Divorces are very painful, especially when things happened so fast and couldn’t be resolved. Wealth division, children, and stubborn soon-to-be ex-husbands are some of the factors that complicate divorces and further make the pain even worse for most women.
Oftentimes, dating a woman going through a divorce can prove to be a tall order, especially when the man knows very little about handling women going through a divorce.
The soon-to-be ex-husband may also not be prepared to see another man with his former wife and decide to frustrate the wife’s newfound relationship.
However, sometimes things may just flow seamlessly with the separation making the divorce proceedings a mere formality, free of pressure or stress.
For those who just found themselves dating a soon-to-be divorcee, it’s important to keep in mind that she’s a collection of more than what you see on the outside; and recognize that she’s also made up of her past marriage, the divorce process, and previous family situation.
Having these in mind makes your work easy as you have a perfect understanding of your woman’s past and current environments and, thus, will be able to handle her better and fasten her recovery process.
But, if you are dating a woman going through a divorce, this guide will equip you with a few but basic advice on how to date a woman going through a divorce.
1. Understand the expectations
The expectations and excitement that come with every new relationship may be nullified in this case, though if handled well, it may still be realized.
Any woman dealing with the divorce process while dating at the same time is, unknown to her, handling two potentially complicated relationships. One is ending, and another is just picking up.
Being in a relationship with such a woman calls for a high degree of patience.
At times you will notice having moments of elation because she’s closing a hugely unhappy chapter of her life, and another time, she may be filled with regret or sadness about what the past marriage has brought into her life.
A man dating a woman going through a divorce will need to understand all the issues she’s currently struggling to come to terms with and demonstrate care and love as she heals. She is likely to fall into different moods based on what has presently flooded her mind.
In some cases, you may even realize she still harbors some feelings for the soon-to-be ex-husband, which can strain your relationship.
But all she needs from you right now is patience and understanding of her current situation. If you manage to give her that, she’s likely to sort out her feelings about the past.
2. Remember the children
If the divorcing woman has children in the mix, then you’ll need to understand that it may take the kids a while to recognize you. They are likely confused about the new man in their man’s life and not sure exactly how to feel about you.
The best way to go about this is to develop some flexibility to terms set by their mother as this is what is comfortable for both the mom and the kids too.
Your willingness to meet the kids when they are comfortable to meet you is a positive step towards getting you and the kids acquainted.
3. Benefits the man may enjoy
Dating a woman going through a divorce or one who has gone through separation has its benefits and more to the man if he’s serious about the relationship.
Women who have been through a marriage terminated through a divorce or any other means legally, know much more about how relationships grow.
They are also aware of the possible pitfalls that can spoil newfound relationships.
This is particularly good for the man as it makes the woman even more committed to the relationship.
Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
5. Considerations to take note of
As awkward as it may sound, there’s always a chance that the woman and her soon-to-be ex-husband could reconcile, depending on the stage of the divorce proceeding and when the two of you met.
Another possible occurrence would be that the two (she and her soon-to-be ex-husband) may want to reconcile, but given there’s a man in the picture, things can become complicated and unpredictable.
5. Some warning
Other than the above complications that may arise, you may also need to realize that dating a woman going through a divorce may make you her rebound. You may just be the right guy who pops out at the right time but then is the not ultimate long-term partner to the woman.
It is, therefore, important to take things slowly and have in the back of your mind that this could as well be a short-term relationship even if you wanted it to be a long-term thing.
This is true as most divorcing women are usually reluctant to jump right into a considerably serious relationship.
On the other hand, it’s also wise to consider the possibility of her making this new-found relationship a serious one if her previous relationship was particularly unhappy and cold.
All these are possibilities that need some serious thinking before getting into a relationship with a woman who is in the process of getting a divorce. Think through things fully with an open mind before making this commitment.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.