The fight for sexual equality, women’s rights and equal pay for equal work has had a definite impact on relationship equality. We now have generations of women who have learned from their strong female role models to be independent, powerful and to own their femininity in a fierce and unprecedented way. What does that mean for the future of relationships? It may surprise you to know that independent women crave love and affection as we all do. For those of you who love them, this can pose a challenge in determining how to nurture your strong independent female partner.
All of us have certain things we need from our partners to make us feel loved and important. These needs vary from person to person. What you, as the partner of a strong female personality needs to do, is really listen to your partner. If you are open to her, she will show and tell you what it is she needs from you. She may not need as much emotional support as someone who is more co-dependent, but she may crave physical touch and want a lot of cuddling and touching. She may need more than she lets on to the world, and will show it only to you.
Even the strongest of us need to let down our guard and rely on someone else once in awhile. Sometimes she will want to be vulnerable and let you be the “strong one”. If it’s very important to her to have equal power in the relationship, you need to be mindful of that. Make sure that you consider her opinions and input in all your decisions, don’t assume that you know what she wants or needs, let her communicate that to you.
Perhaps she needs to feel more appreciated, don’t we all? Just because your partner is an independent and capable person, doesn’t mean that she won’t like to hear you tell her that she’s appreciated for her efforts. You can acknowledge her as a strong person, a powerful partner and your intellectual equal, while still treating her as a queen and the most special woman in your life.
Don’t look down on, patronize or take her for granted. Give her the respect that she deserves. She’s probably been told to “tone it down” or be less forceful in her life. Maybe she’s been told she’s too much or too masculine. That’s all BS. Recognize and respect her for being the incredible, beautiful, sexy force of nature that she is and be proud that she’s chosen you to be her life partner. She doesn’t need you, she wants you. Meet her where she is and the two of you can be an amazing power couple together.
Stand beside her
One of the best things about having a powerful female as your life partner is that you are both free to be yourselves. She’s not trying to change you because she’s secure in her own life. You are a true partner to her that is proud to stand beside her as an equal. Having that kind of support and friendship is crucial to having a loving relationship. When you have an equal pairing, you eliminate a whole lot of drama in the relationship. You both see each other as an asset in each other’s life and move forward together to make a life that you both want and dream of.
Nurture your strong woman
Make your home her safe haven. Being with you is the place where she can be free to be herself and allow herself to be vulnerable. Give her the space she needs to work out her stuff on her own and be willing to step in when she needs you to be a sounding board, give advice and be a helpful and nurturing partner. Let her know that while you recognize that she is a force in her own right, you are always there to lean on if she feels the need. You are the safe harbor, the port in the storm, and your home is the place where she is able to just be with nothing to prove, nothing to show; just pure acceptance and nurturing love.
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More by Stuart Fensterheim