as they try to prove that they are financially superior to others. For instance, they may be rude to waiters and are total snobs with people of a lower social standard.

9. Always in a financial crisis

Does she keep asking for favors to solve her financial crisis? After several dates of knowing each other, if you want to know a gold digger, she will say she has a financial emergency after several dates of knowing each other.

This may become a trend and a quick way how to spot a gold digger.

You can expect that they will be in a financial crisis now and then. Suddenly, their laptop has crashed, they need a new phone, or they need to repair their car. Once you notice this pattern, then you are dating a gold digger.

10. She is out of your league

The other tip on how to find a gold digger is if she is way beyond your league. Of course, love has no boundaries. However, some signs may show she is beyond your league and may not be in the relationship for genuine reasons.

For instance, some younger women have different reasons for dating older men, with some claiming that they want a more mature and established man. Nevertheless, chances are they are dating an older man for money and keeping an attractive younger man that will meet their sexual and social needs.

11. She has selective attention

When a woman displays selective attention, it means she focuses her romantic interests primarily on men who possess significant wealth or assets. She might ignore or dismiss potential partners who don’t meet her financial expectations. 

This behavior can indicate that her priority in relationships is financial gain rather than genuine emotional connection. It’s essential to be cautious if you notice this trait and assess whether the relationship is based on mutual affection or materialistic desires.

Signs of gold digger men

Unlike popular belief, many men are gold diggers and are in relationships where they can benefit financially. As absurd as this may sound, men gold diggers will want you to cater for all the expenses and even shower them with expensive gifts. 

There are more signs to identify the gold digger strain. Here are the warning signs of a gold digger man.

1. He always asks about your finances

Constant inquiries about a partner’s financial data is basically how to be a gold digger, in case you ever wonder.

If your boyfriend always brings up topics about your finances and investments, then it is a surefire sign that he is a gold digger. Your boyfriend should enjoy spending quality time talking about your likes, qualities, and other essential things about your relationship in normal circumstances.

While it is essential to also talk about finances, it becomes a call for concern when your partner is always interested in your money because he has an ulterior motive. Therefore, you can know the motive by the things gold diggers say.

2. He always experiences financial emergencies

Like gold digger women, getting various emergencies that need money is a characteristic of a gold digger man. In most cases, such men use reverse psychology and appear manipulative when asking you for money.

A boyfriend who is a gold digger is overly concerned about other people and wants to help them but gives excuses for why they can’t find the money. Expect to be introduced to family and friends in dire need but whom you will never hear or see again.

3. He is not ambitious

Beware of a partner who has no job and is not interested in finding one soon. They have no grand plan and are rarely driven to do something constructive; instead, they just want to enjoy life.

A man who is not career-oriented will depend on you to pay for everything. Some of these male gold diggers have attractive looks, and they may leverage this to get your hard-earned money and spend it on themselves and others.

4. Lies about his job

Similarly, a gold digger guy may lie about his job and portray himself to be successful.

He may even lie about having issues at his place of work to earn your pity and get you to pay for his bills. 

But have you visited his business or office to know if he is genuinely working or if he is just a parasite that is in a relationship with you just for money?

5. He pays for things at first and then never again

Just like any perfect gentleman, a gold digger man will take you on dates and insist on paying for everything. They tend to be charming on the first few dates until you are emotionally invested. 

Before you know it, they would have made a swift turn and started depending on you to pay for everything.

He will start giving excuses on why he can’t pay, like leaving his wallet in the car. To avoid embarrassment, you will take up the financial burden and slowly become accustomed to this.

6. He is always curious about your family background

Some male gold diggers ask too many questions to know about your family background. Such men will try to please you in every way, including taking you out on dates and holidays and eventually marrying you.

Unfortunately, such a man may damp you as soon as he has laid his hands on your inheritance.

7. He loves shopping and getting gifts from you

Another tip on how to catch a gold digger is by listening to what they have to say when it comes to money and investments. A man who is out for your money will always encourage you to go shopping and even volunteer to take you.

When out shopping, he will add expensive items to your shopping basket and make a 180 when you reach the counter. They will also encourage you to purchase things that will benefit them, even if it’s not your preference.

8. He becomes agitated when you say no

Beware of guys that get angry when you say no to their financial requests. This is especially true when he is used to getting money from you whenever he asks for it.

Because he already sees you as his ATM, you can expect him to get angry and throw a tantrum when you finally come to his senses and say no to his requests.

9. He likes having an extravagant lifestyle

There is no denying that everyone loves the finer things in life. However, gold diggers are less bothered about saving money and like to have an extravagant lifestyle even when cash is strapped.

Such a man will always ask for expensive things and only want to hang out at high-end establishments. He will care more about where you hang out than spend quality time with you.

10. He is very jealous

The main goal of gold diggers from both genders is to attain wealth. For this reason, gold diggers tend to get very jealous when you pursue other relationships or friendships since they consider this a threat to their objective. This is true when the other person is a man as well.

Check out this video on how to deal with a jealous partner:

11. He is quick to move on 

A man who is quick to move on in relationships may do so when he perceives a decrease in financial benefits from his partner. This behavior suggests that he prioritizes financial gain over emotional connection or commitment. 

He may not invest the time and effort required to nurture a relationship when his primary interest is the material benefits he receives. Such a pattern can lead to short-lived and superficial relationships lacking in depth and authenticity.

7 useful tips for dealing with gold diggers in your life

Knowing what to look for will help you know how to avoid gold diggers. If you notice any of the above signs in your partner, then it shows that you are dealing with a gold digger.

It is recommended to do further investigation to ensure that they are predators after your hard-earned money. If you are willing to continue with the relationship, take the time to bring up your concerns and ask them to change their behavior.

Here are 7 things to consider

• Trust your instincts

Listen to your gut feelings. If someone seems overly interested in your finances or displays materialistic behavior, be cautious.

• Set boundaries

Clearly define your financial boundaries and make them known. Communicate what you are comfortable with in terms of spending and support.

• Observe behavior over time

Pay attention to how the person behaves in various situations and with different people. Consistency or patterns in their behavior can reveal their intentions.

• Avoid flashy displays

Be discreet about your wealth to deter potential gold diggers. Avoid flaunting expensive possessions or an extravagant lifestyle.

• Screen potential partners

Before getting deeply involved, assess their values, priorities, and attitudes toward money and relationships. Honest conversations about expectations are crucial.

• Seek support from trusted friends and family

Share your concerns with close friends and family members who can offer an objective perspective and guidance.

• End unhealthy relationships:

If you discover someone is genuinely a gold digger and not interested in a real emotional connection, consider ending the relationship. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, not what you have.

Commonly asked questions

Gold digging behavior isn’t limited to any gender. Both men and women can exhibit these traits. Here are answers to common questions

• Can men be gold diggers too, or is it primarily associated with women?

Both genders can be gold diggers. It’s not gender-specific. Anyone can prioritize wealth over emotional connection in a relationship.

• How do you confront a potential gold digger in a relationship?

Open and honest communication is key. Express your concerns and set clear boundaries regarding financial expectations.

• Can a gold digger change their behavior?

Yes, people can change, but it’s challenging. Self-awareness and a desire for healthier relationships are essential for change.

• Is being a gold digger good or bad?

It’s generally seen negatively as it prioritizes material gain over genuine connection, which can harm relationships.

• Do gold diggers fall in love?

Love is possible, but it might be overshadowed by financial motives. Authentic love requires a deeper emotional connection beyond wealth.

In pursuit of a genuine relationship

Love of all things should be emotion-driven and nothing else.

Recognizing a gold digger can be difficult at the start of the relationship, but once you do, it is essential to pull yourself together and take a stand. You may use these tips to ask yourself, “Are you a gold digger?” If you are, then it is high time you changed.