Why Marrying Someone Who Gives You a Helping Hand Is a Good Idea
It is often advised humorously, marry a guy who cleans the kitchen or fixes you breakfast in bed, well, at least sometimes!
Behind this enigmatic title hides a very profound wisdom – marry someone who will be your support, who will know what you need of him and be willing to make the effort to make your life easier.
How that relates to the said kitchen, you might wonder?
As you suspect, it’s not really the kitchen that matters, but it is all that leads to the husband doing a surprise cleaning to help out the wife.
The reality of marriage
Marriage isn’t easy. It might be one of the most challenging endeavours a person can take on, one may argue.
There are great marriages, as well as those that will test your every limit. But what is common in all marriages, is the fact that you will need to work hard, to give it your all, and to constantly broaden your mind, tolerance, and empathy to make it worthwhile.
There will be ups and downs. In some marriages, more downs than ups. Some will be your own doing, some will be caused by events you couldn’t control. There will be instances in which you or your husband lose temper, and there will be fights you would rather forget. There will also be, hopefully many, beautiful moments in which all your struggles make sense.
So why bother, you might ask? Marriage isn’t easy. But it also can be the most significant thing you will ever do.
Marriage brings you the safety, purpose, understanding, and affection that give our human lives a meaning. By connecting with another human being on such a level as in marriage, we can realize all our potentials.
Traits to search for in a future husband
With all that was said in the previous section, it becomes clear that who you pick to be your husband can and will impact your entire life. Therefore, there has never been an important choice to make.
You can never be too picky when it comes to the traits you search for in a husband-to-be.
Although tolerance and understanding are at the core of any successful marriage, there are weaknesses that can be tolerated, and those that should be major deal breakers. Let’s start with the latter. In essence, no marriage can survive (on good health) aggression, addictions, and repeated affairs.
Put readiness to help when you need him to (even when you don’t ask) at the top of your list.
Not only is this a handy trait to have in a husband, it is a reflection of the many positive characteristics of a person.
Someone who helps others, regardless of whether they bicker here and there, is someone who can be selfless, empathetic, thoughtful. It is a person who can put others’ needs and wellbeing first and make a sacrifice when needed.
In small gestures, as in cleaning the kitchen instead of his wife, a husband demonstrates the underlying caring and protecting personality.
And this is definitely something every wife can hope for.
How to make small acts of kindness your married way of life
Up until this point, we kept talking about what a husband should be like for his wife. However, the same goes for the wives.
Kindness, in small gestures or in huge sacrifices, should truly be at the root of all your actions. Therefore, you should make an effort to inspire your husband (and yourself) to be caring all the time.
What usually gets in the way of these small caring acts that come so easily at the beginning of a relationship are misconceptions.
People believe that gestures, such as cleaning the kitchen, buying flowers, making a mixtape, or any of those beautiful moments we don’t spare when we first begin to date, are reserved for the courtship phase of a relationship.
Furthermore, many people idealize the concept of spontaneity, and they feel that if they are required to work at love, something must be wrong with the relationship. It is not so. Love is a willingness to make an effort for the sake of the other and the relationship, not the lack of such eagerness.
Venture on, and be on a lookout for an occasion on which you will do something beautiful for your husband. Buy him tickets for a concert (something he likes) or a game, let him sleep in while you prepare breakfast, arrange for a special time and space for his hobby.
Anything goes. Just keep on giving, and you’ll see how your marriage turns into a caring and loving place.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.