Some couples are incredibly compatible because they both love sports or arts or theater… Or maybe they’re highly compatible because they’re very wise in what to argue about and what to let go.
But why is relationship compatibility important and is compatibility in relationships the key to a good relationship?
For the past 30 years, the number one best-selling author, counselor, master Life Coach, and minister David Essel have been helping people understand the key concepts in regards to love, friendships, and even family member relationships.
Below, David discusses relationship compatibility and its role in choosing healthy companions and friends.
“When we look at secrets in love, some of the “secrets, “are known by many but practiced by few.
Does that make sense?
Because what I’m going to share with you right here, millions upon millions of people know, but do not act upon regularly.
One of the greatest secrets of love that we write in great detail about in our brand new book “Love and relationship secrets… That everyone needs to know!“ Is that compatibility, while important, is not the most essential component when you’re trying to decide upon choosing a good love partner or life partner for you!
If relationship compatibility was the answer for a healthy relationship, was the biggest key for a long-lasting relationship, we wouldn’t have 80% of relationships in the United States in the terrible place that they are today.
If all it took was being compatible, we would not be asking ‘how important is compatibility in a relationship.’ We would have the reverse roles of what we see now: 80% of relationships would be healthy if all it took was compatibility to make it work.
But, this is an essential secret for all of us to understand, while compatibility matters for long-term love, it’s not the most crucial feature in choosing a partner.
As we discussed in great detail, the real key to look for it after you decide that you do have compatibility with someone because, after all, we do need to be compatible to get that relationship moving forward in the first place.
Is asking ourselves this question: does the person I’m dating, my partner, have any deal killers that will come up down the road and potentially derail our relationship?
How many times have you asked someone this question after they told you that they’ve just met “the man and or the woman of their dreams“?
Have you ever heard anyone ask that question at all?
Of course, as a counselor and minister, I ask these questions all the time, but it’s because it’s my work!
Over the past 40 years, I’ve seen that this whole concept about “deal killers in love,” is where we need to be focusing our attention.
A deal killer might be someone that has small children, and you’ve already had children and don’t want to go through that again.
Or maybe a deal killer is the fact that the person you’re dating right now is glued to the TV every Saturday and Sunday watching their favorite sporting events… And that just doesn’t cut it for you.
Now it doesn’t mean that either of the above people is incorrect in what they like or choose to do with their life, but if those things are deal killers for you, down the road, they will destroy the relationship.
One couple that I worked with, that we are able actually to help even though there were deal killers involved, was a husband who loved to hunt and a wife who loved theater.
And guess what? The husband hated theater, and the wife hated hunting.
So it almost ended their marriage until we worked together for several months, and I was able to get them to see that there’s a compromise here… That if she would just allow him to engage in his sport of choice whether she likes it or not, and if he does the same and allows and not only allows but encourages her to continue to see the theater she loves… The relationship can work.
And it did work.
But this is a rarity, actually two people talking about deal killers and trying to find a way to work through them.
But never forget this love secret that I’m sharing today: while relationship compatibility is essential, the deal killer issue is even more critical.
If you decide to stay with someone who smokes and you can’t stand smokers or drinks, and you can’t stand drinkers… Resentments will build down the road, and eventually, the relationship will implode.
It doesn’t have to be this way, and with the secrets were sharing, we are here to help change the relationship status in the world.“
Individuals like the late Wayne Dyer highly endorse David Essel‘s work, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says, “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
His work as a counselor and master Life Coach has been verified by organizations such as Psychology Today, and Marriage.com has confirmed David as one of the top relationship counselors and experts in the world.
For more information on all David does, including his brand new book “Love and relationship secrets… That everyone needs to know!“ please visit www.davidessel.com.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
David Essel, M.S. is the best selling author of 9 books, a counselor and master life coach and inspirational speaker whose work is endorsed by celebrities like Jenny McCarthy, Wayne Dyer, Kenny Loggins and Mark Victor Hansen. David accepts new clients monthly via Skype and phone sessions from anywhere.
(David Essel is also listed in Best Marriage Therapists in Fort Myers)