Childhood Emotional Neglect: Signs, Effects & How to Heal

In our early years, it is important to mention that our psychological development and emotional well-being were shaped by the kind of care, support and love we received from our caregivers. 

This means that the quality of our emotional nurturing has a determining effect on how we are able to build healthy relationships and become better adults. 

If you have encountered people who were unable to understand and express their emotions, it is mostly because of the support and nurturing they received. In this article, you will learn what childhood emotional neglect means and how to heal from it. 

What does childhood emotional neglect mean?

Childhood Emotional Neglect is defined as a situation where a child’s psychological and emotional needs are not met due to the negligent behaviors of their parents or caregivers. 

When a child’s emotional needs are not attended to during their formative years, they mostly grow up to be adults who find it hard to establish emotional connections with people around them. 

The absence of emotional nurturing makes it difficult for them to validate and acknowledge their feelings when other people are involved. This answers the question of what is childhood emotional neglect. 

In this article by Seval Bekiroglu titled Childhood Emotional Neglect, you will have a broader view of this concept, the risk factors, and how to make the necessary adjustments. 

Clear signs of childhood emotional neglect

Childhood emotional neglect is a multifaceted issue, and its signs differ across individuals. Here are some signs of childhood emotional neglect

• Low self-esteem

One of the ways to know someone who suffered from childhood emotional neglect is that they will have a sense of unworthiness. 

Most of them will always feel that they are not good enough because they grew up not getting emotional acceptance and attention. They may feel like they are not worthy of care and attention.

• Fear of emotional intimacy

Another sign of childhood emotional neglect is when they are afraid of creating close emotional bonds with other people. They mostly prefer to keep their feelings guarded to avoid getting hurt. Emotional neglect can prevent people from opening up to those who care about them. 

Grady Shumway, LMHC, says

This fear of vulnerability often stems from a lack of secure emotional connections in childhood, making it difficult to trust others and experience healthy, fulfilling relationships. Overcoming this fear requires patience, self-awareness, and the willingness to gradually let down emotional walls in a safe and supportive environment.

• Inability to set boundaries

You can detect if someone suffered emotional abandonment in childhood when they find it difficult to set boundaries. They will be unable to be assertive, thereby putting other people’s needs before them. Such people often suffer disappointment because they expect too much from others.

• Difficulty recognizing their emotions

When they find it hard to identify and express their emotions, it is one of the signs of childhood emotional neglect. They will be unable to understand what they are feeling, and this can cause conflicts with other people. 

• Self-criticism

If an individual suffers from childhood emotional neglect, they tend to be perfectionistic or self-critical of themselves. They mostly hold themselves to high standards, and when they don’t meet up, it affects them negatively. 

What are the effects of childhood emotional neglect?

When people experience childhood emotional neglect, it can have both short and long-term effects on their psychological and emotional well-being. 

• Risk of addictive habits

Is emotional neglect abuse? It can be when it leads to addictive habits in victims. 

One of the common effects of childhood emotional neglect in adults is that they might develop addictive habits. They might indulge in substance abuse or compulsive behaviors like food addiction, video gaming addiction, internet addiction, etc. 

• Identity issues

Another effect of childhood neglect is that the individual will find it hard to recognize their identity. They will find themselves adopting other people’s desires, values, and goals without having their own. This often leads to an identity crisis where they are confused about who they are.

• Effect on parenting

When children who experienced childhood emotional neglect grow up to be adults, they find it hard to provide their children with emotional support. This may lead to an unending cycle of emotional neglect where their children become adults devoid of emotional attention and care.

In this article by Veena Kumari titled Emotional abuse and neglect, you will learn how to focus on the prevention of emotional neglect to avoid mental health consequences. 

How to get healed from childhood emotional neglect

For a child who was neglected emotionally, it is impossible for their healing to occur instantly. Here are some effective steps to help someone who suffered childhood emotional neglect. 

• Self-awareness

It is important to identify and accept that you went through childhood emotional neglect. Don’t invalidate your feelings and experiences. Getting healed requires that you acknowledge what you experienced instead of denying it.

Grady Shumway further adds,

Building self-awareness is a crucial step toward healing, as it empowers you to understand the lasting impact of emotional neglect on your emotional health. By acknowledging your past, you can begin the process of healing and cultivating healthier, more fulfilling relationships moving forward.

• Learn to express your emotions

Another way to heal from childhood neglect is learning to identify and express your emotions. You can use techniques like journaling or self-affirmations to express your emotions. 

• Set healthy boundaries

Learn to set healthy boundaries in your relationships to safeguard your mental and emotional health. Don’t be reluctant to assert your needs, and learn to communicate them effectively to everyone.

Learn to set boundaries, stop people pleasing, and have healthier relationships with others and yourself. Watch this helpful video: 

• Build positive relationships

It is important for you to forge new and healthy relationships to help you heal emotionally. You need the right set of people with positive energies and not negative ones. It is crucial to surround yourself with people concerned about your well-being and progress. 

• Practice self-care

Another way to heal if you suffered neglect emotional abuse is to practice self-care. This means you should eat a healthy diet, exercise, get enough rest, practice relaxation techniques, etc. 

• Support networks

One of the ways to heal from emotional neglect is to surround yourself with understanding and supportive people. You can share your experience with trusted people so that they can care for you. Being with a solid support network is therapeutic, as you experience genuine love and care. 

• See a professional

One of the ways to understand the root cause of a problem or situation is to see a professional who truly understands. Consider seeing a counselor or therapist to help you discover how childhood emotional neglect develops and how it can be effectively addressed.

FAQs

Here are some more questions discussing the consequences of emotional neglect as a child. Go through them for a self-help guide.

• What are the permanent effects of childhood emotional neglect?

It is important to mention that the effects of childhood emotional neglect can be permanent in an individual’s life. Some of the possible permanent effects include the inability to maintain healthy relationships, low self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, depression and anxiety, inability to set boundaries, etc. 

• How does a neglected child behave in adulthood?

When neglected children become adults, they display a broad range of behaviors. Some of them find it hard to express their emotions to loved ones. 

They might also be reluctant to be intimate and vulnerable with people. An adult who suffered from childhood emotional neglect may display self-destructive or addictive behavior as a coping mechanism, thereby answering the question of what is considered childhood neglect. 

• What is the effect of childhood neglect on the brain?

Childhood neglect can negatively impact the brain in different ways. It can cause functional and structural changes in the brain, especially the areas responsible for emotional regulation, social communication, and stress response. When these changes occur, it becomes challenging for individuals to function optimally. 

• Can adults who have experienced CEN have healthy emotional connections in life?

Yes, it is possible for adults who experienced childhood emotional neglect to develop emotional connections, provided they seek healing and support. 

They can seek healing by undergoing therapy, developing emotional skills, self-awareness, etc. It may be challenging to build healthy relationships, but it can be done with time, love, and patience. 

• Is it possible for childhood emotional neglect to be unintentional?

Yes, it is possible for childhood emotional neglect to be unintentional on the side of the parents. 

Some parents may not be sensitive to the emotional needs of their children because they are unaware of what to look out for. They might be distracted by work, health, finances, etc. However, this unintentional act can cause grave emotional damage to their children. 

For an emotionally safe childhood

Having read this article on childhood emotional neglect, you might be able to tell why some people find it hard to build healthy relationships. 

Some people suffered childhood emotional neglect because their parents were emotionally unavailable for their needs. To learn how to undergo the healing process for childhood emotional neglect, consider seeing a therapist or relationship counselor. 

Here’s an eye-opening guide titled Good Parenting, which teaches parents how to ensure their child grows up right.