Finding love, getting engaged and getting married are amazing milestones in life. Each step is filled with excitement, good times and of course, the memories of falling in love.
However, what happens to love after marriage?. Life and its worries can slowly chip away the love after marriage and leave any couple wondering if they even loved each other.
Eventually, once their relationship has degraded enough couples stop contemplating the idea of falling in love when married. But is knowing ‘how to make your spouse love you again’ or ‘how to find love again in marriage‘ actually this difficult?
The entire journey of falling for someone is an unforgettable one and despite popular belief, it doesn’t end once you walk down the aisle. Falling in love after marriage is possible with a little relationship advice.
Here’s how to fall back in love with your spouse again after marriage:
Act like you just met
Love after marriage requires newness at some point. The easiest way to add newness to a husband and wife love after marriage is by acting like you just met. Remember that getting to know you phase in the relationship? Go back to that place.
Ask your spouse questions that you would ask someone you are dating, go on more dates, ask him what his favorite meal is, ask her what her favorite flowers are and just have fun.
Over the years, people change and evolve so acting like you just met can provide new insight on your spouse. Humans are complex. There is always something new to learn.
To fall in love after marriage, you need to enjoy the feeling of new love with your spouse again, so make sure you touch each other more often. When you first fell for your partner, chances are you couldn’t keep your hands off him/her, right? Well, why stop now?
So if you are wondering how to love your wife again or how to fall in love again with your wife, start by holding hands, giving your partner a back rub, a massage or a kiss. Individuals need physical contact to feel loved and appreciated.
Address your partner’s needs
When two people first fall in love, they are very focused on one another. They do their best to make each other happy and tend to be very giving. As time goes by, this effort diminishes but it shouldn’t.
Of course work, kids and other aspects of life may get in the way but in order to experience all the wonderful aspects of falling for your spouse once again, address his/her wants and needs.
In order to do that, make it a point to make your partner feel good, praise their accomplishments and do what you can to make their day a little brighter. This also translates into the bedroom. Remember, satisfied spouses are happy spouses!
Give your partner a special name
Rekindle the romance by calling your partner a special name like ‘honey’ or ‘sweets’. It will take you back to your dating days when you were all over each other. Don’t address your partner with a ‘hey’ or ‘listen’.
Be affectionate whenever you call out for your significant other. They are sure to take notice and will appreciate your gesture.
It might seem redundant or even embarrassing at times, but such superfluous actions covey the lengths that you can go to keep your partner happy. Yes, they are only very small gestures, but many times its such little things that no one imagines anything off, that do the things that no can imagine.
Make time for sex
Scheduling time for sex, much like date night, is absolutely imperative. Try something new, or do it on a lazy Saturday afternoon or on a regular weekday by simply slipping into his morning shower. Whatever excites you both, but do ensure that you make sex a priority in your marriage.
If you feel like intimacy in your marriage has gone beyond the restoration point, seek professional help. Meet with a reputable sex and intimacy counselor, or even a marriage counselor.
Doing so will help you learn how to not only enhance intimacy but also repair any other damage that your relationship might have suffered.
Practice forgiveness and acceptance
Forgiveness reduces stress and replaces negative emotions with positive ones. Be mindful of this and accept your partner for who they are. This also means letting the small stuff go and appreciating them as much as you can.
Such an attitude creates a positive environment for a healthy relationship and ensures both partners care and love each other.
Become a good listener
How else can you fall in love with your spouse again, you wonder? By simply listening to them! Give them a chance to open their hearts to you, allow them to express what they truly want to share and you will witness the love quotient increase in your marriage.
Becoming a good listener also entails not offering them unsolicited advice. Sometimes, partner’s just want their other half to listen to them. Remember, only give advice when they have asked for it.
Do something special
Do something special for your wife or your husband that actually tells them how you feel. It could be baking a cake for your husband or buying that lovely dress your wife’s been eyeing since last month.
It does not have to be anything extravagant – it just needs to show them that you care for how they feel and that their happiness is important for you. Little acts can go a long way.
Go through old pictures together
Ladies, this one will surely make you fall in love with your husband all over again. Ditto for the gents! Reminisce about the old days by going through your pictures together.
Going down memory lane can help you connect all over again in ways you cannot imagine. Take some time out or do this for your next date night!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.