Why Do Men Hate Rejection so Much?

Marriage.com Editorial Team

Expertise: Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice.

Learn about Our Editorial Process

18.5k Reads

Updated: 30 Jul, 2024

Table of Contents

Rejection often stems from miscommunication and unmet needs, so couples can grow closer by choosing open, compassionate conversations that validate each other's feelings.
Authenticity over gestures matters more than gifts; couples should set clear boundaries and express needs honestly to deepen trust.
Grow through adversity by choosing vulnerability and respect after rejection, listening with empathy, and rebuilding connection together.

Men feel like they are built to rule and when they offer their great bounty upon a few chosen women, they expect a lot of gratitude in return. When this gratitude is not given to them then the masculine image that these men pride upon gets shattered, hence making men hate the entire phenomena of being rejected.

As guys, being rejected is a failure of their masculinity and when this happens, men tend to become aggressive and broil the oppressor. When a woman rejects a man, he feels unimportant and unappreciated. It starts to get personal because men tend to believe that they have been rejected due to their inadequacy, however, the hatred that men feel against rejection is not based entirely on their insecurities.

Some other reasons as to why men hate being rejected are mentioned below. Keep on reading to find out.

1. Being strung along

Men hate rejection because it can be extremely incomprehensible and difficult to process due to the fact that everything that led up to this decision suggested otherwise.

Some women unknowingly lead guys on by giving them suggestive responses, and innuendos that can make them feel like all the cards are on the table and asking them out is just a formal step that they have to take. However, when they hear the reply “I’m sorry, I don’t see us anything more than friends” they are bound to get upset which makes them react aggressively.

To get curved like this can be too much for some guys to handle and this causes them to respond back with pettiness, anger, and abusive words.

Some women unknowingly lead guys on by giving them suggestive responses

2. Being used

Guys tend to take rejection really badly if they feel as if they have been used by a woman who they saw as a potential girlfriend. This feeling of being used is incredibly common if the girl goes ahead and accepts cash alerts, gifts and other pricey stuff for months and then goes ahead and says no when the guy makes a move to start a romantic relationship. This is a wrong gesture made by women because they give them the idea of being with them, they let the guy spend his time, money and effort on them and just say no in the end.

According to marriage mentor Christiana Njoku:

No one feels happy for being used, men inclusive.

Women, on the other hand, should try and make their boundaries very clear on how they perceive the relationship and men and should avoid losing their cool and insulting the women.

3. Not very serious

When a man’s original intentions for talking with a girl is just to play around, get intimate and move on then, it makes it very easy for him to say trash to her face and insult her when she ends up saying no.

If all he wants to do is get intimate and pass then he will have no qualms being incredibly nasty when he gets rejected; since he no longer has anything to lose. However, contrary, if a man sees a woman as a long-term partner and is willing to make a commitment then he will never say or do anything that can shut down the entire possibility; even if she rejects him two or three times.

4. Sexist and patriarchal beliefs

For some men being told “no” by a woman is disrespect for their masculinity

As mentioned above, for some men being told “no” by a woman is disrespect for their masculinity. This makes them ask questions such as “How dare you to reject me?” “Do you even want to marry a guy at all?” “Don’t worry, keep on rejecting us good guys and you will rot in your parents’ house unmarried, ugly and old.”

This may sound stupid, but this is how some guys think and react when their masculinity is compromised and put on the line.

However, to such men out there, it is childish and petty to react like this when a girl rejects you in a polite and respectful manner.

5. Childish stupidity

One of the main reasons why men cannot handle rejection is due to their immature actions and thoughts. A mature man is able to understand and comprehend the fact that being rejected does not mean it is the end of the world.

Christiana Njoku further says:

It takes maturity and understanding to handle rejection in relationships.

A mature man will act accordingly, and politely accept the rejection because he knows that there are plenty of fishes present in the sea and he will find one that wants him. A mature man will not take this rejection as an affront to his masculinity and will, in fact, act like a gentleman.

Only a man-child will act in a selfish and insulting way and will try everything he can to bash the girl with he was showering with gifts just last week with extremely harsh words.

Helpful?

Take Our Marriage Course

Continue exploring this topic

Hi, I'm your relationship guide. What's on your mind?

YOU COULD START WITH

Share this article on

Share this article on

Marriage.com Editorial Team Relationship & Marriage Advice

The Marriage.com Editorial Team is a group of experienced relationship writers, experts, and mental health professionals. We provide practical and research-backed advice on relationships. Our content is thoroughly reviewed by experts... Read more to ensure that we offer high-quality and reliable relationship advice. Read less