8 Steps to Moving on After the Death of Spouse

They say that death plays a natural role in the circle of life, but as anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one will tell you – there’s nothing that feels ‘natural’ about it at all.

Research shows that one-third of people will feel the impact on both their mental and physical health in the first year following the loss of a loved one.

The journal goes on to say that, of 71 psychiatric unit patients surveyed, 31% were admitted due to bereavement after the loss of husband or wife.

If nothing else, this study shows that no one is prepared to lose someone they love. Moving on after the death of a spouse feels like an impossible task.

When all you want to do is wallow, how can you possibly think of moving on with your life? Keep reading for helpful steps about moving on after the death of your spouse.

How death affects relationships?

When you are grieving, you aren’t yourself. This affects how death affects relationships with your friends and family.

Moving on after the death of a spouse will feel like some unknown, distant future. Relationships may be strained or strengthened in the aftermath of the loss of a husband or wife.

You may also notice:

• You are constantly lonely and need people around/desire more affection from loved ones
• You find it hard to laugh or enjoy the things you use to like doing
• You feel spiteful toward happy couples
• Family gets quiet or awkward when you are around
• You feel like you can’t connect with former friends
• You have developed anxiety after the death of a loved one
• You feel ostracized from your late spouse’s family/feel left out of family events

There may also be well-meaning friends and family who want you to get “back to normal” and start acting like yourself again. This is especially true if you have been in mourning for years.

But, can you really get over the death of a loved one? The answer is complicated, as there is no guidebook for how to mourn the death of a spouse.

Grieving the loss of a spouse changes you, and perhaps there is a spot in your heart that will always be broken. Your emotional needs and outlook on life have been altered.

Keep reading to find out how to rebuild your life after losing everything.

Related Reading: Overcoming Mental Agony After the Death of a Spouse

8 steps for moving on after the death of Spouse

Finding purpose after the death of a spouse may feel like an impossible task, but the death of a marriage does not mean the eternal death of your happiness.

Do you want to learn how to accept death?

Find joy in your hobbies again?

Date after the death of a spouse?

Keep reading to learn some helpful things to do to cope with the loss of a husband or wife. And remember that moving on after the death of a spouse is possible.

1. Allow yourself to grieve the death of a spouse

Your friends are no doubt eager to see you happy again, but this is not something to expect to happen overnight.

The loss of husband or wife will take time to heal from. You need time to process your feelings and allow yourself as long as it takes.

Grief is not linear. It comes and goes. At times, you may feel like yourself again, only to be triggered by something simple like a song or a memory.

Do not hurry your grieving process. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and work through them naturally to move on after your spouse’s death.

2. Surround yourself with your loved ones

• My husband passed away; what do I do?
• My wife is gone, and I feel so empty.

If you have ever had these thoughts, you are not alone. Moving on after the death of a spouse is possible!

Those who are grieving often feel lost when thinking of moving on after the death of their spouse. One of the best things you can do is surround yourself with a support system.

Research shows that those undergoing trauma experienced lowered psychological distress when receiving emotional support from friends and family.

Learning to accept the death of a spouse takes time. Make it easier by surrounding yourself with trusted loved ones.

3. Avoid making big decisions

The loss of a husband or wife can impair your decision-making skills. Avoid making any big changes in your life, such as changing your job, religion, ending friendships, dating too soon, or moving.

4. Look into counseling

The loss of a husband or wife can be hard on you, especially if you are going through your grief alone.

A grief counselor can help you develop coping mechanisms, identify strategies to help you go about your daily life, learn to cope with loss and accept death, and find comfort in positive memories.

5. Take care of yourself

It may take years to accept the death of a spouse, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore your personal needs.

When grieving, depression may cause you to push your needs to the wayside, but you must continue to:

• Get enough food and water
• Exercise
• Sleep
• Maintain a social life
• Visit your doctor and talk about any issues you are dealing with.

All these things are equally important for moving on after the death of a spouse.

6. Find a support group

Finding a support group online or in-person can be incredibly helpful for those dealing with the loss of a husband or wife.

Not only will others be able to relate to you in a way that your friends and family may not, but it can make you feel good to help someone who is grieving the loss of a spouse.

7. Educate others on how to help you

Dealing with the death of a spouse is easier when you have people you can talk to, but friends and family don’t always know the right things to say.

Explain to those close to you how to help someone who is grieving the loss of a spouse.

• Do not tell someone who is grieving the death of a lover how they feel
• Validate their emotions
• Offer helpful distractions
• Be available
• Show patience

8. Don’t be afraid of the future

The loss of a husband or wife is a hard pill to swallow. Accepting the death of a spouse means accepting that your life is going to take a different path than you had expected.

After you have given yourself time to heal, start looking toward the future.

Instead of dwelling on your pain, shift your focus to something you can look forward to, such as traveling, making big plans with friends, and dating,

The loss of a husband or wife does not mean that you are forbidden from moving on with your love life.

Your late spouse would have wanted you to move on and experience love and happiness again.

Conclusion

Grief after the death of a spouse is completely normal. How long you grieve your loss of husband or wife is up to you.

If you find yourself repeating, “my husband died, and I am so lonely,” don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones for support.

• Keep a journal of your feelings. This is a healthy outlet when you don’t feel like talking to others.
• Find a support group or counselor. A counselor can help you learn how to accept death and the role it played in your marriage and will offer helpful tips in grieving the loss of a spouse.
• Be vocal. If you feel “I’m missing my husband who died,” don’t be afraid to tell your support system or write down how you’re feeling.
• If you want to help someone who is grieving the loss of a spouse, be mindful of your friend’s feelings. Stay away from topics that make your friend upset. It may be hard to see your friend in pain, but your endless support will mean the world to them.

Moving on after the death of your spouse may feel like some unknown, distant future, but you can get there if you follow these steps in dealing with the death of a loved one.

Do not force yourself to get over the death of a loved one. Healing takes time.

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