How to Get Him Back After Pushing Him Away: 15 Tips

We all make mistakes in relationships, and sometimes that mistake is not appreciating what you have while you have it. You’ve ended things and now you want to know how to get him back after pushing him away.

Pushing a man away may come in the form of:

• Playing hot and cold (acting interested one minute and forgetting he exists the next)
• Purposely doing things to drive him away
• Being emotionally distant
• Criticizing him constantly

With enough pushing, he may leave the relationship. But once it’s over, you may realize you made a terrible mistake.

15 tips for how to get him back after pushing him away

Sometimes you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone. If you find yourself thinking: “I pushed him away and now I want him back,” don’t despair. All is not lost.

Here are some of the best tips to help you get your ex back in your life.

1. Talk to him

The first thing you should do to learn how to get him back after pushing him away is to communicate.

Couples who communicate are happier and express more positivity. If you find yourself in a situation where “I pushed him away and now I regret it”, talk to your ex. Communicate about what went wrong.

It could have been a complete miscommunication that drew you apart in the first place.

2. Compromise

Love is all about compromise. If “I acted crazy and pushed him away” with too many demands, maybe it’s time to relax and revisit the situation.

Perhaps you can talk to your now-ex to see if you can come to a compromise about whatever issues are plaguing your relationship.

According to Relationship and Empowerment mentor Dionne Eleanor,

Ignoring your partner’s need for connection and companionship is a surefire way to erode the foundation of your relationship, leaving it vulnerable to external threats.

3. Give him some space

“I pushed him away now he won’t talk to me” isn’t an uncommon situation after you’ve broken a guy’s heart.

If you have apologized to your ex for the way that you treated him and he still doesn’t want to talk to you, give him space.

The worst thing you can do if you want to learn how to get him back after pushing him away is to force yourself on him by texting him all the time or showing up at his house.

Giving him space and staying quiet will allow him to heal from his heartbreak and miss having you around.

4. Focus on the positive

“I pushed him away and now I regret it”

Learning how to get a guy back that you pushed away starts with your mindset. Be positive. Believe that you and your ex will get back together if it’s meant to be.

Having a positive attitude will help you endure the emotionally stressful task of learning how to get him back after pushing him away.

5. Do something fun together

If you’re lucky enough to still be talking to your ex, you’re well on your way to figuring out how to get him back after pushing him away.

Start by inviting him out to do something fun together. Studies show that relationship satisfaction is twice as high for couples who view each other as their best friend.

Show him that, while you may not be his partner anymore, you’re still one of his best friends who he can have fun with.

Reminding him of your fun and flirty side will remind him why he liked you to begin with.

6. Let go of jealousy

If you find yourself thinking: “I acted crazy and pushed him away” it may be beneficial to look at what behaviors you displayed that made him end things.

Were you:

• Controlling? Asking him not to spend time with certain people – even close friends and family members? Making things difficult for him when he chose to spend time doing something without you?
• Unreasonably jealous? Invading his privacy by checking his phone, even when he’s never given you a reason to be distrustful?
• Being difficult? Sometimes people are difficult on purpose because it gives them attention from their partner. Many people do this by picking silly fights.

If you displayed any of the behavior above, it’s time to do some soul searching and find out where the root of your jealousy comes from.

A little jealousy can even add a bit of ‘zest’ to a relationship but ultimately can end up driving your partner (and yourself!) crazy. This video discusses 7 tips to stop being jealous in a relationship.

Healthy jealousy will ensure you love and appreciate your partner so that you don’t lose them to someone else. Unhealthy jealousy will result in controlling, toxic behavior.

And according to Dionne Eleanor,

Jealousy can poison love with toxic whispers of doubt and insecurity.

7. Be a flirt

One tip for how to get someone back you pushed away is to do a little pre-relationship flirting. It may sound basic, but who doesn’t enjoy flattery?

Once you start talking with your ex again, slowly leave a breadcrumb trail of compliments in your conversations. Tell him how much you admire his amazing qualities. Remind him of how attracted you are to him.

Being flirty will give him a chance to remember how much fun you are and how good he feels when you’re together.

8. Find your independence

“I pushed him away and he broke up with me” is a common outcome when you’re playing emotional games with someone.

“I pushed him away now he won’t talk to me” is another.

When the man you love refuses to speak to you it is heartbreaking, but it may be the push you need to find out who you are and build independence.

Independence is beneficial in so many ways.

• It helps build your confidence
• It shows your ex that you can make yourself happy
• Confidence is sexy, and your ex may become attracted to the new, independent you

Instead of relying on your partner to fill you up, you can focus on your career, go out with friends, and practice your hobbies.

9. Give him your support

“I pushed him away and he moved on” can mean many things. He may have moved on with his life and focused on work. Perhaps he moved away. And of course, he may have moved on with someone new.

Whatever the case, show him you are a more mature person now by supporting his decisions.

10. Figure out why you pushed him away

Have you ever thought: “I pushed him away and now I regret it. Why do I always do this in relationships?”

If so, pushing good things out of your life may be an unhealthy pattern.

Therapy can be a great place to start learning why you behave the way you do and will do wonders for learning how to get him back after pushing him away.

11. Love yourself

If you’re stuck thinking “I acted crazy and pushed him away”, it may be time to get your ex off your mind for a bit and focus on YOU.

What do you like to do? What are your hobbies?

One of the best things you can do if “I pushed him away and he broke up with me” is focus on self-love.

Give yourself grace for the mistakes you’ve made. Forgive yourself.

Practice good self-care, act on things you need rather than what you want and live more intentionally. Self-love is not always easy, but it is always worth pursuing.

12. Learn what pushes guys away

If you found “I pushed him away and he broke up with me”, it is a sign that he was done with the relationship.

If you didn’t intentionally push him away in an effort to end the relationship, it would be helpful to know what pushes men away so you can avoid doing it in the future.

• Overanalyzing everything he does
• Judging his friends
• Being overly jealous or controlling
• Not giving him space
• Arguing all the time
• Being emotional dependant
• Not respecting his boundaries
• Pressuring him to commit when he isn’t ready

These are all things that will make a man hesitant to stay in a relationship.

13. Casually text him

Once enough time has passed, one tip for how to get him back after pushing him away is to reach out through text.

Texting is a perfect way to reconnect because it isn’t invasive, and it gives him control. If he is curious, he will respond. If he is still hurt, he can take his time deciding how he wants to proceed.

Keep the conversation light and fun unless he initiates a serious conversation.

If the texting seems to be going well and you’re vibing on each other again, ask him if he wants to meet up in person.

14. Give it time

If you feel that “I pushed him away and now he won’t talk to me” it may be time to leave things alone for a bit.

If he doesn’t want to talk to you, you shouldn’t force him to.

Couples who trust each other have more fulfilling, happier relationships. Unfortunately, once that trust is broken it can be very difficult – and painful – to repair.

Instead of forcing yourself back into your ex-boyfriend’s life, give him time to heal. Let him know you’re always there for him no matter what and leave it at that.

He’ll contact you when he’s ready.

15. Show him your growth

One tip for how to get a guy back that you pushed away is to let your growth speak for itself.

If you have been staying in contact with your ex, they see how much you’ve blossomed. You’ve become a caring, supportive, independent person who now appreciates your ex.

If it’s meant to be, he’ll see your growth and take the initiative to be a part of your new life.

How to know if this relationship is worth rebuilding

Before putting real effort into winning him back, it’s worth asking whether the relationship itself was healthy before things fell apart, not just whether your behavior needs to change. Pushing someone away sometimes comes from your own patterns, but sometimes it’s also a reaction to something that genuinely wasn’t working for you.

If you pushed him away because you felt unheard, unsafe, or consistently unhappy, working on your own insecurity alone won’t fix that. Both of you may have things to examine, not just you.

Getting him back is worth pursuing if the relationship was fundamentally good and your own patterns got in the way. If it wasn’t, rebuilding your confidence and moving forward might serve you better than rebuilding that particular relationship. Find a Therapist if you want help sorting through which one applies to you.

Wrapping up

Figuring out how to get him back after pushing him away takes effort. Not only do you need to show him you are trustworthy, but you must also practice personal growth.

Search yourself to find out why you pushed him away in the first place.

Once you’re ready, start casually texting him. When you’re able to spend time together again, show him that you love, support, and appreciate him this time.

Learning how to get someone back you pushed away won’t always have the outcome you desire. If your ex doesn’t feel comfortable getting back together, respect his decision and learn from this experience.

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Sylvia Smith Author

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle... Read more in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Read less

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