When we hear “making love”, most of us think of sexual intercourse right away. But what this article will be about is a different kind of making love – making love on the spiritual plane in your relationship. We often get swallowed by our daily stresses and chasing the fulfillment of our aspirations. And we forget to be ambitious about our marriage. Or, we get too preoccupied with different resentments that each marriage gathers along the way. Let’s remind ourselves about all that can be mended by love and how.
Day to day struggles
Far too often we get consumed by everything that is going on in our lives as individuals that we tend to disregard the importance of keeping the love alive. Many take their marriage and their spouse as a given, and as a result, they inadvertently put that second to everything else. We’re not talking about huge crises that every person and relationship encounter. We’re thinking of the “normal” stress in life that can have an unthinkable effect on a marriage.
Research shows that the way in which we experience stress both as an individual and on relationship level is directly associated with how our spouses cope with stress.
In other words, how we tackle stress in life and relationship has a huge impact on the stress levels of our spouses also.
Stress may have devastating effects on a person’s wellbeing and health. We should never disregard the love we have for our spouse and let that be the main factor in how we interact with them, instead of letting our daily frustrations overtake every conversation and emotional exchange.
Boredom in marriage
Most studies and psychological practice deal with immediate risks for a relationship such as conflicts, affairs, violence etc. However, research shows that there is another silent killer of marital (and individual) happiness in marriage, and that is simple boredom. The initial excitement of a relationship declines, which is perfectly normal. However, it appears that enjoyment is associated with feelings of closeness with our spouse. When the excitement declines, this closeness is at risk.
This is why you should try and fight boredom in your marriage. Make love your guiding light. Don’t forget that it is a fire that takes care and attention so that it does not go out. This doesn’t mean the love isn’t real, on the contrary. Love means putting your mind and effort into making things work even when there are no pressing problems other than inertia that creeps up on your relationship.
Forgive and forget through love
We live in an individualistic world. This, in a way, means that we’re all guided primarily by our egos. It is not necessarily a bad thing. It makes us be everything that we can be because we’re driven to fulfill our potentials. However, this can also be a peril for a relationship at times. When we’re hurt in any way, especially by someone we love, we tend to focus entirely on our own perspective. We expect the partner who transgressed to do all the work.
We’re not saying that you don’t have the right to feel wronged.
What we are saying is this – with love as the guiding light to all your actions, you will come to accept your spouse as they are and forgive them.
It might not be the easiest thing in the world, but there are ways to practice forgiveness both for small things and the big ones. Making love the crucial factor in our marriage will lead you naturally towards understanding your spouse and forgiving them for their weaknesses.
Affairs and how to overcome them through love
After talking about forgiveness, what will come to many readers’ minds is, unfortunately, forgiveness after infidelity. It is one of the major ‘no-no’ of every relationship. But it is also an extremely common problem for every couple to solve.
Regrettably, in many cases, when one or both partners stray, it is a sure prologue to a separation.
Yet, it doesn’t necessarily need to be that way. And the key difference is in, you guessed it, love.
It doesn’t mean that you aren’t entitled to be hurt. And you will say that you’re hurt because you love your spouse, not because you’re indifferent.
Yes, it is so. But, what you should aim for, for the sake of your own wellbeing and the relationship as a whole, is to put your love for your spouse (and acceptance) before your pain and insecurity. Trust the healing power of this emotion and follow it all the way to the new and improved you and your marriage.