How to Flirt with Class and Look Good Doing It

Rachael Pace, Author

Rachael Pace

Expertise: Mental health, Parenting

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

Learn about Our Editorial Process

4.8k Reads

Updated: 1 Feb, 2023

Table of Contents

Respect boundaries and kindness. Flirt with class by listening, using gentle humor, and inviting shared moments that deepen safety and closeness for both partners.
Listen deeply and respond. Give full attention, learn what she cares about, and follow up with concrete plans that show you remember and value her.
Engage as a two-way dance. Read the mood, communicate openly, and nurture a mutual path toward closeness that both partners feel seen and valued.

Flirting is an essential part of courtship.

It develops intimacy, develops bonds, and most of all it’s fun. Ok, I take it back, it’s not fun when you get shot down by a woman, especially in public. It’s also a bother if a woman receives advances from a man she doesn’t like.

The dynamics of human courtship is a complex thing, and this applies to everyone, even the rich and the beautiful.

Back in the stone age, a man hits a woman with a club, and that’s all there is to it. Today, doing that means spending 20 years in a maximum security hotel, with free food and guards, and little chance of ever seeing another woman again.

So everything has to be done with class. It makes flirting fun and effective, and you don’t embarrass yourself or spend time in a maximum security bed for a few years.

So it has to be done with class, Here’s how to flirt and look good doing it.

The Untouchables

Even if it’s possible for you to get any guy or girl you want, you shouldn’t. There is a list of people that you should never, ever flirt with.

Family
Family of friends
Minors
Married people
Committed people
Priests / nuns
Friends of exes
Family of exes
Exes of friends
Exes of family

It doesn’t matter how you feel, or how they feel about you.

If you just think really hard about it, having any sort of intimate relationship with people that fall in any these categories will be more trouble than it’s worth. Flirting and creating gossip material is even worse, you will get a lot of flak and none of the benefits.

You don’t really want to be the talk of the town, in a bad way.

Stay away from cheesy pickup lines

The fastest way to make a fool of yourself is to use an obvious pickup line to a total stranger in public.

The best way to avoid it is to be subtle and indirect if you are looking at how to flirt with class and look good!

Here are ways to try to hide your intentions

Start by making her laugh, but the joke isn’t about her – Pick up lines are annoying to most women because it’s directed at them if you can make them laugh on a subject away from them. The best topic would be something silly about you, once you have her laughing, you’re halfway there.

Be the first to walk away – If things didn’t heat up right at the get-go, drop an invitation, smile, and leave.

This works on a few types of women, the type that wants to have the last word, the types who likes mysterious people, the ones who likes to go for the unreachable, and the type that believes everyone wants her.

A lot of them wouldn’t be able to resist and approach you so they can respond.

Guys like pickup lines that are are slightly sexual.

Don’t ask anything that can be answered with a one-liner or a no – The best way to ruin a potential opening is when one or both parties run out of something to say. So, avoid this pitfall by making sure the conversation flows.

Listen

The more you respond accordingly to their interest, the more people talk

According to people who met him personally, President Bill Clinton is a great guy, because he gives you laser focus attention when you are in a conversation with him. You don’t have to be a former President to do this, he probably became one because of it.

Nothing makes you more impressive than giving someone your full attention when they are talking. The opposite is also true.

Besides, the more you know about someone, the easier it is to follow up.

If for example, they say, they like Japanese food, invite them to go this awesome Japanese place that you know. It will give you an instant date.

Don’t fake it, make sure you know one. Because they will ask you about it, and it will ruin all the work you’ve done so far if they find out your full of bovine excrement.

That is the advantage of listening, the more you respond accordingly to their interest, the more people talk. The more people talk about themselves, the more you learn things that you can use at a later date.

Touch

Skin is the largest sex organ. Both sexes want to be touched. But be careful where you touch, you don’t have to go for the bases right away.

Hold their hands. This always works, but there are other places you can touch that are suggestive and naughty, but not downright offensive.

Places like a woman’s shoulders and a man’s biceps. Learn to read the mood. Touching is the best way to say “I wanna go somewhere more private with you, but if you don’t want to, it’s fine.”

Will you still love me tomorrow?

This song by the Shirelles, and popularized by an Amy Winehouse revival hits the nail on the head.

By giving them a glimpse and assurance of a great tomorrow. People will be interested in you and what you have to offer.

The best conversation pieces when flirting are jokes, especially sexual jokes, but the next best thing is a romantic future. Creating an impression that you are a great sexual partner, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, father/mother, and stuff like will make the other person’s imagination run wild.

A glimpse of a memorable future, lifetime or just until breakfast the next day, will be enough to perk another person’s interest to give it a try.

Flirting is a two-way street

Men and women are courting each other, and old school tradition says that men have to approach first, and the woman needs to dress up to get their attention. But that’s no longer true today.

What is true now, and has always been and will always be true, is flirting is an interaction, communicate with your words, your body, and your gestures. Like all forms of communication, you have to read the mood and respond accordingly.

Flirting is the same, it is a silly game of “catch me if you can” with both parties wanting to get caught while pretending to be hard to get.

It doesn’t matter who started it. What matters is how you play the game.

So how to flirt with the class?

Be the party pretending to be hard to get, but don’t try too hard.

Helpful?

Take Our Marriage Course

Continue exploring this topic

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

Share this article on

Share this article on

Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less