How Can a Lack of Commitment in Marriage Lead to a Divorce?

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When we get into a relationship, there is just one factor that we mostly consider, and that’s being “in love” with the person. When we move on to a long-term relationship or even marriage, that’s when it gets really serious because now it involves commitment.

Nowadays, this word is very scary for most people because it means that you need to actually share your whole life and be committed to one person.

How do you define commitment, and how does a lack of commitment in marriage lead to divorce?

What is a commitment in marriage?

Love makes togetherness beautiful

On the other hand, marriage is as important but it’s not a guarantee that you’ll be together until you’re old.

So, what makes a relationship last longer? It isn’t just feeling loved or that legal paper that binds two people together, it’s your commitment to the relationship. But, why is the word commitment so hard to define?

Commitment is very important in every relationship

When we are in a committed relationship, we tend to act differently and reevaluate our priorities, knowing that we are no longer living for ourselves but with our spouse. Being committed to a relationship means that you’re thinking about both of you with every big decision you’ll be making.

According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:

Being in a committed relationship means showing up every day with honesty, patience, and a willingness to grow.

You’re in a relationship and will do your best to make it as pleasant and harmonious as possible.

Commitment is entirely our choice, but you have to think about this: You can’t see yourself really marrying someone if you can’t commit, right? It’s our choice to limit ourselves to certain choices because we are already committed to someone. You will no longer do things because you value your marriage.

Now, you see how a lack of commitment in marriage can ruin it?

Recommended – Save My Marriage Course

Why Is ‘commitment in marriage’ important?

Everyone is looking forward to their own happily-ever-after love stories but with every story comes your own sets of trials.

How do you stay committed to a relationship? Did you know that there are 2 initial stages of commitment in marriage?

Let’s look into it further –

The initial commitment – the promise

When a couple decides to get married, they offer their initial commitment to the relationship. When you’re saying your vows, you’re already promising commitment to your spouse or partner.

You want to commit to a relationship because you are in love, and you see your future with this person. That’s why people get married. They foresee their future, a family, and a committed relationship.

What most couples don’t expect is that marriage isn’t the seal that will guarantee a life of togetherness — it’s how you work on your commitment that will ensure this.

Keeping true to your words – keeping the commitment

Over time, commitment will not only keep you faithful to your marriage but also strengthen it. It shifts depending on how your relationship goes.

When the couple starts experiencing trials such as financial problems, jealousy, adjustments because of having children, and even intimacy problems, there are chances that one’s commitment will also be affected.

What happens when a spouse who used to be committed starts to change? What happens when there’s a lack of commitment in marriage?

Effects of lack of commitment in marriage

One of the primary reasons why “lack of commitment” causes the downfall in a marriage is that one or both of the spouses begin to drift away from the relationship and begin taking their partners for granted.

If you no longer feel loved or important, what will happen to your marriage? If one refuses to work on the relationship, the marriage will not be saved.

Maggie Martinez, LCSW, further shares:

When one person decides not to commit to the relationship, it is difficult to save the marriage.

What does ‘lack of commitment’ do in a relationship?

1. The lack of commitment to work on the relationship will ultimately lead to divorce. Marriage is a work for two, and if only one spouse does it, it will not work. 
2. Lack of commitment in marriage will lead to infidelity. A person who doesn’t feel the responsibility of committing to his or her vows will be susceptible to different types of temptations.
3. Fear of being dependent on another person can cause a lack of commitment, and this will prevent a spouse from opening up and being comfortable with the marriage.
4. If you don’t commit to your marriage, you won’t make time and effort to bring you and your spouse closer. You won’t agree to see marriage counselors to fix a problem, and you won’t put your heart into making it work.
5. Without commitment, you’ll most likely disregard your spouse’s needs and your responsibilities.
6. Lack of commitment as a married person will not put you physically, mentally, and emotionally in a relationship because every relationship requires commitment.

Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce

Ways to strengthen commitment in marriage

There can be trials that will show how far you can test your commitment to your marriage. But if you feel that you need to work on your commitment, then that’s already a good start.

Maggie Martinez highlights that:

Change always begins with the acknowledgment that there needs to be a change.

Work on these questions and re-assess your commitment to your marriage – 

1. I want to commit to my marriage because… 
2. I want to work on marriage because… 
3. I ought to stay faithful to my vows and stay strong in this marriage because…

Ask yourself these questions and reassess where you stand – 

1. Don’t be afraid to set goals and get involved. This is your marriage and no one can work on it other than you and your spouse. Open up, and don’t be afraid to get involved 
2. Be vocal about your commitment and your love for your spouse. Let your kids and your spouse know that you are proud to have them 
3. Don’t be afraid to sacrifice. This is your family and your spouse. Don’t count what you have sacrificed for your marriage because you have to do it because you want to and not just because you are required to.

What happens when there is a lack of commitment in marriage? How can someone work on keeping their marriage and family together if he or she is just doing it alone?

Without ‘commitment to your marriage’ or in your own self as a married person, it won’t work out.

Commitment is one of the solid foundations of love, respect, and marriage.

So, we have to work hard for it.