Do you ever get the feeling that you are working way too hard in your marriage? You struggle to support your relationship while your wife sits back at home doing nothing.
Such thoughts can really destroy a marriage. After all, laziness in a marriage is not only frustrating, it can create resentment in a spouse who feels like he’s doing all the work. Eventually, disappointment mixed with anger can curtail communication. Balance is of the essence for a successful marriage and neither should think that the other one is lazy or absent. Both partners need to feel valued and respected.
So, if you start noticing that your wife is lazy, it’s time you do something about it. It is important to nip laziness in the bud. This can only happen if this problem is acknowledged and worked upon by both partners.
Here are 4 solutions you can consider:
1. Communicate & confront the issue
There is always a reason why someone is not being productive. Your wife may be going through something that she is not willing to talk about. Initiate the conversation and openly discuss the matter. Tell her what you think about her attitude and ask her about her possible problems.
Inquire about her physical and mental well-being. For example, people suffering from depression tend to be extremely lazy. When depression takes its toll, people are usually unaware of it too. You may also want to ask her about her general satisfaction with you and your marriage. Try to get details out of her so you can understand what she may be going through.
If there are no problems, only speaking can set a great basis for further development towards productivity. One thing is extremely important to take into account – do not argue. Try to solve the problem one day at a time; don’t make her feel like you’re being too pushy.
2. Encourage her and offer your support
Actually, lazy people tend to have really creative ideas when it comes to solving problems. It is often the case that most creative people are lazy. Explore your wife’s talents and encourage her to take guitar or painting lessons, if she enjoys that. If your wife happens to be a good cook as well, praise her food.
Some people just need a pat on the back to keep them going and to go out and start working really hard. If your wife already has a job, get to know more about it. On the other hand, some people need someone really strict to tell them what to do. If you wife is like that, she may appreciate such as gesture. It may just be the thing she needs.
3. Understand your own motivations
Ask yourself if this is a sudden change of behavior you are noticing in your wife or was it a trait from long-before. You also need to examine your own motivations. Do you really want to inspire a positive change in your wife and help her address her laziness or is it just about proving a point? If the goal is the former, then you’re on the right track. Both partners need to be a source of positive reinforcement and influence each other to be the best they can possibly be. If it is the latter, then understand that you’re wife is unlikely to take you seriously. Don’t let her laziness make you think any less of her. Influence and help her to address the matter instead.
4. Check your behavior
Have you scolded her for this shortcoming? Have you made sarcastic remarks about her laziness that have resulted in fights? If yes, then understand that having such an attitude is not going to serve any purpose. Feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment are natural but you need to express yourself in a respectful manner. Don’t hurt her sentiments. Appreciate her work and efforts when she does things and egg her on to achieve more. Whether it is at her workplace or at home, set an example for her which reveals that having a resigned attitude never helped anyone in life. To improve things, all of us need to work and contribute to our well-being around.
To sum up, laziness is something we all experience from time to time. But when it happens constantly and results in the other person working much more, it can result in serious discontentment. Addressing and solving the matter can be an exercise in patience but is absolutely worth it! Work together with your partner to solve this and help each other grow as individuals.