The impact of miscarriage on marriage is twofold. The effects of miscarriage will either bring you closer or tear you apart.
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Unless someone has undergone this hard ordeal, they cannot fully understand the gravity of this heartbreaking combination- miscarriage, and marriage.
It is critical to remember that grieving for coping with miscarriage is a personal experience. Despite the miscarriage and marriage problems, you can make use of the grieving period to bond with your partner.
Your marriage partner is the only closest person you can talk to about what you are going through while dealing with miscarriage.
Please do not allow the loss of pregnancy to drive a wedge between you and your partner; instead, let it be a cementing factor in your relationship.
Take the grieving process to be a time to draw you closer to each other and understand each other better. Let it be said at the end of the grieving period that the miscarriage served to bring you closer than driving you apart.
Miscarriages occur due to various reasons. And no one wants to undergo a miscarriage. But if it happens, do not blame yourself for it, but most importantly, allow yourself to grieve for the loss.
Allow all your emotions about miscarriage and marriage to be expressed. This is crucial because if you shut your feelings in, you will be stuck in that for a long time.
But the big question now is, how will the miscarriage affect your relationship with your partner? Here are four primary ways of how a miscarriage might impact your marriage.
1. You may be torn apart in your relationship
One of the side-effects of miscarriage in marriage is that you may grow distant from one another. This might not happen immediately, and you will never plan for it to happen.
You might have a feeling that you are to blame for the loss. Sometimes, you might not even know what you are supposed to do.
Most partners find themselves in this situation of miscarriage and marriage. Therefore, you are not alone.
According to studies, it has been found that the couple who grow distant after a miscarriage is because they do not take time to talk about their feelings.
When you do not talk about your feelings, you will stick yourself away from your partner. And if you allow this to go on for a long time, you will become depressed.
So, once you undergo a miscarriage, ensure that you openly express yourself about how you feel about it to your partner.
Alternatively, you can talk to your family members or your friends about your feelings. If you find it difficult to speak to those around you, you can speak to a professional counselor. Talking will go a long way to help you process your loss.
2. You might feel like you do not want to have another baby.
After the miscarriage, you might feel let down, cheated, and sad. And that is okay. But no one can predict what will happen.
Therefore, it is paramount that you give yourself some time to heal, physically as well as emotionally. You have undergone a big ordeal, and you need to take a break.
During the healing time, create time to do the things you like. For instance, go for a weekend, go away with your partner, or even take a long bubble bath.
Taking a break will help you to heal your wounded emotions.
Also, it will be a great time to bond with your partner again. Equally important, make sure that you get all the medical help that you might need during this time.
You will discover that after a while, your attitude towards life has improved.
When you feel like you have healed and are strong both emotionally and physically, you can conceive again.
You are not alone, many couples have experienced miscarriages, and they have gone ahead to have healthy and happy kids.
3. Increased fights with your partner
After the loss of your unborn baby, you might experience anger bursts over petty issues.
You will find yourself becoming angry over every small thing that your partner does. It will become impossible to agree with your partner on anything.
When you start experiencing this, it is a clear sign that you are not in a position to deal with the feeling of your loss.
That’s why it is paramount to acknowledge that you have lost your unborn baby. Apart from that, it is crucial to allow yourself to grieve.
Actually, anger is an emotional stage of grieving your loss. And it is perfectly normal.
The most significant thing to do is to learn not to vent your anger on your partner.
It would be best to recognize why you are angry and learn how to handle your rage best. It is healthier when you allow yourself a grieving period.
That period will help you feel all your experiences regarding miscarriage and marriage, and it will help you manage your emotions in a better way.
And one of the best ways to manage your anger is by choosing to respond instead of reacting.
4. You do not want to be strong for your partner.
You and your partner have different ways of dealing with the loss.
There are no two people that are the same. Therefore, the way you handle the loss is different from your partner’s.
For instance, your hubby might want you to be strong, but you are not ready yet. The way in which we handle a loss is determined by a lot of factors unique to every individual.
Again, this is where open conversation with your partner about your feelings is crucial.
It is very natural to have different ways of dealing with a loss. And for this reason, one partner might come to terms with the loss faster than the other.
Therefore, it is essential for you to tell your partner how you feel. You can ask them, for instance, to give you more time to process the loss.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.