Infidelity may not sound new when it involves dating married men. But what is it involves married women? What does it mean for a man to date a married woman, and are there consequences?
There is a lot to know regarding having an affair with a married woman. This article explores some of these things.
Is it okay to get involved with a married woman?
Before we embark on things to know when getting involved with a married woman, let us first consider whether such a relationship is okay to have in the first place. You can date a married woman knowingly or unknowingly.
At first, such a relationship can be fascinating. However, it has consequences and could leave you with a broken heart. Besides, getting involved in a married woman’s affair can contribute to destroying a family. Therefore, getting involved with a married woman is wrong in every sense.
Why are married women getting into extramarital affairs?
There is no denying that more women are getting involved in extramarital affairs like men. This can be for reasons such as seeking excitement outside marriage, finding a shoulder to lean on, or even seeking revenge for their cheating husbands.
Extramarital affairs act like scapegoats for married women to deal with marriage issues. For others, it is simply for seeking pleasure and escaping boredom in marriage. Generally, extramarital affairs are momentary escapes for married women from reality.
20 Things you should know when dating a married woman
Here are several things to know when dating a married woman.
1. She might break your Heart
Dating a married woman means that you are dispensable, and you can expect to be heartbroken anytime. Rarely do women leave their families for someone else. This means that they can quickly leave you once they realize that their family is more important to them.
Similarly, a married woman can quickly replace you if they choose to. This can undoubtedly leave you devastated, primarily if you have invested too much in the relationship.
2. Your relationship will not be normal
Unlike dating a single person, relationships with married women are far from normal relationships. It would help if you braced yourself for dates at odd hours or in private places since you can’t be seen in public together.
With so much going on in her life as a wife and mother, she will always put you on standby mode and can only confirm dates last minute.
Also, you can’t hold hands in public or post your pictures on social media as you would when in a relationship with a woman you love. You need to pay in cash when paying for things because credit cards usually leave a trace.
Ideally, everything needs to be discreet and more like it’s non-existent. This can hurt your relationship with time, and you may feel dissatisfied.
3. You will always be a rebound
In most cases, a man having an affair with a married woman may be considered a rebound. Usually, a married woman gets into an extramarital affair to get back at her husband.
He probably cheated on her, and she is looking for easy revenge by using you. If you are not careful, you might think that she is in it for love while her true intention is to get revenge on her spouse.
Therefore, it is essential to ask yourself whether you want to remain a rebound. If not, you should seek a relationship with a single person who will be committed to you.
If a marriage suffers boredom, a married woman can keep a relationship outside marriage to break the monotony and add excitement to her life. In this case, she will only be with you because of physical pleasure and not because she loves you. She will leave you for another man if she feels that you don’t spice up her life.
5. You are setting yourself up for emotional manipulation
Dating a married woman exposes you to a lot of emotional manipulation that can leave you drained at some point. She is probably trying to gain your sympathy, and she needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to her marital woes.
While what she says may be true, it will most likely put you in a tight spot. By manipulating you emotionally, you will feel sympathy, and she will use this to get what she wants.
While you may enjoy quality time with a married woman, they may not always be there all the time. She needs to get back to her home and children at some point, and this means that she may not be there when you need her the most.
You need to accept that a married woman will put her family commitments first before you. This can make you feel left out and lead to constant disappointments, especially if you are emotionally attached to her.
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7. The future ahead is not bright
When getting involved with a married woman, don’t put your hopes up for a bright future. In most cases, a married woman can’t break up her family for an illicit affair, especially if children are involved.
Therefore, she is not thinking of a future with you more than a temporary relationship. You can only enjoy an intimate relationship for a while, but the future is uncertain.
Ultimately, everyone will be broken in such a relationship, or things will get ugly. Therefore, if you want a serious relationship, getting involved with someone’s wife is the last thing you do.
8. There is danger of the husband’s wrath
A married woman is still married to their spouse unless they get a divorce. When in a relationship with a married woman, you will always fear getting caught by the husband, which can be a scary experience.
There is a high risk of physical harm if the husband finds out and decides to confront you on the matter. He will feel betrayed by your relationship and will do anything to protect his family, even if it means harming you.
He can also go to the extent of harming your professional life or ruining your reputation on social media. So, before getting involved with a married woman, think about all these consequences.
9. She can’t reciprocate your love
A married woman may convince you that she genuinely loves, but this may not be true. She wants you to believe this so she can get what she wants from you before returning home to her family.
She would choose you over her husband by getting a divorce if she did. But the fact that she is still married means that she is still in love with her husband and may not reciprocate your love the same way.
10. Expect people to judge you
It is morally wrong to have an affair with a married woman. Therefore, don’t be surprised when people constantly judge you for your actions. Even if you may be genuinely in love with a married woman, you will still appear as a homewrecker in the eyes of many.
It would help if you dealt with something else that you will always appear like the bad guy during confrontations. People will most likely blame you for any issues that arise between the woman and the husband, and you may be considered the cause for divorce if it happens.
11. Low self esteem
By continuing a relationship with a married woman, you put yourself up for low self-esteem. You may feel guilty for messing up someone else’s marriage, which can change how you view yourself as a man.
Also, a married woman, when you tell her that you love her. Some may withdraw completely when you pour out your heart and start to get attached. This can negatively affect your self-esteem, and you may act vulnerable even when you get into other relationships in the future.
It is easy to define your relationship and establish the type of relationship you want when dating a single person. However, this may not be the case when dating a married woman. It can be confusing to define your relationship and tricky to determine who you are to each other.
It is impossible to make plans for the future, as with regular relationships. You may even have different relationship goals, which can cause many issues. Before you know it, it is already too late, and you will have missed a significant part of your life and incredible relationship partners.
13. You need to keep reminding yourself that she is married
One of the rules for having an affair with married women is not to forget that they are married in the first place. You need to constantly remind yourself of this before doing anything or making plans.
While she may spend time with you, you should not forget that she is married, and she cannot be the single woman you desire her to be. Hence, your relationship may not be as fun and fulfilling as dating a new partner.
You will have to keep up with continuous mentions of her husband and children at some point. Overall, such a relationship can be limiting.
14. Expect confrontations
Besides her husband, you should be prepared for a confrontation with your family, friends, or her family. Those that find out about your relationship may confront you for messing up with a marriage.
Your family may also feel disappointed in dating a married woman. This is particularly true if they are religious and consider it morally wrong to be involved with a married woman.
15. She may cheat on you
If a married woman cheats on her husband, you can expect her to leave you for someone else. Like med, women who cheat in their relationships are likely to do it again. This thought alone can make you worried that she may be unfaithful, and this may cause you to spy on her now and then.
Chances are she is seeing someone else or even having the thoughts to leave you at some point. This can be dangerous and make you prone to diseases.
16. It may end up in pain and destruction
Although enjoyable initially, extramarital affairs are more likely to end in pain. It comes with many consequences that can be a hard pill to swallow. You must know that illicit relationships with married women offer them an opportunity to get away from their marital problems.
However, if things work again in her marriage and she is reconciled to her husband, she may drop you like a hot potato. They may stay in the relationship driven by motives like sex, comfort, excitement, and more. Unfortunately, they can break your heart when they get what they need from you.
17. Her family can never be your family
While seeking comfort from you, a married woman may open up to you and share details of her family. It is easy to get attached to the children and their lives and even be tempted to take active roles.
However, no matter how much information she shares about them, they can never become your family.
This can be devastating, especially if you also want your own family. Her life and that of her family will continue while yours will stop.
18. You will always need to hide
Having freedom and a care-free relationship is nearly impossible when you choose to date a married woman. Although she is involved in an illicit affair, a married woman will try to protect her reputation and will not show you off in public. As a result, you will need to hide as much as she does.
You can only plan dates in a discreet place, and you may at times not go shopping or do fun activities together. Such intimate moments can help solidify your relationship, but this may be lacking in a relationship with a married woman.
19. She is always thinking of her husband
If she has not yet divorced her husband, chances are she still thinks of him and misses him while with you. Ideally, you might be reminding her so much about her husband. Consequently, this can ruin the fun of your dates.
She may also be guilt-stricken when having an affair with you and may at some point feel like returning to her family. All of these can cause a toll on what you thought was a solid and lasting relationship.
20. She is still sleeping with her husband
Unless otherwise, chances are she still has sex with her husband while still in a relationship with you. Unlike being in a relationship with a single woman, this is something you have to deal with when dating a married woman.
Whether you like it or not, this can invoke feelings of jealousy and insecurity, which can significantly affect your relationship.
What’s more, it puts you at risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Ultimately, this chain can take a toll on your physical and emotional health.
Tips for ending an Illicit affair with a married woman
If you are already in a relationship with a married woman, there are several things you can do to end the affair. Here is how to end an extramarital affair with a married woman.
· End the relationship in person and not through text.
· Explain your reason for breaking off the affair and be honest.
· Cut off all contact and close every emotional door.
· Don’t respond to messages and try as much as possible to cut her from your social circle.
· Know that you deserve better other than being her rescuer.
· Remind yourself that you deserve to be with someone that reciprocates your love fully.
Whatever the reason for an extramarital affair with a married woman, it is morally wrong and has a lot of consequences. Although relationships with married women may seem exciting, it is short-lived, requires a lot of effort to maintain, and can leave you emotionally drained.
Consider going for counseling if you are in an illicit affair or are contemplating getting involved with a married woman. This will help you understand your relationship needs and work out any issues.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.