What to Expect When Being a Single Mother – Useful Insights

There has been an increase in the number of single parents – particularly single mothers – in the world recently.

The major reason for this is thought to be the growing rate of divorce with about 50% of all marriages ending in divorce.

Moreover many females in the world, despite never being married, choose to be single mothers. You may even be widowed or co-parenting with an ex and still qualify for the ‘single mom’ status. No matter what your condition is, you know it too well that being a single mother is not an easy job.

It is hard and requires so much effort and attention but at the same time, carries irreplaceable rewards that no single mother would ever change it for anything in the world.

In short, the single mother life is like a roller coaster with many ups and downs, but it feels so good that you would want to go for it again and again.

If you are new to the single mother life, carry on reading the points mentioned below to have an idea of what to expect through this ride.

You will have so much to do but too less time to do it all

You will suddenly find yourself buried in heaps of responsibilities such as childcare and upbringing, household chores while working hard to provide for the family as well. You will constantly have items being added into your to-do list, and no matter how hard you try they just don’t seem to end.

Finances will be messy, and you will turn into a penny pincher

With so many expenses to attend, it is no surprise you will try to find ways to save your money as much as possible.

You may have a job that pays too well or too poorly, you will be living in a constant state of fear of what will happen if you ever lose your job.

It may help to devise a budget for your household to manage your finances without things getting too tough.

Dating might seem difficult, but it can certainly be done

It may feel like you already have too much on your plate, or you might still have emotional baggage from your past relationship, but it doesn’t mean you cannot find love again.

There are many men who are interested in dating mothers and love their kids equally as much.

Always make sure that you know that this is your call and although it may be tough to balance things out, it can really help you feel refreshed and affirmed.

You will need support, never turn down help!

Don’t try to be a supermom and try to master this new life overnight nor try to get everything done yourself as this is not a rational approach at all!

Be easy on yourself and learn to let go. Keep around friends and family who are willing to support you throughout and will always be there to help you out whenever you ask.

Also if someone offers to extend a helping hand, always accept it and reduce the burden on your shoulders.

No matter how bad it is, you will have to cooperate with your ex

Although the mention of your ex may be painful and makes you angry, you have to understand that the children love and need their father as much as they need their mother.

There is no point being angry and constantly bickering with them. Instead, learn to cooperate and reach decisions that both of you think are the best for your children.

Furthermore, you should avoid bad-mouthing about the father to the children and instead tell them the truth when they ask but quickly change the subject. As they grow, they will gradually understand the situation for themselves.  

Social life and fun are never too far away

You can always take out time to have some leisure time of your own or spend some time having fun with your children.

It is okay to put the chores and responsibilities on the back seat for once and enjoy yourself along with your children.

It doesn’t have to be something too big either, movie nights or occasional ice creams or maybe even a day out with your own friends; don’t be guilty because you deserve it all.

It may seem a bit too overwhelming for now, but once you get into it, you will love every second of your mom life. All you have to do it is be confident, be proud and don’t let the opinions of others or a minor mishap get to you.

Expert Q&A

I am a 48-year-old single mother, and I am finding it very difficult to love again. What should I do?

Anne Duvaux

Coach

Expert Answer

Opening ourselves to love can be very hard because it means being vulnerable and open to loss. A good place to start is to explore what lies behind the fear or resistance you're experiencing. Or perhaps it's another emotion? Sometimes, we also have to process our pain from the past or simply reconnect with our self-esteem. A powerful approach for this is journaling with some prompts to process emotions. Working with a coach or therapist can also help you uncover and let go of whatever is blocking you.

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The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less