Although getting a divorce is tragic, no matter what the conditions may be, if you happen to be pregnant (or your spouse happens to be pregnant) and you’re seriously contemplating making this kind of decision, that can be all the more stressful. To say the least.
But if you’re someone who was already in a pretty strained marriage around the time that you first found out that you were expecting, although the baby itself is a blessing, it’s understandable that it can also bring forth a lot of pressure and anxiety. Children are expensive. Children require a lot of love, time and energy. And that can be a lot to think about as you’re trying to decide if your marital union is a healthy environment for your child to grow up in.
Yet before you call an attorney or even file for a legal separation, make sure to read this article in its entirety. Hopefully, by the end of it, you will see some of the reasons why it’s such a good idea to rethink divorce during pregnancy.
1. Don’t make serious decisions when you’re overwhelmed
If you are the one who is pregnant, your hormones are going to be ever-changing during that time; this can result in your emotions doing the same. At the same time, if it’s your spouse who is pregnant, you have to adjust to them adjusting to their hormonal shifts. All of this can put quite a bit of stress into the relationship. However, that’s just the reason why divorce should not be considered then. Even if there were problems before the pregnancy, you’re going to be in a better (and wiser) headspace to make serious decisions once the baby has arrived and you’ve gotten back to some sense of normalcy (even if it’s a “new normal”).
2. Children thrive more in two-parent homes
Although it’s a topic that has been debated for decades, there is a lot of data to support the fact that children tend to do better in a two-parent home. According to Heritage.org, children of divorce are more likely to experience poverty, to be a single (teen) parent and also deal with emotional issues. Data also indicates that single mothers experience increased levels of physical and mental illnesses as well as addictions. Children doing better in a two-parent homes is another reason to rethink divorce during pregnancy.
3. Being pregnant alone can be very trying
Ask just about any single parent and they will tell you that things would be a lot easier for them if they had the constant support of a partner; not only once their baby arrived, but during the pregnancy stage too. As a little person is growing inside of you, sometimes it can take a real toll on you physically. Having someone consistently available in the home can be beneficial in a myriad of ways.
4. You need the additional financial support
When you decide to have a baby, every single thing about your lifestyle changes. This includes your finances. If you decide to get a divorce during pregnancy, that is an additional cost that can cause an additional burden. Between doctor’s visits, decorating the nursery and making sure that you have the money that you need in order to provide a healthy and safe labor and delivery, your finances are already going to take quite a bit of a hit. You don’t need the additional monetary strain of a divorce to compound it.
5. It’s good to have both parents
A baby is not on a set schedule; at least not until you help them to get onto one and that can take some time. In the meantime, there are going to be around-the-clock feedings and diaper changes which can cause both parents to be a bit sleep deprived. Just think how much more challenging it is to adjust to a newborn in the house when you’re alone. Having the support of another individual in the house as your baby is growing is another reason why divorce should be avoided if at all possible.
6. A baby can bring forth healing
No couple should have a baby in order to “save their relationship”. But the reality is when you find yourself staring into the eyes of the miracle that you and your spouse created together, it can make some of the things that you’ve been fighting over seem inconsequential—or at least fixable. Your baby needs both of you to raise them and if you make the decision to rethink divorce during pregnancy, you may come to the conclusion that you need one another more than you thought too!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shellie Warren