10 Easy Indicators That Will Help You Identify a Cheater

It is human nature to believe that what we have will last forever. However, that is not always the case.

There are times when even though everything seems picture-perfect, everything just falls apart without any warning. Numerous factors can cause a relationship to breakdown – lies, misunderstandings, secrets, etc. 

However, what really poisons a relationship is cheating.

The reason why cheating is so fatal to a relationship is that it plays on one’s trust. Typically, the pillars that uphold a relationship are love, trust, and respect. However, the act of cheating can destroy all three in one fell swoop. Once the trust is completely gone from a relationship, it takes feelings of love and respect along with it.

Now, how can one be sure about their partner not cheating on them without being completely paranoid? What are the signs your partner is going to, or already is, cheating on you?

Let’s take a look the some of the indicators that can help guide you. 

1. Lack of attention

The very first red flag is probably the shift in attention. The focal point of your partner’s attention will shift from you or things related to you to themselves. Things that they previously noted or were careful of will all of a sudden not matter to them. 

In some cases, they may even adopt an air of indifference. Instead, they will focus their attention more on their own self. Especially their physical appearance. 

You might start to notice behaviors that you have never seen before, for example, a drastic change in fashion choice. Wearing colors and styles they previously disliked and constantly being conscious about how they look. However, if you were to ask the same questions, they would not really care. 

2. Events will lose their importance

Events like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s, etc., will lose their importance. Of course, this might likely be a mistake. 

However, the difference between a genuine mistake and disinterest will be quite apparent. If your partner has made a mistake, they will be genuinely sorry and try to make it up to you. 

If that isn’t the case, then you will see a careless attitude and a clear lack of concern. And this careless attitude of theirs is clearly one of the ten signs your partner is going to, or already is, cheating on you. 

3. Absence of emotional intimacy

Another defining factor of a cheater is their lack of emotional intimacy towards their partners. 

They may still indulge in sexual practices; however, you won’t feel that feeling of “romance” and “love “in your relationship. 

4. Avoiding sexual intimacy

Sometimes, cheaters will also avoid sexual intimacy as well. This is another way of showing a lack of interest or simply not caring. They will try to distance themselves from the relationship. Why do they do this? It is because they probably can’t bring themselves to break up. 

Therefore, distancing themselves is the next best option and a sure sign that your partner is going to or is already cheating on you.

5. Secretive behavior

This is another glaring red flag, especially if your partner was previously very open towards you; everything from their computer to their cell phone will become off-limits. 

They might even get annoyed if you try to ask simple questions like “How was your day?” or “Who are you going out with? 

6. “Give me some space”

Yes, this is another thing you might hear.

Suddenly your partner may feel the urge to have a personal space. Not the kind of personal space that everyone needs but the kind that more or less secludes you from their life. 

7. Changes in financial behavior

You might notice that your partner has started spending more and not because they got a pay raise. No, this will be more of a general increase in expenses. It could be new clothes or self-care items, or other unexplained expenses.

One thing all these expenses will have in common – they will be focused on your partner only.

8. Your partner will be uncomfortable having you among their friends

Most of the time, friends will know a lot more than you. Therefore, to have you in their company may be very uncomfortable for your partner. It may be possible that you may hear something that your partner is trying to hide.

Hence, they will try to separate you from their social circle. 

9. Rescheduling and canceling

Your partner may reschedule or cancel on you more frequently.

This will also apply to special occasions. Eventually, they will spend very little time with you, and something is bound to come up every time you decide to get together. 

10. Overly defensive

Another indicator that cheaters tend to show is that when you try to talk to them about any of the things mentioned above, they will become overly defensive and hostile. 

There is also the possibility that they might turn the blame onto you. Behavior like this is usually exhibited by people who have something to hide.

Now that you have a fair idea of the signs, watch this video where relationship coach Brad Browning discusses some ways you can confront your spouse to know more and work on your relationship:

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Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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