Do you want to know if you are forcing yourself to love someone? Continue reading this article to find out more.
If you have ever asked the question, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” Then it means you have noticed some signs over time.
People go into relationships for different reasons. While some people see it as a form of security, others regard their relationship as a means to an end. Another group of people views relationships as something that complement their lives.
Meanwhile, some people go into a relationship to have someone to love and care for while hoping they reciprocate. Whichever your reasons are, being in a relationship is great. It helps us strengthen our bonds and have someone to talk to when the world seems to be against us.
The problem, however, comes when you are forcing yourself to love someone. So, what exactly does forcing a relationship mean? Or how do you know you are not being forced into a relationship?
What does forcing a relationship mean
In a typical relationship, each partner is committed to the relationship, and it’s not even hard to recognize it. For example, you may find the couples planning and creating goals together. They know what they want in the relationship and are both ready to work or achieve them.
When you are not forced into a relationship, your actions come willingly, and you will do anything to make the relationship successful. But it does not mean there won’t be disagreements. Healthy couples have disputes occasionally, but what makes them stand out is that they always try to make it work out. They look for ways to fish out the problem and settle it.
However, if you ever feel like you do the most in a relationship, it could mean you are forcing love in a relationship. For example, sex is one of the ways couples create bonds between each other. It should come naturally without coercion. If you find yourself begging to have one, it means you are in a forced relationship or forcing yourself to like someone.
Forcing a relationship means you are making someone love you against their will. Love is not by force and is best enjoyed when the two partners are on the same page. It’s normal to seek ways on how to make yourself fall in love with someone.
Similarly, you can make yourself love someone in different ways. However, you need to stop when it looks like you are forcing yourself to love someone or your partner feels like they are being forced into a relationship.
15 Signs You are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone
If you have asked, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” If you also want to know the signs that you are forcing yourself to love someone, check out the following telltale signs.
1. You are always the first to settle a fight
Again, all healthy relationships are characterized by fights and disagreements once in a while. Conflicts only mean you are being honest with each other and know when to say no.
However, if you are always the first to settle the fight, it means you are forcing a relationship. If you can’t remember the last time your partner called you to fix a rift, you are in a forced relationship. Intentional couples know the importance of settling a dispute as soon as possible.
2. Persuasion is hard
A forced relationship involves one person working harder than usual to build a connection. Two individuals who are in a healthy relationship should be able to persuade and advise each other without fear.
Your partner should regard you as someone worthy of being listened to. But when you constantly exert much effort to sway your partner to do the least, it means you are forcing yourself to love someone.
3. You compromise a lot
“Am I forcing myself to like someone?” If you want an answer to this question, do a quick review of your actions. Have you been making all the compromises while your partner sits back and does nothing?
Understand that no relationship should make you uncomfortable. However, you might need to deny yourself something to make the relationship work. For example, it is vital to take some time for you and your partner to meet.
If it seems like you are the only one making all the compromises, you are forcing love into a relationship.
4. You make all the plans
As stated earlier, a typical couple plans together. The beginning of a relationship revolves around how to make it work and the actions involved. The couple makes plans for vacations, events, goals, etc.
No matter how busy you are, it is best to make plans for you and your partner to see. If you are the only one carrying this responsibility, you might be forcing love into a relationship.
5. Your partner fights over the triflest thing
A forced relationship or a relationship where you force yourself to love someone is usually full of dramas. When your partner takes delight in fighting you over little things, it may mean that you are forcing yourself to love someone.
For instance, if they fight you to meet up with an old friend around the time they are with their friend, that is a sign of a forced relationship.
6. You beg for intimacy
Love is a beautiful phenomenon that involves a strong bond between partners. This bond naturally pushes the individuals to each other and foreground intimacy – it’s simply effortless.
If you find yourself persuading your partner to be intimate with you, that is one of the signs of forcing a relationship. You are good enough and shouldn’t beg to be adored.
Different languages characterize love. For some, being physically available for their partner is a love language, while others value care. Some individuals express theirs through gifts.
It’s understandable if buying gifts isn’t your love language, but you should try to reciprocate with similar gestures. As little as a box of candy can make all the difference. If you realize you buy all the gifts most of the time, that’s one of the signs you are forcing yourself to love someone.
8. Your partner never apologizes
No matter how much you love your partner, there are times they will offend you, and you will do the same. That is quite normal in a relationship. Recognizing you are at fault and making amends is the key to solving this relationship.
One of the ways of resolving an issue is to apologize. However, you might never get an apology in a forced relationship. If your partner is at fault but doesn’t see the need to apologize, you might be forcing yourself to like someone.
If you are at a point in your relationship where you ask yourself, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” Chances are you have had your heart broken many times. Your partner will sometimes offend you as you grow into each other.
What your partner won’t do, however, is to break your heart many times. Some of the things that might break your heart include cheating and lying. When this action repeats itself in a relationship, and you are still there, you are forcing yourself to love someone.
11. You don’t see them in your future
Some people have asked the question, “Can you make yourself love someone?” Yes, you can if they fit your definition of a lifetime partner.
You might not necessarily envision your relationship to become quite huge in the future. But as you get to know your partner, it’s only normal that you imagine a lifetime with them.
If your partner doesn’t fit into your definition of a partner in the future, you might feel like being in a forced relationship. Trying to make them into your ideal partner is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.
12. You don’t know what a happy relationship means
One other sign of trying to force a relationship is when you can’t define a happy relationship. You will think you know it all until someone asks you what it feels like to be in a healthy and happy relationship, and you can’t describe it.
Your relationship should be a typical example, and you should be able to draw one or two examples from it. When you can’t, it only means you are forcing yourself to love someone.
13. You wish the relationship ends
“Can you make yourself love someone?” Of course, you can. But if your effort isn’t yielding any positive result, you might be trying to force a relationship.
If you are in a happy relationship, you will never think of the ending of the relationship. And that’s why some failed relationships are more painful than others – the couple never envisioned a breakup.
On the other hand, if a part of you wishes something terrible happens so you and your partner can go your separate ways, that is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.
An intimate couple shouldn’t have problems bonding together, especially if they haven’t seen each other for ages. If the mood suddenly becomes dull when you see your partner, that might mean you are both being forced into a relationship.
15. You sometimes want to cheat
One way to know you love your partner is when others don’t attract you, even if they are flawless.
In a forced relationship, however, you will constantly feel tempted to cheat on your partner. If you eventually do, you won’t feel remorse about it. That is a sign that you are forcing yourself to love someone.
“Am I forcing myself to love someone?’ If you have asked yourself this question above, you suspect you are forcing love in a relationship.
Everyone deserves a partner who loves and cherishes them all the time. However, a forced relationship can make you feel like you don’t deserve good things. It is primarily characterized by unreciprocated love and actions.
If you have observed the signs above in your relationship, it means you are forcing someone to love you. What you need to do is to stop forcing yourself to like someone. It’s OK if you want to learn how to make yourself fall in love with someone, but don’t force a relationship if your partner doesn’t like it.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.